Korean Job Discussion Forums

[globalgirlk]

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

[bassexpander]

Number 19:

TRY SAYING: My honorable employer, whom I trust and obey has delayed my payment.
INSTEAD OF: That lying sack of sh*t hasn't paid me for 2 months!


Number 20:

TRY SAYING: My employer and I have not, as of yet, enrolled me in a health care program. He treats me so well, but he is so busy.
INSTEAD OF: My dumb-ass boss has been avoiding getting my health insurance for 4 months now.


Number 21:

TRY SAYING: My school requires that I work a little extra time due to the increased costs of electricity and inflation. I am happy to oblige.
INSTEAD OF: Those mother f_____s are making me work more than my contract hours!

[globalgirlk]

*falls off chair laughing*

[semi-fly]

That was f______ hilarious. Thanks!

[bassexpander]

Number 22:

TRY SAYING: My school asks that we not run the air conditioner because energy prices are so high. I certainly understand, and am glad to do what I can to help.
INSTEAD OF: It's 34 freakin' degrees outside, my shirt is soaked, and my f*^$in boss won't let us use the aircon!


Number 23:

TRY SAYING: I'm happy to teach you English if you allow me to smile at you and buy you gifts.
INSTEAD OF: Stupid hoe wants to use me for free English lessons, and won't even let me hold her hand!

[TheUrbanMyth]

Number 24:

TRY SAYING: It appears that we have some contractual issues to work on.

INSTEAD OF: You lying POS, you aren't paying pension, severance or medical insurance.


Number 25:


TRY SAYING: Maybe you missed it, see it's right here...I get five extra days vacation for working in a rural area.

INSTEAD OF: You stupid %$^%$&! We've done this same dance for the last two years...why is it that I have to show you the same bleeping clauses every bleeping time?

[Tobias]

I know this list is just for grins, so don't take this post personally.

Why would you even need 19-25? Any sensible person wouldn't work under those conditions long enough to learn the euphemisms.

My boss hasn't paid me in two months? I think I'll give him the chance to make it three. Why not? He's on a roll.

My boss doesn't pay my medical insurance? No problem. I'll just avoid the risky activity of getting out of bed.

My boss won't allow me to use A/C? No worries. TESOL is all for show anyway, so why be concerned about a classroom issue that is probably affecting the learners' ability to learn? Also, I don't have anything going for me back in my home digs, so I guess I'll just put up with it, dammit!

[Aussiekimchi]

NUMBER 26
TRY SAYING: I've had enough of Korea. I'm going home.
INSTEAD OF: My father/mother/grandparent is ill and I must go home to care for him/her.

NUMBER 27
TRY SAYING: Your child is the dumbest kid I've ever met!
INSTEAD OF: Your child is developing!

NUMBER 28
TRY SAYING: I didn't answer my phone because I was with my real boyfriend.
INSTEAD OF: Sorry, my phone was switched off.

NUMBER 29
TRY SAYING: I'm a racist and avid watcher of Baywatch. I would not hire that teacher in a million years! Find me Pamela!
INSTEAD OF: The parents at this school might get upset if I hired that teacher.

NUMBER 30
TRY SAYING: Korea puzzling
INSTEAD OF: Korea sparkling

[bejarano-korea]

No 31:

Try saying: I'm vegetarian/I have had a big breakfast

Instead of: I'm not eating that shit! Its probably dog!

[hellofaniceguy]

Why not just say....screw you and the horse you rode in on! Your country is nice...but you people are screwed up! I'm outta here to a more civilized country!
I see and hear koreans yelling, cussing and bitching at one another everyday! What...foreigners can't?

[globalgirlk]

Erm...it's a joke and I'm not in Korea yet...so...yeah