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My end-of-honeymoon rant.
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politica



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Suwon-si

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:06 am    Post subject: My end-of-honeymoon rant. Reply with quote

I've been in Korea for a little over three months, and just as friends have warned me, my honeymoon period has officially ended. Don't get me wrong- I love Korea for the most part, I'm glad I'm here, I have a good job, yadda yadda yadda . . .

That being said, there are certain things- shall we say a lot of things- that are start to irritate the piss out of me. A lot of the following will be politically incorrect and culturally insensitive. Read at your own risk because I don't give a *bleep*.

Where to start?

-Ankle-high hosiery are not appropriate for ANY outfit, certainly not mini-skirts.

-Old men- You stink. Do not sit next to me on the bus, or the subway, or at the bank, or ANYWHERE. You stink.

-Mustard does not belong on cheese pizza. Mayonnaise does not belong on fruit. Ketchup does not belong on sushi. Stop bastardizing food, its disgusting.

-The sound of slurping soup makes me feel like I'm in a retirement home and makes me want to vomit.

-I'm not big, YOU ARE SMALL.

-Stop putting sugar in everything. Especially garlic bread. Ick.

-You've been studying English for 10 years, I've been studying Korean for 3 months. Cut me some slack.

-I DO NOT want to watch your Korean dramas. I rarely watch American dramas. So stop asking me.

-Women- Stop fixing your eyelids and start fixing your teeth.

-If you can't read and understand the English on your shirt, you shouldn't be wearing it.

-That's right, I said "Aniyo kimchi."

-Your country IS polluted. Lying is a universal language.

-I'm not Christian. I don't want to read your Christian books. I don't want to meet your Christian friends. And I don't want to go to your church.

-No seriously- I've read the bible cover to cover and I don't believe in Jesus as the son of G-d. And I STILL don't want to come to your church. sheesh . . .

-I'm gay. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want a Korean boyfriend. I really don't want a Korean Christian boyfriend. Give up already.

-Schoolgirls- Much as I love tight clothing on teenage girls (of legal age), you need bigger uniforms.

-Dogs don't need their butts wiped. That's disgusting.

-Yeah, I wear my shoes in my apartment. If you have a problem with it, then don't come in.

-Hiking, rafting, and eating candy are perfectly safe activities.

-My dear co-teacher- I DO wear the same size as you. Stop acting so shocked and get over yourself.

-American cows are not crazy, Korean ajummas are crazy.

-We're all gonna get on the bus, please refrain from elbowing me in the ribs.

-"Sorry" is not an appropriate response for surprising me with a class of 40 3rd graders and no lesson plan.

-Yeah, that's right- I asked about a school event that's a whole TWO WEEKS away. You're right, how could you possibly know the answer?

-When you tell me to do something in English, and then tell me not to do it in Korean, I'm going to do it . . . BECAUSE I DON'T SPEAK KOREAN!

-Yeah, I went hiking this weekend, I'm such a thrill-seeker!

-Women- Muscles are good, bones are not.

-If you're feet are covered in band-aids, you probably shouldn't be wearing those shoes.

Anyone else like to air their frustrations?

[Mod edit]
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tanklor1



Joined: 13 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:47 am    Post subject: Re: My end-of-honeymoon rant. Reply with quote

-Schoolgirls- Much as I love tight clothing on teenage girls (of legal age), you need bigger uniforms.

Now hold on there, let's settle down and try to not get too crazy. All funny bisness aside, Korea can be a little fickle, after all we're crazy people who lived in far off maigcal lands where people do things in a slightly different mannor then what Korean society has been set up these past 3000 or 6000 years to do. Why do old women sit out in the sun selling fruit? Shurgs shoulders "I don't know", Why do people wear terrible English on their clothes that makes little to no sense? "Can't tell you.", Why do respectable bisness men fall alseep on street corners at night, can't they afford a cab? "Again, someone with a higher brain function can comprehend and understand these radical elements to the culture that is deemed "KOREAN" All's I know is that I don't understand half of what I see on a daily basis, if you include the writing on buildings 95%", just sit back, (lay off the school girls) and soak in the craziness. Better to go with the flow, you're not going to change the society.
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Join Me



Joined: 14 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome to Korea. Read your complaints so many times before that it is almost like a nursery rhyme that puts me to sleep. That said, last week walking down the sidewalk some adjuma was holding her dog up in the air by its tail and wiping its arse vigorously. First and last time I want to see that. Absolutely disgusting and every time I walk down that sidewalk now I get the vision all over again.

Now I am wondering if it is possible that Korean adjumas and their desire to wipe the arses of dogs could change the evolution of dogs. Is it possible someday that anyone who owns a pet may have to wipe its arse just because bored obsessive adjumas insisted on wiping their dogs' arses and dogs evolved into needing their arses wiped?

They need to start having more kids in this country again cause I would much rather see adjuma helping little Jun piss into the road then watch her obsessing on a busy street over some little dog's bung hole.


Last edited by Join Me on Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:06 am; edited 2 times in total
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tanklor1



Joined: 13 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Join Me wrote:
Welcome to Korea. Read your complaints so many times before that it is almost like a nursery rhyme that puts me to sleep. That said, last week walking down the sidewalk some adjuma was holding her dog up in the air by its tail and wiping its arse vigorously. First and last time I want to see that. Absolutely disgusting and every time I walk down that sidewalk now I get the vision all over again.


Wow! I wonder if that counts as beastility? Just askin'
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Faunaki



Joined: 15 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give yourself a few months and you'll be pushing like the best of them and laying into western women for not starving and cutting themselves. Get out while you can.
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ciccone_youth



Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yea i think most of us all got that phase, I had mine after 2-3 months of my arrival.

Then one day it sort of goes away, you still know it's around you but it doesn't bother you as much. You'll see.

At least that's what happened to me.
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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, before the haters hit this thread telling you you're racist, closed minded, etc.... I'll throw in my own milder bitchfest (been here a year and a half now.)

I just got back from a school sponsored sojourn in my hometown, and although I think enough of my school to stay here one more year, I finally put my finger on why I haven't made many Korean friends in my time served here. (With two exceptions: my only two true Korean friends are a woman who lived in Canada for 5 years and can thus relate to how isolated I feel making the cultural switch in reverse and a half-American Korean citizen who's completely bicultural.)

Anyway, I went back to my hometown. In Korea I am, in spite of being a foreigner, a social "have". I'm well respected and valued in the community where I work as a public school teacher. Parents give me gifts, students idolize me, and in spite of a few contractual disputes, the entire faculty values me and treats me like an equal.

In The Old Country I was a social "have not". I was frequently unemployed, intermittently homeless, and generally prone to picking fights and causing trouble. Most of my employers treated me as an extremely disposable "resource". In my tiny hometown, exactly what kind of loser I was/am is pretty common knowledge.

But spending three weeks back in my hometown, I realized that I'm treated well by almost everyone there. These people treat me well in spite of my bad behavior because I've done a lot of nice things for them personally. Likewise, the handful of people who treat me badly do so because I've genuinely wronged them. I've picked fights with them, or evaded their attempts to "catch me in the act" of my general misdeeds, then gotten cocky about it. I earned every friend and every enemy I have fair and square.

Koreans, on the other hand, love me or hate me for the most superficial reasons. My co-workers, students and PTA like me because I'm clean cut, conservative in much of my personal morality (not much for drinking, drugging or one night stands) and inadvertently live up to some Confucian ideal I don't personally buy into. I am certain that if these people knew what kind of person I used to be, they would turn on me. It wouldn't matter how hard I've worked for them or how nice I am to them, all that matters is their superficial notion of me as a "good citizen".

On the flip side there are Koreans who hate me simply because I'm foreign. They don't care how polite I am, how well dressed I am, how willing I am to show kindness to their fellow Koreans. They'll still refuse me service in their bars and restaurants and swear and spit at me if they see me walking down the street with a Korean young woman.

Nearly every Korean "friend" I make is a fake friend. Whenever I anger a Korean, their angry at me about things I can't control.

Mind you, it's not the end of the world. I'm paid better than I've ever been paid in the U.S. teaching is the most rewarding thing I've ever done for a living. And being able to make it here, as daunting as it sometimes feels, has given me self respect and self confidence, two things I've never really had much of.

So that's my bitching. I feel you on a lot of the other stuff though politica. You'll never get used to the most obnoxious things you encounter and there's no reason you should. But rest assured you'll be able to detach yourself from a lot of the littler annoyances and just find them amusing.
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CeleryMan



Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

-I'm not big, YOU ARE SMALL.

HILARIOUS ... SO CARLIN-LIKE!!
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milspecs



Joined: 19 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

what compels a person to sit at home, get on the internet and compile a list of things they hate about the country they live in.

its sad really.
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Passions



Joined: 31 May 2006

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like someone needs to return to Hicksville, Oklahoma.

Last edited by Passions on Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:03 am; edited 2 times in total
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A2Steve



Joined: 10 Nov 2007

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:01 am    Post subject: Re: My end-of-honeymoon rant. Reply with quote

politica wrote:


-Ankle-high hosiery are not appropriate for ANY outfit, certainly not mini-skirts....

...

-I'm not big, YOU ARE SMALL.





The important thing is that YOU believe it. Has anyone ever accused you of being the love child of Jo Polnachek from the facts of life?

some might say ANY hosiery is appropriate for the mini skirt. or conversely NO hosiery is even more acceptable. Wink

Lord knows I've heard more than one American/Western woman harbor more than a bit of jealousy toward their Asian sisters. All I can say is, on my flight over, I look SOO forward to getting off that Northwest/Continental/whatever else airline and onto the Korean Air flight, where stewardesses... sorry, FLIGHT ATTENDANTS, are slight and demure, and ready to pour the green tea with abandon. It's like my own personal scene from CATCH ME IF YOU CAN... Laughing
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Kikomom



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is good Politica. Darn tootin' funny good.

milspecs wrote:
what compels a person to sit at home, get on the internet and compile a list of things they hate about the country they live in.

Because, Milspecs, it's a healthy emotional outlet to compose your thoughts and let them loose on the world in a truthful manner such as this. Some people put it in journals and hide it away. But when you know what you have to say will cheer another soul, you do it this way. (that's why there's no escaping Mamakiko's seastories)

But this...

Join Me wrote:

Now I am wondering if it is possible that Korean adjumas and their desire to wipe the arses of dogs could change the evolution of dogs. Is it possible someday that anyone who owns a pet may have to wipe its arse just because bored obsessive adjumas insisted on wiping their dogs' arses and dogs evolved into needing their arses wiped?


That thought is just plain wicked! Twisted Evil
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moosehead



Joined: 05 May 2007

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Women- Muscles are good, bones are not.


my students have cheered me many times especially the boys when I raise my arms and say "I am a STRONG teacher"

some of these women look like they'd flop over like matchsticks if a strong breeze ever blew their way - maybe they do! Laughing Laughing
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Kikomom



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe they're staying skinny so they can continue to wear the same ill-fitting clothes/uniforms? Get their use of it? Maybe some can't afford new ones? Or are wearing hand-me-downs.

Smallness might be a badge of frugality (however misconceived), or they're poor and that's all they have.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A good list.

Quote:

Schoolgirls- Much as I love tight clothing on teenage girls (of legal age), you need bigger uniforms.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600outgrow.jpg

Yeah. Parents don't count on their daughters growing boobs after grade 9.

Quote:
-Women- Muscles are good, bones are not.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600majorscar.jpg

I do like this woman. "Screw the massive keloid scar. It's summer and I'm hot."

Of course if you're packing it on, go for the healthy lady meal:

http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600healthlady.jpg

Quote:
-If you're feet are covered in band-aids, you probably shouldn't be wearing those shoes.


If I live a thousand years I'll never figure out a) how this woman got two bruises on each leg around the same spot b) why she doesn't wear longer pants or a longer skirt until the bruising goes away.

http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600bashedlegs.jpg

Quote:
-I'm not Christian. I don't want to read your Christian books. I don't want to meet your Christian friends. And I don't want to go to your church.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600threejesus2.jpg
http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600demaphobe.jpg

I wish fiveeagles, junior, etc could just explain to these guys they're giving christians a bad name.

Quote:

-I'm not big, YOU ARE SMALL.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600tthisbig2.jpg

He's big. His tshirt says so.

Quote:
Stop putting sugar in everything. Especially garlic bread. Ick.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600sugarcone.jpg
http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/sauspast.jpg


You mean you don't like pasta in your sugar waffle cone?
Quote:

-Your country IS polluted. Lying is a universal language.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600garbagetree.jpg

Only in Korea could they come up with the idea for a garbage tree.

http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/trashbypopularacclaimImage.jpg

But mostly it's just trash by public acclaim.


Quote:
-Ankle-high hosiery are not appropriate for ANY outfit, certainly not mini-skirts.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/junoaqxmgge7.jpg

I for one have no problem with this look.

Quote:
-American cows are not crazy, Korean ajummas are crazy.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/ajuma2.jpg

They go crazy from sun stroke. This ajumma thinks this is a good way to dress when it's 90f and high humidity.

Quote:
If you can't read and understand the English on your shirt, you shouldn't be wearing it.


http://www.gokorea.info/rndimg/600toodrunk.jpg

Yes, not all english on your kid's tshirt will be useful english he should get his teacher to translate for him.


Last edited by mindmetoo on Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:13 pm; edited 2 times in total
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