Korean Job Discussion Forums

shawner88 · Joined: 01 Feb 2003

One time a taxi driver massaged my neck and hands when we were stuck in traffic...he had strong hands too! It felt good yet strangely awkward....

Confused Canadian · Joined: 21 Jan 2003

The funniest answer I've ever gotten on a test actually happened yesterday...

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What are the following people probably going to do? Use "be about to" to explain what these people will probably do.

29. Sally has her jacket on. She has her hand on the doorknob.

Expected answer: Sally is about to open the door. (or Sally is about to go out.)

Answer given by student: Sally is about to knob. Shocked

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I'm still laughing about that one, and probably will for a few more days.

Followed closely by this one from years ago.

The following question and answer appeared on a test given to my lower level adult class:

Who is your favorite actor / actress?

Answer: Bread Feet

If you're having trouble figuring this one out, this actor has appeared in many movies (like "Seven") and is currently married to Jennifer Aniston.

FliptheCoin · Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2003 6:50 pm Post subject: Oh the Condom Story

I was only here for about 2 months before my parents decided to send me a package. It was just before Christmas so they sent it UPS or some other courier. Expensive, but guaranteed to arrive before Christmas. Anyways my sister (bless her soul) threw in some condoms as a joke. Well my mom wrote the list of all the contents out on the side of the box. I had been forewarned that my sister had put something 'funny' in the box, so imagine my surprise when Immigration phoned my school. Apparently they didn't understand all of the items (written in english). They faxes the list to the school and my boss translated through me, over the phone to Immigration. There were a few things that were tricky to explain, but I think the condoms were the hardest! My face was pretty red. When the package finally arrived, I gave the condoms away to my boss and the other teachers (they were all different colours and brands).

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

mokpochica · Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Location: Ann Arbor, MI

Today I gave my students a contract to sign. Under the rules for teacher, there was one rule left blank, so I had the students write a rule in themselves and then I read the contract and signed it.

One wise guy wrote: Rule #5. You will not die.

Later this morning I was teaching one of my larger classes. For two weeks now some students have been pointing to one of their fellow students (a friend) and saying he eats paper ("Teacher---paper eater! Eating paper!"). I just kind of played it off and ignored it since I never actually saw him eat paper. Anyway, at the end of class I asked the students if they were ready for lunch and if they were hungry...and got a resouding 'yes' from all of them. I asked them what they wanted to eat. The class became silent and then the student (mentioned above) timidly said 'paper'.

shawner88 · Joined: 01 Feb 2003

I was visiting Kyung-ju and stayed at Mr. Kwang's Hostel. You may know Mr. Kwang as his hostel was made infamous by Lonely Planet..."10 years ago a man come. Spend 1 month here. Next year business greatly improve." Mr Kwang does a "world famous scorpion show" in the lobby at night....

Anyway, his son runs the norae bang tour bus. At one stop, we climbed up into the hills to see some stone Buddhas. This is Korea and safety standards are slim - there are steep drops and frail railings. While we were there, he told us of how one foreigner years ago backed up to take a better picture and fell right off the cliff and died. He cracked up, laughing so hard as he re-enacted what happened. It was pretty funny to see some of the girls on the tour, their faces turning white and clutching desperately onto rocks and stones as we climbed around after this.

Len8 · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Location: Kyungju

I was s short of cash in the Taegu Area, and tried to get a W10,000 room at a Yoinsook near Taegu railway station. I did find one, and as I proceded to get into bed the aaadjuma said W20,000 for a short time. I was really surprised. She told me she could ring any number of pretty university students to make me happy for a short time. I declined, because I was really short of money. anyway in the course of the evening the door to my room opens and a lady is standing outside offering me her services. She was quite attractive, but I declined again cause I was too tired. I couldn't believe it. I said to myself . "what the hell kind of place ios this"
In the morning as I was leaving I passed another Yoinssok, and a lady in her 30's was standing outside. She was one of the short time ladies who service the place, and good looking too. What happens is that another madam yells "out short time with her what do you think". She was good looking too, but I before I could burst intyo laughter I hurried on my way.

mack the knife · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: standing right behind you...

My wife and I were on our way back from Hong-do when our ship encountered some severe weather. I don't know how high the swells were, but they were high enough to make the ship pitch forward to where you felt like you were about to be forcefully ejected from your seat.

Before leaving the island, we had the temerity to indulge in a small feast of squid, ramen, and orange juice. We then purchased a couple of those "Kimite" patches, assuming that putting them on second before entering the ship would do the trick.

About 15 minutes into the journey (the ship is already being tossed around like a turd in a monkey cage), my wife loses it and fills up her tiny sick bag to the halfway mark. My own eyes were closed (I was trying to meditate, repeating the Bene Gesserit "Litany against fear" again and again), so I had no idea my wife was having a rough time. In fact, when I did take a peek, she seemed to me to be holding things together quite well (actually, she had turned her head away from me so I wouldn't see her green palor).

The gentleman next to me was of the old "sea dog" variety, and I half expected him to yell out "Yah-hoooo!" at some point. Just when I felt like the contents of my gut were somewhere near "under control", another gentleman sitting next to the "sea dog" banged his head against the thick glass window, breaking his nose and immediately spraying blood all over himself. In about 5 seconds time I lost it, and managed to fill my sick bag to the halfway mark as well. While disengaging the hodgepodge of vomitus-inducing ingredients from my gut (and frankly, feeling like somewhat of a p*ssy next to old "sea dog"), I noticed my wife's own little treasure bag, and felt somewhat better (at least I had held out longer than her!!)...

So...15 minutes later and "sea dog" is already sleeping like a baby (no doubt fully disgusted with the two "landlubbers" next to him, not to mention the freak with the blood all over his hands and face)...by the way, no one else around us had lost it at this point (apparently, we were the only fools to a) eat ramen and b) put on our patches as if they were cosmetic, rather than medicinal). Well, about this time my stomach decided it wanted to full-on escape from my miserable body (I having insulted it with ramen for the last time) and proceeded to try its hardest to do so for the next several hours. I have reason to believe my wife's stomach held the same resentment against her. Unfortunately, I quickly filled up my little treasure bag (threw it away in the trash can), and had to resort to sharing my wife's bag. We were not married at the time, but after the experience of sharing the barf-bag, I knew I had to marry this girl...

Well, as you can guess, we eventually filled up her bag as well (there were no spares nearby, by the way, and I was in no shape to crawl up to the captain and beg for more). Just because the bags were used didn't mean my belly was done with his business. Oh no! I felt the tidal wave coming on strong and realized the only way out was to go for the trash can at the front of the cabin. As I stood up the ship pitched sharply, practically dumping my body into the trash can while simultaneously kicking my legs out from under me. So there I was, sprawled out on the floor, violently and quite loudly evacuating into the rubbish. The front row of seats was filled by 6 grandmothers, who ran screaming from the scene of horror which I had produced. They never returned to those seats...

Somehow, the ship eventually made it back to Mok-po, but our adventure was not over yet. While my wife and I collected ourselves (read: alternatively laughed and cried at each other's lime-green palor), a small platoon of cops entered the ship and began a shakedown! Apparently, someone had stolen the ship's fare money (something like 6 million won)...So, with our stomachs in knots already, we endured the cops' brief drilling, then we were finally allowed to disembark onto the dock where our bags were searched. It felt like we were in an earthquake as every edifice was still pitching and rolling, and every orifice was still roaring and ringing...

The moral of the story...

If you have doubts about your commitment to your partner, share a sick-bag with him/her. The bond you create can never be broken...

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

Thank you Mack, for a few minutes of side-splitting laughter. I needed that today!

Thomas · Joined: 25 Mar 2003

A few years ago I was working in Kang kyeong (very rural part of Chungnam) at a local Boy's Middle School. One day while walking by an English class to go to mine, I heard the English Teacher (Korean) say "Listen and Repeat: "My, what a beautiful c*ck"". I was pretty shocked and stopped in to say "Hello" and look at the text. Sure enough, right in the stody "A Trip to Farmer Brown's was the quote "My, what a beautiful c*ck." I felt ashamed for the dirty turn my mind took!

Seatangle · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Left of Center

Just yesterday I tried playing Boggle with a class of middle-school students. It took a few rounds for them to get the hang of it, but finally they realized that if you think something might be a word you should write it down and look it up after the time runs out.

So after the last round they hand their word sheet to me. Right there they had written T-O-K-E. By my laughter and the redness of my face they could tell they had stumbled onto not your everyday English word. They honestly didn't know it was a real word. I tried to explain it even, but they just weren't getting it. Now, I'm afraid one of them will go home and look up the word, and then all the mothers will call and say I'm teaching their kids about drugs or something.

Oh, what the heck, here's one more.

It's also fun whenever I teach adjectives. Invariably, some students will confuse tall and long, as in:

Teacher: Min-jae, what is Sung-su like?
Min-Jae: He is very long.

Len8 · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Location: Kyungju

I was teaching part time at an institute, and was told to sit in another class taught by a Korean English teacher. His dialogue for teaching part way through his lesson was "please repeat three times "fart,fart,fart""
"please repeat three times "it pissed me off
it pissed me off, it pissed me off""
"please repeat three times "s---,s---,s---""
I squirmed in my seat, but their pronounciation was excellent.

jaderedux · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: Lurking outside Seoul

Okie dokie I will finally bite.

I get headaches pretty easy so I usually wear sunglasses when the sun is out....even in the winter....(not at night I am not cory hart..damn I'm old).

Anyhoo, I hail a taxi and the man drives off and keeps looking at me in his rearview mirror....then starts babbling excitedly. Now remember I have been here about 8 weeks when this happened.

At first I thought he didn't understand my destination so I repeated it slowly. That wasn't it...!

Now he is becoming more insistent and reaching back while driving...Shit I think I have come upon a perv...now I am getting mad. Finally I am about to jump out at the next intersection and the guy pulls over and stops, before I can hop out he reaches around and takes my sunglasses off and then proceeds to my destination..... Shocked

I get to work and tell my boss....he is laughing his ass off and says some koreans think you should ONLY wear sunglasses in the summer. You will damage your eyes if you wear sunglasses in the winter. I mentioned that the earth is actually closer to the sun in the winter and he gave me the are you a crazy foreigner or what look. This rates up there with the insidious fan death...yes I will go blind from wearing sunglasses in winter.

Oh by the way there is an exception. You can wear them if you are skiing.

whew!

Jade

Holden · Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Location: Korea

One time when I was on a crowded subway a woman saw me and put her young kid on my lap, without my permission of course, and forced the boy to talk to me in English and me to the boy. It was pretty ridiculous and everyone was staring at me.

Maybe there's something funnier than that, but that's all I can think of.

shawner88 · Joined: 01 Feb 2003

post deleted, oops