Korean Job Discussion Forums

MA_TESOL · Joined: 11 Nov 2007 Location: Seoul

in a bar situation do like it when men offer to buy you a drink? Is it flatterring or annoying? Do you prefer the guy to be handsome but cocky or average with a nice personality?

Do you ever want to just relax and not be hassled by all us jerks or do you want the attention?

I know these are general questions, everybody is different and we all get in different moods. I guess my question is: to you when are these men annoying jerks and when are they a pleasant addition to your evening.

maeil · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Location: Haebangchon

Here's my opinion.

I think it's important for guys to pick up on the clues that the women in question are giving. I know that this is an age-old conundrum between the sexes, but really, it isn't too hard. Awkward situations can be avoided in the first few minutes.

If the woman isn't looking directly at you, her smiles are fleeting, or she seems similarly distracted: she's not interested but she's trying not to be rude. She might be in a relationship and doesn't know how to work that into the conversation, she might be on a girl's night out, or she just might not be into you.

If the woman is engaged and friendly, then by all means offer to buy her a drink when she runs out of hers. Please don't use a drink in the same manner some guys use a pick-up line, though. Establish some sort of conversation first to gauge what her response might be. If she refuses the drink, one offer is enough. You don't have to push the issue.

A whole lot depends on the manner in which a guy approaches. If he comes up to me with an obvious, "Hey baby" sort of attitude... big turn off. If he starts talking about the music or something else about the evening in a friendly, non-aggressive way, then that opens the door to further conversation.

But like you say.. all women are different. Just relating my experience with this one.

Draz · Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Location: Land of Morning Clam

"I have a boyfriend" means "I don't have a boyfriend, I just want you to go away".

ciccone_youth · Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Location: Japan

maeil · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Location: Haebangchon

sarahbeara_413 · Joined: 24 Jun 2008

the_beaver · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

Men are socially retarded.

Best bet:

Make eye contact a time or two (not by staring or gawking, but casual).
Give and get a smile (not a leer).

Then you're good to approach and offer to buy a drink.

EricaSmile84 · Joined: 23 Jan 2008

Yeah wait until you feel like things are going ok before you offer to buy a drink. If that's the 1st thing that comes out of your mouth, there are high chances that the girl will accept the drink just so she doesn't have to use her own money--- NOT because she likes you. Once you give her the drink, she could very well say "thanks" and walk away. Some guys assume that if they buy a girl a drink then she owes him her time, which she doesn't (and she won't give it to you if she's daring enough). So basically, wait till it feels right and don't get discouraged by the meanies out there who are playing their own little games.

Faunaki · Joined: 15 Jun 2007

This is the coolest situation:

If you see a girl sitting at the bar alone, buy her a drink but get the waitress to give it to her and let her know you bought it. If she's interested/available she'll come over and say hey thanks (we're talking westerners here, I don't know K women) ..... If she's busy or whatever and she doesn't come up and talk to you then let it go.

This way the girl is in complete control. She doesn't feel like she has to talk to you and you don't look like you're desperate. It's kind of like, by giving the chick all the power, you seem cool and confident.