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IconsFanatic
Joined: 19 Jan 2003
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 8:07 am Post subject: Busy-Body Bible Brigade |
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Had my first home delivery of faith today, after being here in Busan for nine months - a bunch of church-skipping deadbeats trying to spread the Almighty's word onto my doorstep on the day of the Lord. Amen.
I realize that a significant part of the population here is Christian, and that there are churches everywhere.... heck, I even notice the odd dreary-looking, middle-aged man reading the Leather-Clad Book while on the exercise bike at the gym.... but other than that, one could be forgiven for not knowing Christianity exists at all here.
Sure, there's even a Christian television network here, but I've never seen the spirit up close and personal until my revelation earlier today.
Sorry for the myriad bad puns. |
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Mr. Pink

Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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There are a lot of "cults" here as well.
One day I had the pleasure of scaring the CRAP out of these cultists.
It is like 10am on a Sunday morning. My wife and I were sleeping in. The door bell rings like constantly for 5-10 MINUTES. Then they start BANGING on my door.
I was trying to ignore them by that point, but I couldn't take it any longer. I throw open the door and yell "What the F*ck is so important you have to bang on my door?" The two girls jumped and did a "I'm sorry" and ran away. I felt if I had a stick they might have got a little chase out of the building.
Truth: I was NEVER bothered again.
Some of this christian types are psycho. By in essense waiting 10-15 minutes before I would answer my door tells me they aren't REALLY christian, but rather nuts. My wife said they used to bother her, and they were from some cult church. |
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Barking Mad Lord Snapcase
Joined: 04 Nov 2003
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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If I was confronted by these people in Korea, I would ask them dozens of complex philosophical, cosmological and theological questions, talking very fast in English. I may even draw diagrams on my notepad - a disembodied eye representing God and a sliced-up pie representing the space-time continuum - and point vaguely to these diagrams as I speak. I'll remember to use words like "transfinite", "multidimensional", "ontological" and "quantum uncertainty principle". If this is met with confusion, I will "simplify" the whole issue by drawing a mouse, a teaspoon and a disembodied nose with various arrows pointing towards it, and use words like "antiestablishmentarianism", "exponentiation", "Slatibartfast" and "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious".
If they ask me a question, I'll put on a confused expression and say "Wooloomooloo?"
If they answer all of my questions to my satisfaction, THEN I'll join them  |
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kiwiboy_nz_99

Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Location: ...Enlightenment...
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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I just ask them if they like sex. Talking about sex is the quickest way to make a holly roller uncomfortable ... |
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Moldy Rutabaga

Joined: 01 Jul 2003 Location: Ansan, Korea
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Sigh. One of the unfortunate facts of life: you need no license to be a Christian.
I have never, and I promise I never will, bang on your door or run up to you shoving stupid tracts on you. Drive-by evangelism doesn't work and just makes people angry.
And I still get these people trying to convert me, because my church isn't good enough. Lately I just answer them in Spanish and they seem to go away.
Ken:> |
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kiwiboy_nz_99

Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Location: ...Enlightenment...
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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One time back in NZ, on a Sat afternoon when I was chilling at home, nothing particular to do till going out that night, a couple of fresh faced Mormons came around, not a day over 19. I had nothing to do, and I was feeling polite so invited them in. They stayed for three hours, walked me through the book of mormon and most of their key beliefs, why they are better than other forms of christianity and so on. Really got into some detail, and I asked them a lot of questions too. So I know I'm not making things up now when I say "Those people are NUTS !!!" |
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maxxx_power

Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Location: BWAHAHAHAHA! I'M FREE!!!!!!!
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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If you stop by my place on a Sunday I'm going to answer the door in my undies or a towel, so be prepared.
Most people don't say a word, they just walk away real fast or say "Oh ma!" on account of all my tattoos I imagine.
Next time I think I'll just free ball it to see the response. Welcome to my world you homewrecking zealots. |
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kiwiboy_nz_99

Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Location: ...Enlightenment...
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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So you'll open the door with your set up dangling?
That would be priceless ... especially if you acted all polite with it, and insisted they come in for a cup of tea and ask them all kinds of religioius questions and act all sincere and interested, all the while your block and tackle swinging in the wind but you pretend its totally normal. |
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maxxx_power

Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Location: BWAHAHAHAHA! I'M FREE!!!!!!!
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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I have terrible luck, that would be the time my boss shows up with her kids to take me out to lunch or something. |
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Mankind

Joined: 18 Jan 2003
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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I used to have a problem with Jehovah witnesses in Canada about 10 years ago. Everyday a new one would showup and hassle me went on for about 2 months. So I put a sign on the door that said 'I kill every third Jehovah and 2 just left' Solved my problem.
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dutchman

Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: My backyard
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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kiwiboy_nz_99 wrote: |
So you'll open the door with your set up dangling?
That would be priceless ... especially if you acted all polite with it, and insisted they come in for a cup of tea and ask them all kinds of religioius questions and act all sincere and interested, all the while your block and tackle swinging in the wind but you pretend its totally normal. |
Drew Carey had a prop he used in his stand-up act. He said he used it to impress a woman the first time she came to his house. You might find it useful to. It was a specially made towel. He attached the head of a dildo to the bottom of the towel. He said he'd bring the woman home. Tell he wanted to take a shower and then casually walk out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist and ask the woman if she'd like anything.
I'd love to see the faces when you open the door wearing that. Actually, I'd love to hear the stories they tell to their friends after seeing it. "It's really true! Western men have incredibly long dicks!"
You might have a whole stream of evangelical ladies visiting your house for a glimpse.  |
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katydid

Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Here kitty kitty kitty...
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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kiwiboy_nz_99 wrote: |
One time back in NZ, on a Sat afternoon when I was chilling at home, nothing particular to do till going out that night, a couple of fresh faced Mormons came around, not a day over 19. I had nothing to do, and I was feeling polite so invited them in. They stayed for three hours, walked me through the book of mormon and most of their key beliefs, why they are better than other forms of christianity and so on. Really got into some detail, and I asked them a lot of questions too. So I know I'm not making things up now when I say "Those people are NUTS !!!" |
LOL at least you tested a theory out before subscribing to it. My mom actually was THE ONLY person I ever knew to actually invite a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses into our home. I really would like to one day have a good conversation about religion with someone, l but not if they act like they are selling something. Which, in essence, they are. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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I see nothing wrong with people bravely and proactively attempting to win others over to their point of view. So long as they go away when you ask to be left alone, and they don't infringe on your personal space or privacy. Knocking on your door when you're trying to sleep in is a borderline offence in this case.. |
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Mr. Pink

Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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Mankind wrote: |
I used to have a problem with Jehovah witnesses in Canada about 10 years ago. Everyday a new one would showup and hassle me went on for about 2 months. So I put a sign on the door that said 'I kill every third Jehovah and 2 just left' Solved my problem.
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Funny they harassed me in Canada too. So at the time I was taking some christianity classes and I started debating the Bible with the guy, for like 2hrs, then I said, "Oh I have to goto class now, call me again sometime." I swear NO ONE ever called or came to my house again. I must have got blacklisted.
On a side note there is a JW at my school. Her brother used to put tracts and other crap on all the teachers desks. I got pissed off and basically said: Religion stays on the doorstep as you enter school. I don't preach my beliefs in class, and neither should you.
The crap stopped showing up on our desks. |
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Mr. Pink

Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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rapier wrote: |
I see nothing wrong with people bravely and proactively attempting to win others over to their point of view. So long as they go away when you ask to be left alone, and they don't infringe on your personal space or privacy. Knocking on your door when you're trying to sleep in is a borderline offence in this case.. |
Dude those chicks were NUTS.
Funny is I was in my boxers when I asked them wtf they wanted. |
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