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potblackettle
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: South Korea
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 Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject: Baby Groping |
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I'm seriously tired of ajumas pinching my son's cheeks, grabbing his hands and, no lie, watching while I change his diaper and commenting on his genitalia...
I say "mangeegeemasayo" so much I feel like I should have it tattoed on my forehead to save time.
I mean... I don't see Korean babies being squeezed and prodded like they're going to be cooked for dinner!
Ok,rant over. |
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The Grumpy Senator
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Location: Up and down the 6 line
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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I go through the same thing!!! It seems that the little one is some kind of interactive exhibit sometimes!!
The best thing to do is smile and after saying "Please do not touch" throw in a "the baby is sick" (a-gi-a a-po-yo).
I read many fatherhood books while my wife was pregnant and it warned against women (especially the older generation) coming over and telling the man how to care for the baby. The writer then explained that most societies have not gotten used to the fact that men can and do care for their children now.
As a mixed child, there is curiosity. I agree it can get annoying, but just try to laugh it off and try not to get stressed infront of your kid. |
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Whistleblower
Joined: 03 Feb 2007
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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Whenever there are glaring eyes from some older Koreans, I always like to embarrass them by asking:
뭐 봐요?
It is simple and potrays enough. |
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Pooty
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Location: Ela stin agalia mou
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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I can't understand how you would let them come within a foot of your baby. I'd be blocking them in a not so nice way if I were in your shoes.
But then again, I can be pretty agressive when it comes to stuff like that...carry on.
Whe chodaba or 왜 쳐다봐 - hits home a little harder  |
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Freakstar
Joined: 29 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:01 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| potblackettle wrote: |
I'm seriously tired of ajumas pinching my son's cheeks, grabbing his hands and, no lie, watching while I change his diaper and commenting on his genitalia...
I say "mangeegeemasayo" so much I feel like I should have it tattoed on my forehead to save time.
I mean... I don't see Korean babies being squeezed and prodded like they're going to be cooked for dinner!
Ok,rant over. |
Koreans love to comment on babies' genitalia, especially if the baby is a boy. I remember when my cousin's son was born, my mother and all my aunts would constantly fuss over his 고추 or "gochu." While I understand your annoyance, try not to let it bother you too much. They don't mean any harm. Though I'd also be wary of germ-carrying, grubby ajumma hands.
And you're wrong...Korean babies constantly get squeezed, pinched and prodded as well....though your baby (I'm assuming that your son is half Korean) probably draws a little more attention. |
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Frankly Mr Shankly
Joined: 13 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:19 am Post subject: |
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I raised a fist to a bunch of highschoolers on a bus who couldn't keep their shit-stained mitts off my kid when I had him in the sling one day. Seems that some people here think it's their god-given right to touch any baby.  |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:36 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| Freakstar wrote: |
Koreans love to comment on babies' genitalia, especially if the baby is a boy. I remember when my cousin's son was born, my mother and all my aunts would constantly fuss over his "gochu." While I understand your annoyance, try not to let it bother you too much. They don't mean any harm. |
you need to wake up and learn more about this culture - not to mention childhood sexual abuse - try your google and "csa" "boys" and see how many links come up
dating back into Confucianism (sp?) worship of the p*nis was rampant and is still extremely popular - especially from pre-adolescent boys. It's thought to bestow sexual stamina and strength on both men AND women - as well as increase libido and general sexual ability.
No, do NOT let anyone make motions towards your child in ANY way that makes you uncomfortable - if it feels wrong, then that's enough to say "no."
as the child grows up, teach them the same thing.
Protect your child first, worry about people's feelings and egos, second. |
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bacasper
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:49 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| Freakstar wrote: |
Koreans love to comment on babies' genitalia, especially if the baby is a boy. I remember when my cousin's son was born, my mother and all my aunts would constantly fuss over his 고추 or "gochu." While I understand your annoyance, try not to let it bother you too much. They don't mean any harm. Though I'd also be wary of germ-carrying, grubby ajumma hands.
And you're wrong...Korean babies constantly get squeezed, pinched and prodded as well....though your baby (I'm assuming that your son is half Korean) probably draws a little more attention. |
I'm with you all the way on this. It is just not a big deal unless you make it one.
The child sex abuse comment here is way off base. The number of such cases involving babies is so miniscule as to be essentially insignificant. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:02 am Post subject: |
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I think the baby's personality is the key factor here. If he doesn't mind strangers touching and cooing over him, then I don't see a problem. Although I'm sure I'd limit the number of people doing it in one day. Nothing wrong with a white lie about him being sick when the 10th person in the block comes up to have a peek.
I do think the poster who said the ajummas' intentions should be taken in to account was correct. They are being friendly and welcoming.
Babies pick up subtle hints from parents. As a parent I'd think long and hard about the Western attitudes about strangers and sexuality and decide how I felt about that--hang ups or reasonable concerns, and then shape my behavior to reflect those beliefs. |
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Freakstar
Joined: 29 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:16 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| Freakstar wrote: |
Koreans love to comment on babies' genitalia, especially if the baby is a boy. I remember when my cousin's son was born, my mother and all my aunts would constantly fuss over his "gochu." While I understand your annoyance, try not to let it bother you too much. They don't mean any harm. |
| moosehead wrote: |
| you need to wake up and learn more about this culture - not to mention childhood sexual abuse - try your google and "csa" "boys" and see how many links come up |
Uh, trust me...I know more about "this culture" than you do. Does sexual abuse of children occur in Korea? I'm sure it does. But a buncha ajummas fussing over a baby does not constitute sexual abuse. 
| moosehead wrote: |
| Protect your child first, worry about people's feelings and egos, second. |
You are overreacting. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:18 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| bacasper wrote: |
[quote="Freakstar" ]
The child sex abuse comment here is way off base. The number of such cases involving babies is so miniscule as to be essentially insignificant. |
you're quite mistaken there and totally ignorant of the facts.
try www.malesurvivor.org and read some of the survivor stories, if you've got the courage, that is. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:21 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| Freakstar wrote: |
| Freakstar wrote: |
Koreans love to comment on babies' genitalia, especially if the baby is a boy. I remember when my cousin's son was born, my mother and all my aunts would constantly fuss over his "gochu." While I understand your annoyance, try not to let it bother you too much. They don't mean any harm. |
| moosehead wrote: |
| you need to wake up and learn more about this culture - not to mention childhood sexual abuse - try your google and "csa" "boys" and see how many links come up |
Uh, trust me...I know more about "this culture" than you do. Does sexual abuse of children occur in Korea? I'm sure it does. But a buncha ajummas fussing over a baby does not constitute sexual abuse.
| moosehead wrote: |
| Protect your child first, worry about people's feelings and egos, second. |
You are overreacting. |
let's see - someone who is downplaying childhood sexual abuse is saying "trust me" - hmmm what's wrong with this picture??
moreover, there are many who would agree overreacting is better than under any day of the week when it comes to childhood sexual abuse.
it is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry.
people who downplay the necessity of being safe are either ignorant or complicit.
which are you? |
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Freakstar
Joined: 29 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:38 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| moosehead wrote: |
[quote="Freakstar" ]
| moosehead wrote: |
| Protect your child first, worry about people's feelings and egos, second. |
[quote="Freakstar" ]
You are overreacting. |
[/quote]
there are many who would agree overreacting is better than under any day of the week when it comes to childhood sexual abuse.
it is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry.
people who downplay the necessity of being safe are either ignorant or complicit.
which are you?[/quote]
I'm neither ignorant nor complicit in this case. While I don't mind arguing with people here on Dave's who can intelligently argue their points, you're really not worth my time, so don't expect another reply to any of your counterarguments. For the record, we are discussing the tendency of Korean ajummas to fawn over other people's babies to the point where some people, such as the OP, feel as if these women are being intrusive. We're not even talking about childhood sexual abuse here. |
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bacasper
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:10 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| moosehead wrote: |
| bacasper wrote: |
[quote="Freakstar" ]
The child sex abuse comment here is way off base. The number of such cases involving babies is so miniscule as to be essentially insignificant. |
you're quite mistaken there and totally ignorant of the facts.
try www.malesurvivor.org and read some of the survivor stories, if you've got the courage, that is. |
I found NO survivor stories at the link you gave, and certainly none involving infants.
The US Bureau of Justice Statistics, however, reports 0.4% infant victims of all forms of sexual assault. A significant portion of those involve psychotic mothers. That you'd get bent out of shape over your typical ajuma admiring your baby borders on the paranoid psychotic as well.
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let's see - someone who is downplaying childhood sexual abuse is saying "trust me" - hmmm what's wrong with this picture?? ...
people who downplay the necessity of being safe are either ignorant or complicit.
which are you?
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Even though I was not the intended recipient, your ped-baiting is way over the line here and quite repulsive. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:42 am Post subject: Re: Baby Groping |
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| bacasper wrote: |
| moosehead wrote: |
| bacasper wrote: |
[quote="Freakstar" ]
The child sex abuse comment here is way off base. The number of such cases involving babies is so miniscule as to be essentially insignificant. |
you're quite mistaken there and totally ignorant of the facts.
try www.malesurvivor.org and read some of the survivor stories, if you've got the courage, that is. |
I found NO survivor stories at the link you gave, and certainly none involving infants.
The US Bureau of Justice Statistics, however, reports 0.4% infant victims of all forms of sexual assault. A significant portion of those involve psychotic mothers. That you'd get bent out of shape over your typical ajuma admiring your baby borders on the paranoid psychotic as well.
| Quote: |
let's see - someone who is downplaying childhood sexual abuse is saying "trust me" - hmmm what's wrong with this picture?? ...
people who downplay the necessity of being safe are either ignorant or complicit.
which are you?
|
Even though I was not the intended recipient, your ped-baiting is way over the line here and quite repulsive. |
did you even get past the first page? or was that too much trouble?
try the discussion board link - it's where survivor post their stories.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=6&page=1 |
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