Korean Job Discussion Forums

[periwinkle]

One of my students called me and said he wants to come over. He was quite aggressive and said he'll call back Mon. for my answer. This is a kid from a large TOEIC lecture class that I barely know. I asked him why he wants to come to my house, and he said first that he wants to see my kid, and second that he really needs to practice his English. Maybe this is a bad attitude on my part, but he's going into the miltary in a month, so I don't see why all of a sudden he's so gung-ho about English conversation. With me. During summer vacation.

Please don't suggest that I be the World's A#1 best teacher and invite him over. I've got 10,000 reasons I could list as to why I don't want this random student in my apartment! I don't want to meet him, period. I don't do privates, and I'm too busy with my family, etc. to hang out with students, vacation or otherwise.

Anyway, how would you handle this? I told I had to talk to my husband about it first, and he said he'd call again.

Does this happen to Korean teachers, as well, or is this another case of boundaries not applying to foreign instructors?

[Tjames426]

He was going to pay you how much for the English lesson at your home???

Maybe, you should ask????

[I_Am_The_Kiwi]

all i can say is *beep* THAT!

if he wants a private lesson go to a coffee shop or something....or go to his house. You invite him over, then he knows where you live man. Sounds like a risky dude already. Save yaself the possible hassle and just dont.

Say your busy, say your going out of town....

[Join Me]

Something sounds wrong about this and you feel it too by what you are saying. I would just brush this kid off by saying I am very busy right now. As you said, in a month he goes in the military. If you don't feel comfortable with that, tell him your employer does not like this and it could cause problems for you at work. If are not comfortable with those excuses, offer to meet him for coffee so he can meet your child...bring your husband as a surprise.

Being a teacher in Korea in no way means you are obligated to invite someone into your home that you are not comfortable with...SO DON'T DO IT!.

[Mr. Pink]

I've had students come to my apartment, just never alone and of the opposite sex...to me that is awkward for both parties.

When I read your topic title it reminded me of when I taught high school kids and one of the girl students I had used to brag to her friends how she would go for dinner at her ex-hawgwon teacher's place and how he would cook her dinner. The guy was a foreigner...when I heard that I used to think WTF is that teacher doing...

Just tell the student no...its not like it will break his heart.

[moosehead]

easy - tell him your husband is a very jealous man - VERY jealous - and you don't think it's a good idea -

I wouldn't want such a creep around my kid, much less at my home.

what an arrogant bastard!!

good luck. let us know how it goes.

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Join Me]

[Oreovictim]

He probably wants to have sex with you. I can imagine him talking to his friends, and they're telling him, "If you want to score, you have to be confident and direct; be bold." But maybe he isn't interested in that.

Honestly, do you even owe him an excuse? Just say, "No." You're a parent, right? What will you do when your kid gets old enough to beg for candy when you're grocery shopping? Will you give in? If so, you'll just be raising a spoiled child.

Remember, you're the adult; this meddlesome student is not even or barely one. If he is persistent, tell him that working another job (babysitting) is in violation with your visa.

[Whistleblower]

Don't forget that Chicken Little got accused of fondling a kid in front of the whole class (which didn't happen). Imagine what this kid will say when you invite him over to your house.

[crusher_of_heads]

You are not welcome in my apartment. Don't contact me again or I will contact your family, DUMBASS.


ok DUMBASS part is optional

[Horangi Munshin]

Just say no, you might have to say it a few times. You don't have to give a reason.

This reminds me of when I was teaching at a hagwon in Changwon. My one room was 5 minutes walk away and I regularly met students out and about. Two middle school girls just blurted out in class that they would visit my house! The reason was they were interested in how I lived, probably nosey about what stuff I had. Needless to say I nipped that in the bud!

[IlIlNine]

As if it hasn't been said enough.

Say no. Be firm, and then harsh if needed. It's quite likely he wants to pursue you and will take any hesitation on your part as an invitation to try harder. Some can be quite persistent.

If he needs to practice his english, tell him that that's what class is for - and if he needs extra practice, there are other avenues he can take.

Don't feel guilty in the slightest. He's aggressively trying to push your boundaries, don't be taken advantage of. If you don't put him in his place, you'll end up regretting it.

[Bibbitybop]

I had a drunk ajossi try to come into my house once. He finally went away when I showed up in my boxers, he tried to walk in (he was reeeeallly drunk) and I shoved him. I could hear him trying to get into my neighbor's door.

So, try shoving your student.

[Kikomom]

Happy to see that you all are aware of the pitfalls of this sort of situation.

This is a tricky game you play, only I know it has real life consequences.