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xCustomx

Joined: 06 Jan 2006
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: Editing help please |
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One of my CT just came back from a 6 month training course and gave me a one page report that she wrote.
"These collections told us that United Kingdom was a nation that the sun hadn�t fallen down. The glory of the past seems to leave in their mind so far, they may as well not be satisfied that, I wish that their generations should restore their honor constantly."
I sat down with her for five minutes and tried to clarify what she meant, but it didn't help at all. When I asked a question, she'd respond with, "Yeah, yeah." Anyone want to try and make this coherent? |
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kiwiliz
Joined: 20 Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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I would tell her to go back to the training course!
How about...and I am not great at grammar myself so please no one hang me...
'
These collections told us that the United Kingdom was a nation of people who felt the sun had not set on them. The glory of their past still lives on in their minds so much that they may not be satisfied with the present. I hope the younger generation can restore their honour.'
Its not great I know...maybe I need longer |
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blackjack

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Location: anyang
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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It actually sounds like a bad translation.
Here is my guess.
The sun hadn't fallen down refers to the saying that the sun never sets on the united kingdom (colonies scattered all over the world). The United kingdom remember their glory days and they are not happy with how far they have fallen. She hopes that one day they will become a strong nation again.
So
These collections tell us that the once great United Kingdom, on which it was said the sun never sets is a pale shadow of its former self. The past glories are a constant reminder of how reduced a nation the United Kindom has become. I can only hope that future generations will rebuild the nation to its former glory.
Not very good but the best I could come up with between classes |
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kiwiliz
Joined: 20 Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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Much better than mine Blackjack!  |
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Jeweltone
Joined: 29 Mar 2005 Location: Seoul, S. Korea
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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"These collections tell us that the once great United Kingdom, on which it was said the sun never sets, is a pale shadow of its former self. The past glories are a constant reminder of how reduced a nation the United Kindom has become. I can only hope that future generations will rebuild the nation to its former glory."
There should be a comma after "on which it was said that the sun never sets." I just finished teaching a lesson on the various uses of dependent/subordinate clauses, so please forgive my grammar Nazi tendency! |
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