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An EXPOSE': Korean Etiquette, Cuisine, Fashion & Style
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jkelly80

Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Location: you boys like mexico?

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject:

Pyongshin Sangja wrote:

I hate some Korean restaurants, with the snotty napkins on the floor and the cockroaches. It's almost like I'm in hell or something.

I imagine you saying that out loud to yourself when you sit down.

mindmetoo

Joined: 02 Feb 2004

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: Re: An EXPOSE': Korean Etiquette, Cuisine, Fashion & Sty

R-Seoul wrote:

mindmetoo wrote:

Draz wrote:

desperation wrote:

And why buy new high heels when you can walk on the ankle straps of the dirtiest ones you have?

Every time I'm in Seoul I stare at women's feet on the subway and wonder wtf.

I always wished I had a foot fetish in Seoul.

[url] www.feetmanseoul.com [/url] brought to you by none other than the man behind scribblings of the metropolitician.

He kind of got away from the foot fetish thing early (he fully admits it started off as a kind of fetish thing) and morphed into street fashions. A great idea, regardless. He's getting invited to some fashion events. Getting to spend a night eating finger foods and hob nob with models is pretty cool.

Gatsby

Joined: 09 Feb 2007

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject:

Korea: The mark of true class is being able to laugh at a joke about yourself.

desperation

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Those who know, won't say and those who say, don't know. Welcome to Dave's !

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:47 pm Post subject:

HELLO!!!!!!!! This topic is not about baseball teams!! This is about cutting-edge Korean fashion and manners....and food. TRY to be relevant. Thanks Darlings!

mindmetoo

Joined: 02 Feb 2004

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:52 am Post subject:

desperation wrote:

HELLO!!!!!!!! This topic is not about baseball teams!! This is about cutting-edge Korean fashion and manners....and food. TRY to be relevant. Thanks Darlings!

C'mon.

desperation

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Those who know, won't say and those who say, don't know. Welcome to Dave's !

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:54 am Post subject:

Wow 3 pages! Yay!

desperation

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Those who know, won't say and those who say, don't know. Welcome to Dave's !

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject:

Don't let this topic diiiieeeee.....

R-Seoul

Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Location: your place

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:55 pm Post subject: Re: An EXPOSE': Korean Etiquette, Cuisine, Fashion & Sty

mindmetoo wrote:

R-Seoul wrote:

mindmetoo wrote:

Draz wrote:

desperation wrote:

And why buy new high heels when you can walk on the ankle straps of the dirtiest ones you have?

Every time I'm in Seoul I stare at women's feet on the subway and wonder wtf.

I always wished I had a foot fetish in Seoul.

[url] www.feetmanseoul.com [/url] brought to you by none other than the man behind scribblings of the metropolitician.

Yeah I know, it was so much better when he was secretly trying to take pics of girls feet on buses. The site has really gone downhill, I should have told him when I randomly bumped into him in itaewon the other week...

Guri Guy

Joined: 07 Sep 2003
Location: Bamboo Island

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject:

Quote:

August 15, 2008
Crap, Crap, Crap!

Was out and shooting, when some random cart handle in Seoul Station veritably reached into my bag and pulled the camera out by its strap and seemingly threw it onto the ground.

Plasticky crash, thud, tumble, tumble later, my prime lens (Canon 10-22 EFS) had a crushed filter (it took most of the hit) and the lens moves funny. It has to be looked at. But the glass seems to be fine. Still, I think she's in critical condition. At least my new 40D seems to be OK. That'd be all I needed now.

Apparently some people don't like him taking random pictures of women. Probably some insecure loser was responsible in my opinion.

http://metropolitician.blogs.com/scribblings_of_the_metrop/

Lao Wai

Joined: 01 Aug 2005
Location: East Coast Canada

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:54 am Post subject: Re: An EXPOSE': Korean Etiquette, Cuisine, Fashion & Sty

desperation wrote:

Hello everyone. As someone fluent in both Korean and English I decided to grab a random copy of Korea's premier fashion and lifestyle magazine "NOBLESSE" and translate the "Trends" section. I hope you find it interesting. I know I did!

Refined Modern Social Etiquette

Any conversation with another person should be seen as an opportunity to squeal and whine, in ever increasing huffiness.

A photo without the peace sign, is just tacky. While nobody knows why the peace sign is so alluring, nor why it is called �Kim chi�� it is apparently as obligatory as that food staple, so don�t dare to question it. If you want to be sexy, just do it.

Never drink any beverage with a cost of $3 or more, without several photos to document the purchase. The correct pose is an intent seductive stare with the cup poised and tipped, about an inch below the nose. Or the bashful mug next to the cheek with a cocked head and smirk, is still in very much vogue.

Never go anywhere even the least bit scenic without immediately upon arrival, commencing a half hour photo session of yourself in the foreground. Once the optimum image has been captured, leave the scene.

Ladies-- homemade self portraits for internet usage are the perfect time to hug a teddy bear.

A quick one stroke, Left Eye Lopez �inspired; photoshopped; pink, yellow, or blue under eye/cheekbone graffiti is the perfect way to show your sex appeal. If you feel daring, add a small heart to the opposite cheek. In this case (and many others) it�s a good idea to puff out your cheeks like a goldfish holding its breath. It�s ravenous. Boys, you too can try this look. It is equally as fetching for men. Unlike a teddy bear which is clearly ladies� territory exclusively.

When food is served, one must morosely churn the assorted ingredients so that the obligatory red sauce is equally distributed. Never eat foods unmixed. And if there is a soup (hopefully a communal bowl) make sure to place some food from another plate (maybe even another person�s plate) onto your spoon and then dip that heaping mess into the soup. When consuming this concoction, bear your teeth and snarl your lips as you do. Add a slurp, for dramatic effect.

Spoons are really small shovels, don�t you agree? Hold it with a fist and hunch over it, in order to obstruct the view of coveting eyes.

Eye contact and conversation during meals is not attractive. Communication is best done indirectly via a stylish slow smacking of one�s cheeks and lips, the gnashing together of teeth, and lolling the tongue around the mouth (particularly the roof). Table-side demeanor should be intense and compulsive. Preening is the only acceptable diversion, so do try to keep a large hand mirror or reflective cell phone on hand for check ups.

Culinary Tips

Cookware�2 Words: Aluminum & Teflon!
Alzheimer�s and cancer never tasted so good!

Appetizers and side dishes must be served on white bowls and dishes and main meals must be served on black bowls and dishes. Deviation can be disastrous and embarrassing.

This season, restaurants are keeping the fare simple. And by �simple� I mean unseasoned dirt cheap ingredients. Appetizers like bread, butter and salad are so 1950�s. Instead, why not try some yellow #5 vinegared radish slices and raw onion bits with diarrhea consume for dipping?

Garnish can always be tricky but Korea�s best chefs are throwing caution to the wind this year and topping any mound of cheap unflavored ingredients with an un-refrigerated egg (any style). Bringing the hearty woodsy and citrus robust flavors of an egg, along with the health benefits of salmonella to the table�is something everyone can appreciate. It's to die from!

Keep herbs and spices where they belong�..out of food. There are plenty of indistinguishable varieties of thick salty pungent red hot sauce to choose from, so pick one and go to town! Live a little! It�s delicious!

Aside from the staple (red sauce), saliva makes a wonderful condiment. Try to share one small bowl of soup among an entire table of diners. Also make sure to put your chopsticks into every plate on the table. This is a gracious gesture that invites everyone else to do the same!

Scissors make better knives, and when using them for Gabi, be sure to touch both raw and cooked pork with the same scissors. This is also true for the tongs. And never fully cook the pork. Any char-broiling done on the �BBQ� is considered uncivilized and gauche.

Fashion Forward

A must-have for any wardrobe, is an original Mickey and friends character shirt. Snow White, Little Mermaid, Pooh, etc. are not attractive. Think Minnie, Mickey and Goofy exclusively. Nothing says �Take me home tonight.� like this playful icon. Smurfs were in for a hot minute but their time has passed like Charlie Brown and the Peanuts of last year. The coming year will be big for the �Muppets� and the �Muppet Babies�. You heard it here first!

Young casual wear tops with wide horizontal stripes of two colors: Black and any other color are still red hot this season. For a bold statement, layer the look with different colors (with fat horizontal black stripes). Think �vertigo�! Make sure one of the striped layers is a t-shirt with a hood-- the crucial ingredient for pulling off this look successfully.

Speaking of stripes: The hottest thing in men�s work wear/formal wear this season is mismatched thin vertical stripes. You�ll want slacks of one variety, a long or short sleeved dress shirt (wide boxy cut with epaulets) of another variety, and a tie of a completely other type. Just remember to keep the stripes thin and vertical. Three or more mismatched stripe patterns is the way to say, �I pay attention to detail, I�m conscientious.� Shark skin suits are no longer fashion forward. Your father can still wear them but they are not for those of us that like to keep current.

This summer�s hottest accessories are going to be #1 black rimmed glasses (any style), with no lenses whatsoever in them. And #2 a large expensive camera hung at waist length, worn on the hip, with a bold wide statement-making strap over the shoulder. These accessories are not meant to be used. It�s all about their uselessness. Next season look for the laptop bag to return (without the laptops again). Fashion conscious people never tire of looking capable.

The sexiest thing in young men�s casual bottoms this summer is 2 exciting varieties of shorts! You can have either the huge shapeless (sweatshirt material) nautical gauge drawstring style. Or you can have the less baggy cargo style. Top off the look with a jute (raw hemp) fedora or bowler hat in earth tones. Or try a sweatshirt material hat with symmetrical razor blade cuts, for that carefree reckless look.

For boys and girls, but especially boys; dirty white converse sneakers paired with Ethiopia cut jeans are still very much in vogue. For a fresh summer twist, fold the cuffs upward for that Capri pant sex appeal.

Ladies, clear plastic bra straps are completely invisible, and a must-have for this summer. And why buy new high heels when you can walk on the ankle straps of the dirtiest ones you have? Grunge is back for footwear ladies. It�s fierce! And ladies, if you can find a very cheaply made baseball hat with anything at all written in English, wear it! Trust me.

All this talk of sweatshirt fabric reminds me that this fall, ginormously hooded sweatshirts with very low necklines are coming back for young men. They came onto the scene at the end of last season and will be back with a vengeance this time around. The hood should drape liberally in piles upon the shoulders. The hairless chest should be unobstructed by any fabric. This is not the outfit to wear your Peter O�Toole �Lawrence of Arabia� hound�s-tooth neckerchief. These sweatshirts will again feature the timeless nautical gauge drawstring sewn into both the neck, and the knee-length hem.

Hair Care

When visiting your favorite salon, remember that bangs are a must. Furthermore, it is advisable that you have your bangs gradually increase in length as they spread away from the center of your forehead. The goal should be an arc from neckline length bangs on the temples to any length above the eyebrows on the forehead. Keep the sides short because you�ll need Dr. Spock pointed sideburns that reach your cheeks. This is a style that is high maintenance. Although the hair never moves, you�ll need to carry a large mirror (the fold-open countertop type is best) because you�ll need to periodically preen yourself. Swat and smooth your bangs and side-points to your left, then back again to the right. Always go from left then back to the right, to their original position. Finish the deed with a pouty puffed-out cheek look, into the mirror and put it away with a sigh-- feeling unsatisfied. The goal is to have your hair look exactly as it did before you touched it.

Sometimes a professionally created hair dye change can be too much fuss. For a little more fun without the hefty price, split a bottle of blond hair bleach with a close friend or lover. This way, you can both have matching mammoth colored hair as opposed to you actually accomplishing blond, by using the full bottle. Being unique is never advisable so this is a perfect way to look cool as a couple. Remember: Same-same is the name of the game!

If you�re the mother of a young boy, this weekend is the perfect time to perm yourselves at home isn�t it?

I'm sorry, I had fun in Korea, and I like Koreans but.....I thought this 'commentary' was hilarious. Every sentence brought a smile to my face as I could remember making similar comments when I lived in Korea. I particularly like the last sentence.

Besides, I have a friend of mine who has recently been in Canada visiting family while on his vacation (He teaches in Korea). I get a running commentary from him about all of the 'fatties' that are in his hometown now. His snobbery is not country specific.

aka Dave

Joined: 02 May 2008
Location: Down by the river

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:12 am Post subject:

Huh Kyung-young wrote:

aka Dave wrote:

But I don't get Detroit. They're not that good, haven't been in a long time, and what city is more dreary than Detroit? It seems totally random.

They were in the World Series in 2006.

They narrowly missed the playoffs last year (and broke attendance records that were set in their 1984 World Series-winning year).

They're looking promising this year.

So, um.... what are you talking about?

허경영

They spent a ton on free agents. And they still suck this year. And IT"S still fricking Detroit. Have you been to Detroit? Why the hell would you ever want to go there? To visit the broken down factories?

Making the world series, hell the florida Marlins have WON it twice, and I'd consider anyone who were into them bizarre.

I saw a Marlins game last year with 200 people in the stands. No one gives a crap

I happen to know for a fact these students have NO FRICKING IDEA who the Detroit Tigers are as I have quizzed them on it. So yeah FU asshat.

And your hair is gonna catch on fire when you get to close to the lights dude. I'm gonna enjoy that.

PR317

Joined: 14 Sep 2007

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:38 am Post subject:

HAHAH. I loved it..

desperation

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Those who know, won't say and those who say, don't know. Welcome to Dave's !

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:04 pm Post subject:

PR317 wrote:

HAHAH. I loved it.. Very Happy

Thank you PR317 !!!!!! It feels so nice to be appreciated by those with good taste!

Last edited by desperation on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:04 am; edited 2 times in total

desperation

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Those who know, won't say and those who say, don't know. Welcome to Dave's !

Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:15 am Post subject:

Quote:

I took a lot of time composing those sentences.

For years I have been writing a book, about the assholes I was forced to associate with, the poverty I was forced to endure, my unending ridiculous misfortunes, and the general shittiness of my life (pre-Korea). Those that have read or heard some of it's chapters, remark upon my gift for sentence structure, timing, observation, humor and description. Usually, I am criticized on this website for "poor grammar" and "nasty personality".

It is refreshing to reread this, even though I wrote it. I really wish there were smart and funny writers here in my city. I feel utterly alone with my wisdom and wit.

The favorable compliments in relation to this article make me feel a little better about the college kid losers that drink Cass Beer with a sneer as they snicker about myself and each other......discuss where they may squander their savings via a backpack camera snap mishap..... at the minimart....an activity I abstain from.

Rolling Eyes

I wrote something else on here that had many many punchline sentences. NOBODY GOT IT. I MEAN NOBODY. It was brilliant. Too subtle I guess.

Not as good as the Noblese thing, but it was a real "current event" at the time....Nooses were being discovered across the South....The Chris Neilathon was in full swing....

Nobody could appreciate it though.

Here it is: http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=101899&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=645

It was posted like the day after Chris Neil was caught in Thailand.

Unusual Public Outpouring Confuses Thai Police and Complicates Matters

A strange swirl of events, now surround accused pedophile Christopher Paul Neil in Thailand. Neil was the subject of an unprecedented global manhunt recently after Interpol struggled for three years to part with nearly two hundred photographs found online which depicted a hairy Caucasian man committing various crimes of a sexual nature on over a dozen Asian boys and one girl appearing to range in age from six to fourteen. All the children are believed to be from Cambodia and Vietnam and the photos are believed to have been taken in 2003 by Neil himself and possibly co-conspirators.

German police disclosed today, that last month they decided to purchase the popular photo manipulation software known as �Photoshop�. Heiner Wilken of The Federal Criminal Police Office of Germany (in German: Bundeskriminalamt or BKA) stated via a telephone interview today, �It was quite difficult at first, but eventually we did it. After three years we became bored with merely looking at the photographs and decided it might be possible to solve the mystery of the criminal�s identity. Three of my best men set about mastering a document known as the �Photoshop Owner�s Manual� and within a matter of hours it was evident that we had partially accomplished our new goal and had to alert the media of our findings. We were very proud of this accomplishment but feared it would be a fruitless appeal, considering so much time had passed since the pornography�s creation. We contacted Interpol immediately and they chose to post the man�s face on their website in hopes of acquiring leads toward his identity.�

The World Reacts
Five out of over 350 tipsters contacting Interpol identified the man as Christopher Paul Neil, a 32 year old world traveling uncertified English teacher. Once publicly identified and paid his monthly salary at a South Korean international high school, he fled on a one-way ticket to Thailand where immigration authorities photographed him wearing glasses and looking pale and bloated at Bangkok�s international airport. Following various leads from transvestites and other well-known pedophiles and pimps in the seedy resort town of Pattaya police were able to tap the cellular phone of Mr. Neil�s 25 year old Thai �ladyboy� lover, a man nicknamed �Ohm�. The man agreed to lead police to the fugitive and subsequently Christopher Paul Neil was arrested in the north-eastern city of Nakhon Ratchasima in a house the two men had rented together in an effort to procure more under-aged boys unnoticed.

After a brief press conference where Neil sat with a smirk and wraparound mirrored sunglasses, he was taken to an undisclosed location to be interrogated at length.

Thousands of Gifts but from Whom and Why?
Almost immediately, packages with no return addresses began to arrive at various police stations in Thailand all with Neil�s name as part of the delivery address. The packages were sent by people on every continent, but the majority were from North America. At first the police interpreted the gifts as charitable donations made to honor Mr. Neil�s alleged victims in Thailand which are currently tallied at four young boys, the oldest being 18.

These young men were responsible for the arrest warrant being granted and Neil�s subsequently swift capture so it was presumed that the packages were in recognition of their bravery. Deputy Commissioner-General of the Royal Thai Police, Pohrnot Sohbhad was quoted in an exclusive interview at Police headquarters in Bankok, �It comes in synchronized waves. This is the work of some sort of very large network of like-minded individuals. The bulk of the boxes and envelopes we received in the first 24 hours contained all manner of individually wrapped Halloween candy which we promptly distributed to various orphanages throughout the country and asked that they be distributed on Halloween as we assumed that was the time the senders intended the gifts to be consumed.

Gifts Won't Stop
Next we received scores of hangman�s nooses which my men researched on the google and determined to be fashionable in America right now as a symbol of those who �hate-crime�. You see, recently they are finding these all over America and traditionally they are also hung on trees during Halloween, particularly in the Southern U.S. Again, we distributed them to the children but this time we sent them to our public elementary schools with the instructions that the teachers untie them and use them as jump ropes. By day two, our stations were flooded with a wide array of cotton fabric stuffed boy dolls. The dolls were dressed in different attire and all appeared to be made in Vermont by a small educational game manufacturer. We distributed these dolls to those orphanages in the care of Catholic Missionaries and it was promptly reported back that these were anatomically correct boy dolls and the children were complaining about their guardians and using the dolls to illustrate their unhappiness with their caregivers. We have never known such dolls existed so we never bothered to disrobe them. Around the same time we received numerous complaints from the recipients of the donated candies in regard to there being needles and staples imbedded within them. We do not currently have numbers on those children injured but regrettably the figures apparently run into the hundreds. Unfortunately it seems not one of the orphanages chose to wait until Halloween to distribute the sweets. So far today, stations throughout Thailand have received roughly one to two thousand care packages that contain a Ziploc baggie carrying one small damp cloth and what we learned are known as �latex finger condoms�, widely used in hospitals throughout North America. Several of the cloths have been sent to our labs for testing but our preliminary investigation suggests they have been doused with chloroform. Before I was able to commence this interview I convened a meeting of my top police officials to discuss this strange swirl of events elicited by Mr. Neil's capture, and I have been informed that trench coats and toddler safety harnesses with attached leashes are now arriving at police headquarters at an astounding rate. It was suggested that we distribute them among our foreigner population as a sign of goodwill. We are saddened by the dark shadow this man�s depravity has cast upon our honored guests and we wish to show them that we respect them and welcome them to stay and enjoy all that Thailand has to offer.�

The Deputy Commissioner-General stated that he had never seen a child harness sold in Thailand before and neither had other consultants his offices have contacted. He said, �They are new to all of us here but they seem to be a great invention in the fight to keep children from being taken away by bad men�, and he vowed to make sure that the �farang� population received the gifts before the week�s end. �I wish to rid our police stations of these unwanted packages and I am making a world wide plea that those responsible stop sending us these strange items. We have no need for them and no ability to store them all. Dealing with the items has put undue stress upon our manpower and distracts us from catching more criminals and more importantly, looking at more child pornography. We will be working closely with the FBI regarding the identification of those individuals who sent the candies and determining what their rationale and true intent may have been.�, he said.

Roch

Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:15 pm Post subject:

Huh Kyung-young wrote:

aka Dave wrote:

But I don't get Detroit. They're not that good, haven't been in a long time, and what city is more dreary than Detroit? It seems totally random.

You need to learn how to get along with Whites.

Sorry, eh.

Sincerely yours,

Roch

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