Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Scotticus]

[Yaya]

This post is such a righteous Western Christian rant.

[Faunaki]

This is what my khusband said upon marrying me - I"m glad I get to marry someone I like. My mom was really pushing me to get married and setting me up with all of these girls but I didn't like any of them.

Basically he was gonna have to get married even if he didn't like the girl.

[Yaya]

[Tiger Beer]

[sojusucks]

I noticed that IncognitoHFX mentioned East Asians in addition to Koreans.

I happen to know of a few interracial couples including a Western individual and an Eastern Asian individual (i.e. Chinese). These unions have been between people with higher degrees (bachelors or higher).

Now, I have seen (this is in Korea) an old Western man walking down the street holding his Korean girlfriend's hand, while accompanied with a few Korean gentlemen. Is this a scene resulting from internet dating?

I know it's possible to have unions that are based less upon finance. Those of you who have first-hand knowledge, please continue to share your experiences and help us come to some sort of conclusion.

Oh, could some address the difference between being the Western woman vs. man in a relationship with a Korean or other Eastern Asian?

[rebel_1812]

I hear everything on this board. It might be true. I can't say I have talked to many koreans about infidality. There are alot of love motels here. Those places are there for the purpose of sex when you still live at you parents house (which can be long here) or cheating on your girlfriend/wife. But on the other hand, every girl I've been with here was super tight. Which of course means she hasn't been with many guys. So I'm not sure if there is much cheating going on. The girl I am with right now is superconservative, timid and shy. I have trouble picturing her juggling 3 guys at once.

[RJjr]

[Scotticus]

[Donghae]

Interesting (and so far surprisingly sensible) thread. Xingyiman and ruraljuror were pretty much spot on with the way they summed up marriage in Korea on the first page. Although I'd say it's important to point out that not ALL couple's marriages are like this - very many, yes, but all, no.

A few people have mentioned Korean parents opposing their daughter's marriage to a foreigner. Obviously this does happen, but it's often a much more complex issue than many people realise and isn't just irrational xenophobia per se. For a start, it's worth remembering that many potential Korean son-in-laws are also rejected by the girl's parents. Korean parents tend to judge by what they think will work out as the most stable option in the long term. There are some who think (perhaps wrongly, but understandably nevertheless) that a marriage to a foreigner will end in divorce as "foreigners get divorced more often than we do". There is often also the worry that potential mixed race children may face difficulties growing up in a mostly homogenous society. Of course, there are the concerns about financial security as well - often the reason why many Korean boyfriends don't get the parental approval.

As this thread was about East Asia, let me add a Japanese angle .It's not exactly the same but is a fairly similar situation in Japan. Love hotels abound over here for the same reason that motels do in Korea. Lots of married couples actually sleep in separate rooms as there's no reason why they'd have sex again (with each other, I mean!) after they've finished having kids. I believe it used to be quite openly encouraged (although perhaps not in the way we'd expect such encouragement) for men working in government departments and larger comapanies to regularly sleep around as this was seen as in the wider company interest, being the kind of recreation that would keep them on top of their work (pun only half intended!).

Since I've been in Japan, I've known about 15 Korean/Japanese married couples. About two-thirds of these faced parental objection. Interestingly, in all these cases that I've personally known, that parental objection came from the Japanese parents, NOT the Korean ones. Given the history of the first half of last century, this surprised me that no Korean parents were objecting to a Japanese son/daughter-in-law, although I know there must be some who do. I've discussed this with a few Koreans I know well and the general feeling is that (a) a Japanese son-in-law is seen as likely to be financially stable and (b) the grandkids won't get bullied because they stick out as mixed race kids.

The Japanese objections didn't surprise me that much, because they are some Japanese, particularly the older and more conservative, who although they won't show it openly much, do very much despise and have contempt for anything Korean and would find it quite humiliating to have their family "tainted". In fact, I have one Japanese friend whose girlfriend, now wife, was born in Japan to parents also born in Japan, but her grandparents came from Korea during the colonial period. Her parents took Japanese nationality before she was born, so she's never been anything other than Japanese, legally speaking. She neither speaks a word of Korean nor has she ever been to Korea. But when my mate's parents found out about her "Korean" background a few months before their planned wedding, they immediately withdrew their approval and told him he had to marry someone else. To his credit, IMO, he told them he'd been with her for 2 years and was marrying who he wanted and they could accept it or fck off. And unfortunately, now 5 years later, they will still have nothing to do with him.

I've known of Japanese parents objecting to other nationalities (western ones), but in all the cases I've known of, none that didn't at least grudgingly accept it in the end.

[Konglishman]

I do not have the link to the article, but due to the Korean wave, I heard that there are dating services that help Japanese girls meet the Korean boyfriend of their dreams.

[nautilus]

[samd]

[zpeanut]

[browneyedgirl]