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Pooty
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Location: Ela stin agalia mou
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 Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: A girl, a photograph, a homecoming |
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This was a great story, cried a little. Wanted to share. Wife and I have been trying to have children for ten years - I'd love to adopt, but I'm pretty sure that mixed couples can't adopt in Korea based on what I've been told over the years by others who've been through the system.
A girl, a photograph, a homecoming |
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nebraska1
Joined: 06 Jan 2008
Location: Judge, Some people just need killin!
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| comingsoon wrote: |
| Is there a specific law that prohibits mixed couples in your situation from adopting a child? |
Yes there is. If you want to stay in Korea. My husband and I thought about adoption and came up against a brick wall. Since I was a foreigner the only way I could adopt is to adopt and then take the child back to the states. Quite sad actually as we thought it would be cool to adopt then bring up the child in Korea for the most part.
We tried all the reputable agencies and talked to a lawyer. The adoption agencies suggested China or Vietnam IF WE WANTED TO LIVE IN KOREA.
I guess you could adopt then leave and then come back. Also the government only gives help to Korean couples wanting to adopt. Mixed couples are not offered any help to defray costs of adoption.
Korea Sparkling!
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Pooty
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Location: Ela stin agalia mou
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| nebraska1 wrote: |
| comingsoon wrote: |
| Is there a specific law that prohibits mixed couples in your situation from adopting a child? |
Yes there is. If you want to stay in Korea. My husband and I thought about adoption and came up against a brick wall. Since I was a foreigner the only way I could adopt is to adopt and then take the child back to the states. Quite sad actually as we thought it would be cool to adopt then bring up the child in Korea for the most part.
We tried all the reputable agencies and talked to a lawyer. The adoption agencies suggested China or Vietnam IF WE WANTED TO LIVE IN KOREA.
I guess you could adopt then leave and then come back. Also the government only gives help to Korean couples wanting to adopt. Mixed couples are not offered any help to defray costs of adoption.
Korea Sparkling!
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We're leaving in two years. Where would we start with the process? adoption agency? Do you have a ball park figure on the costs involved? |
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valkerie
Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Location: Busan
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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Pooty, have made myself late watching the link. Was worth it though.
Very touching.
Good luck. |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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What a great story. Thanks for sharing.
I'd put money on it being on the big screen in about 18-months. |
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dtown
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Since when is a white guy going into Korea and coercing a man to give his niece to him because said white guy feels that his superior white culture is better suited for raising the child okay? This movie disgusted me and reminded me why I am against international adoption from Korea. I seriously hope that guy was leaving out major details of the story because, wow. If I ever met him on the street it would take all my strength to not kick him in the balls.
Pooty, this is not against you. There are many instances where I support adoption. However, this movie was definitely not one of them. I really do wish you luck on the whole adoption process. If you decide on Korea it will be upwards of $30,000. |
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crsandus
Joined: 05 Oct 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| dtown wrote: |
Since when is a white guy going into Korea and coercing a man to give his niece to him because said white guy feels that his superior white culture is better suited for raising the child okay? This movie disgusted me and reminded me why I am against international adoption from Korea. I seriously hope that guy was leaving out major details of the story because, wow. If I ever met him on the street it would take all my strength to not kick him in the balls.
Pooty, this is not against you. There are many instances where I support adoption. However, this movie was definitely not one of them. I really do wish you luck on the whole adoption process. If you decide on Korea it will be upwards of $30,000. |
From what I saw, the man was first trying to fulfill the wishes of the girl's closest (in terms of bond) relative.
The photographer also had some knowledge on how Amer-Asians were treated (generally poorly from his examples).
The uncle's abode was described as in the poorer neighborhood.
The girl went from being a happy open child to withdrawn at her uncle's. Granted her grandmother just died but I wasn't impressed with the living conditions of the uncle's house.
Finally, the uncle did agree to the adoption. You could say that either he knew what was best for her and agreed with the photographer's argument or just wanted to get rid of her. Either way, he agreed.
Did Natasha end up having a better life after being adopted? Not sure, maybe she would have become very successful and happy in Korea, but it appeared that she did alright in America and that counts for something. I'm not sure about you but if a dying woman's last wish to me, a near stranger, was to adopt her grandchild and give her a new life in America, I'd try to do something about it.
Pooty: Best of luck to you in your quest for adopting a child. |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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| ^^I think that's a bit stong. He hardly held a gun to her Korean uncle's head and told him to give her up or else. You need to ask yourself what kind of opportunities life would have given her had she stayed in Korea. I doubt that her life would have amounted to much given that she had a mixed bloodline. She'd have pretty much remained at the bottom of the social ladder with very little prospect of lifting herself out of it. Also, she was half American and I'm assuming that she had every right to reside in the US. |
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Pooty
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Location: Ela stin agalia mou
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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Natasha got lucky, I've heard of horror stories about adoptees being brought into terrible families, and some of them get brainwashed with some cultist, uber - religious people that hammer them with all kinds of crap...I remember there was a poster on this site 3-4 years ago that told us about his life, can't remember his user id now, but it wasn't a very good situation, and I agree with him. I wouldn't adopt a child from Korea if my wife weren't Korean and couldn't teach the child his background culture and language, and make sure that the child maintained strong ties to his/her roots.
There's a mixed race singer in her 40's here in Korea - she's still hugely popular although she did have a hard life. Times have changed a lot since the 60's and 70's, I don't know what the percentage of Korean orphans that get adopted by Koreans is these days though. Still, Korea remains one of the countries that adopts out children mostly to the USA. |
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dtown
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| BS.Dos. wrote: |
| ^^I think that's a bit stong. He hardly held a gun to her Korean uncle's head and told him to give her up or else. You need to ask yourself what kind of opportunities life would have given her had she stayed in Korea. I doubt that her life would have amounted to much given that she had a mixed bloodline. She'd have pretty much remained at the bottom of the social ladder with very little prospect of lifting herself out of it. Also, she was half American and I'm assuming that she had every right to reside in the US. |
Let�s pretend you live in a trailer park in the hickest, white-trash area of the US. Your little sister goes and gets herself knocked up by some black dude and has a baby that is more black looking than it is white. Your little crack head sister can�t take care of the baby so it is raised by your mother. Your mother dies and you find out that she willed your niece to some rich black family from Nigeria that happened to visit her once and she thought was nice. You have never met this family so you go and get your niece and have her stay with you in your shitty trailer. You don�t have much to offer the girl, but she is your sister�s child and therefore you love her and want the best for her. Eventually the rich black Nigerians show up at your trailer park and demand that you give them your niece because they can offer her a better opportunity at life. They bring along a bunch of black people that experienced racism to yell at you and tell you how shitty their lives are because they grew up black in America. They tell you are unfit for caring for your own niece and they can do a better job. What do you do?
Pooty, you sound like you have actually thought about adoption and everything it implies with a level head, unfortunately there are not enough people that do the same. My parents (white) went through Holt. I believe it is the biggest adoption agency in Korea. Good luck. |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| They tell you are unfit for caring for your own niece |
But they didn't say that. Your also comparing Nigeria to the US, which is hardly the same. In order for your hypothetical scenario to be true, a Nigerian serviceman would have to have been stationed in the US, knocked up a white local girl and then disappeared back Nigeria. You're also suggesting that if this happened, then the child would have had little chance of climbing the US social ladder, something which you imply she would then be able to do in Nigeria, which is questionable. Given her mixed ethnicity I think her chances for a better life were infinitely improved by coming to the US, a place where there isn't such a prevailing sense of racial nationalism as there evidently is in SK. Don't forget that her biological father was American. She had every right to go and live in the US. I understand your feelings from an ethical standpoint, but not from a moral persepective. |
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dtown
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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| BS.Dos. wrote: |
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| They tell you are unfit for caring for your own niece |
But they didn't say that. Your also comparing Nigeria to the US, which is hardly the same. She had every right to go and live in the US. I understand your feelings from an ethical standpoint, but not from a moral persepective. |
We don't know what they said. They got in a big enough altercation that they were kicked out of the restaurant. By asking somebody to give their niece up for adoption you are pretty much implying that they are unfit for caring for her, you don't have to say those words but the meaning's there.
I didn't notice your location so I shouldn't have made the comparison with the US because you're not American. There are people and places in America that are 3rd world, probably even worse. These people have absolutely no chance of climbing any "social ladder" the US may have. They are pretty much doomed for failure as soon as they are born. I find it extremely arrogant of you, and other white people for that matter, who believe they can give babies/children the best opportunity for advancement/happiness in life. You think Western culture is better than Asian or any other culture so therefore it is OK to buy (excuse me I meant adopt) Asian babies. It wouldn't be OK for a rich Nigerian or how about South African? couple to adopt an American baby (even though the Nigerians could economically speaking provide more) because in your mind the Western way of living is so much better than anything else.
The guy made it clear that "Natasha" got along very well with her Korean peers and was a leader in her school. There is no way of knowing if she would have had a hard time once she was an adult.
I never said she didn't have a right to live in the US. The fact that her "father" was an American GI has nothing to do with this. America pretty much believes that anybody can/has the right to be American, it doesn't matter where you are from.
I'm sorry. I just don't get all teary-eyed when I see a girl with living relatives, that are willing to take care of her, being "rescued" by some random ass white people from freaking Atlanta! I'm sorry that I find it creepy that white people go buy babies from different countries and raise them according to their own white/better values. We're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. |
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BS.Dos.
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Then, by your own argument, better for her that she remain in a society where she'd have been racially marginalised for the rest of her life. Like I said, your argument, on ethical grounds at least (she had a family), stands up, but I'm afraid the absence of any moral consideration for her predicament isn't sitting well with me. She was given up for adoption by her legal guardians. What does that tell you about how much they cared for her or how much they could do for her or, for that matter, what was ultimately best for her. Despite this you seem to be suggesting that her korean guardians should have been forced to keep her, which followed through to its natural progression, assumes and denotes a postion that suggests you're opposed to adoption. |
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KumaraKitty
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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I find TED(the website) has some wonderful, interesting talks. I particularly liked the one about teaching crows to use vending machines!
This talk was wonderful as well. I'm glad you posted it. |
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zpeanut
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Location: Pohang, Korea
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:15 am Post subject: |
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That doesn't make sense to me at all.
Can't adopt a Korean child in Korea and raise it there.... wt...??
I bet if you were Angelina Jollie you could. |
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