Korean Job Discussion Forums

[The Bobster]

Two threads have been started just to talk about how some people are not sad because Jesse Helms died nonviolently at a ripe old age after living a long life and having a tremendous influence on American politics in the later half of the previous century. A lot of the things people said on those threads were negative and spoke of him as a racist and a hater and a force intimately involved with holding back social movements aimed at meaningful progress for women, gays and minorities.

Yes, all those things were true about the man - BUT they were all quite negative. Let's be fair. Let's all say something about him that isn't so mean, and we'll try to even be truthful while we do ...

Here. I'll go first.



Jesse Helms never strangled a kitten, at least not in any public place where there were cameras and people who could see it. I'm pretty sure about this.



Okay. Your turn.

[Ya-ta Boy]

As far as I know, he did not wear striped pants with a plaid shirt and paisley tie, thus not committing any actionable atrocities against fashion. What he wore, if anything, under his white sheet I'll leave to your imagination.

[Kuros]

Jesse Helms did not sign into law a crippling and ineffective embargo on the Dominican Republic.

Jesse Helms never said a word denying the equality extraterrestrials may enjoy with whites.

[bacasper]

Jesse Helms never hit his mother with his hat on.

[The Bobster]

Jesse Helms was NOT a member of the Illuminati.









I think.

[Ya-ta Boy]

Jesse Helms, while partial to magnolias, is not known to have discriminated against daisies and tulips.

[Kuros]

Jesse Helms was not involved in the Opium Wars, the African slave trade, or the Crusades.

[Ya-ta Boy]

As a young man, Jesse Helms won county-wide renown for walking almost 3 miles to his favorite fishing hole.

[Ya-ta Boy]

When a young boy, Jesse Helms and his friend Gomer, as young boys in North Carolina in those days were wont to do, stole a pack of Lucky Strikes from Jesse�s father while the old man was passed out.

Later, when his father confronted him and said, �Jesse, did you and Gomer steal a pack of Lucky Strikes from me?�

Jesse heroically replied, �Father dear, I cannot tell the truth and break the bonds of friendship and white brotherhood. I think it was Rastas or Uncle Remus who did it, sir.�

[spliff]

RIP...A great man and thinker, IMHO!

[daskalos]

He never raped a munchkin, which is, in part, why they all danced around singing, Fa la la la la, fa la la, fa la la, fa la la la la la!