Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mysterious700]

Well, let me say this is a society of shallow people. While many people are very friendly and kind, there is always a hugely (and ridiculous) competitive emphasis on appearance. As bad as things can get in North America, it can be 50 to 100 times worse here. I suspect Seoul might be a little more forgiving than the smaller cities, regional metropolitan cities, and the countryside. That said Seoul is only very slightly more forgiving of "appearance flaws". Heaven help you if you are a guy who has put on a little weight while being over here. Koreans will give an over abundance of praise if they think your appearance is perfect and scrutiny if they thik you are less than perfect. They aren't necessarily being ignorant they just don't seem to know any better. Boys will praise boys for being handsome. People will pat you on the belly and say "Health". When I first came here in June of 2007, I was slim and I tell you these small town folk (where I live) wouldn't shut up. They kept going on about me and tell me how handsome i was. (I was never conceited about it and I started to get really annoyed about it.) Unfortunately, there was a perfect storm for me. I came at the start of the summer where it was so hot (to a Canadian) that all I could do was to stay inside with the air conditioning on. Then people kept taking me out for lunch and saying korean food doesn't make you fat. (baloney). I will admit to liking some of this new food and people kept serving more if i finished my dinner. (Now I know you should leave some food on your plate to prevent that.) Anyways, new foods and no excerise saw an increase in weight. Then ame winter which was warmer than canada's but with air that was more damp. It can be minus 30 celcius with dry air and not feel too bad. But minus 5 with dampness that chills to the bone makes you want to stay indoors and again no excercise. These perfect storm combined to make me gain weight during my first year. I've stabilzed since this time and am gradually going back down. Still it is a long journey. I had probably gone up about 20 pounds and now have lost 5. As I said, when I first got here people wouldn't shut up about praising my appearance. (I might have got the odd compliment in the west but this is ridiculous.) I even had female public school teachers giving me their numbers and wanting to spend time with me. Now I am 15 pounds overweight with a small belly but not fat anywhere else and I am avoided like the plague. I have a western friend who speaks Korean who said some girls said they would like me except that I am fat. They react to me (and Koreans in general) the way a westerner would react around a morbidly obese person. The girls thought I was funny and nice looking but they couldn't look beyond the small belly. It took a long time to clue into this pattern and behaviour. I have experienced both extremes in their behaviour since coming to Korea. I went to America to visit family (family lives in Canada and USA) and the small belly was no big deal but here it is the end of the world. After my first month I went up 5 pounds and some older female teachers who, at first praised my appearnance, stopped and commented that I put on weight. The younger women noticed it but still seemed to tolerate it and said it was ok. So what I have learned is that an extra 5 pounds here is like an extra 15 to 20 in the west. It seems to the level that people will tolerate before turning on you so to speak. I suspect in Seoul that some people have been abroad and seen really huge obese people and might be a little more forgiving. BY forgiving I mean an extra 10 pounds instead of 5. When I visited Seoul in my first months girls still noticed me on the subway when I went to visit, we local countryside girls (teachers) were pulling away and acting distant. I was scratching my head for a long time until I made friends with a Korean speaking westerner who has lived here for 5 years who recently repeated the comments about people calling me fat. This blog and observation is meant to give advice to newbies and those coming over. If you are coming over soon and are overweight, diet and hit the gym. If you were 15 or 20 pounds overweight and did ok with girls, you mostly won't here unless it is an exprostitute who wants something. (Bad girls here dress like good girls and act proper except for a few in Itaewon. So be careful and don't fall in love.) Anyways, I remember reading a blog here a long time ago and thought the person was bitter, but now I think he had the right idea. He essentially said girls here will not like you unless you are good looking, are skinny as a rail or have a muscular body. I went from having dates to becoming a dateless wonder. It is something I am not accustmed to. One girl I had dated when I first came here had a 5 year old sister who ran up to me and said "handsome" and ran away. They learn to obsess over appearance at a young age, hence the surgeries when they grow up. I want to know your thoughts and experience while being here. If any of you who did decent with women back home wonder why some do poorer here than back home while others do better or the same, this is why. Body image and facial looks are more important here. A sense of humor doesn't hurt but will be useless with the other two in the eyes of a Korean women. A guy with an ok attractive face, who might have had some wieght on but wooed women with humor will not pull it off here. (You really want to avoid Itaewon girls and ex prostitutes who you might have only a slightly better chance of hooking up with. You do not want to be decieved and fall for these girls.) Anyways, give your thoughts and input. I hope my long winded observation helps the rest of you.

[samd]

Paragraphs and I'll read it.

[mysterious700]

Useful advise so suit yourself. Ha ha. (Sorry, I got off on a rant.)

[ben-ja-mas]

[Tiberious aka Sparkles]

Who farted?

[ED209]

[zpeanut]

[mysterious700]

[mysterious700]

Hmmm, the lazy comment and perspective is interesting. I suppose because they tradionally worked 18 hours a day. Too crazy for my tastes....

[ciccone_youth]

Yes, I agree, Koreans don't like fat people. And not all Korean food is healthy, oh no.

If it makes you feel better I'm pretty thin myself but somehow I don't feel thin compared to other girls, like I did back home. They're not used to curves on girls either- sales girls are always so surprised when I actually fit in the free size.

What matters is how you feel about yourself, if you think you look good with a bit more weight on then it's great, try not to care about what people think.

[Ruraljuror]

My life is infinitely poorer for having read that.

[EzeWong]

I just finished having a drink with a girl I just met (friends). I was so pissed to notice she had plastic surgery. I could tell.

I mean, I understand WHY people get it. But goddamn society (including western too) pisses me off with all this emphasis on looks.

I'm a bit tipsy so I'm a little emotional here... but WHY MAN WHY?

Do you HAVE to get your body cut up and your bones filed down because some assmonkey doesn't like the way you look? I've been reading some articles because after I realized she went under the knife (I asked her) I just can't get it out of my head. Apparently Koreans do it for better jobs etc. WHY I don't see any proverbs that say "beauty is only skin deep" or "you can't judge a book by it's cover".

Ok I get the "handsome" comments all the time. But there are days when i don't do my hair, or I look a little sloppy because I hit the Cass last night too hard. I NOTICED too that when my looks are even a little off, people start treating me like a whole goddamn different person.

I mean, honestly it's no different from back at home in western countries. It's a natural human thing to do.... base people on looks. BUT G FIng grow up. Don't go under the knife. People should like you for the way you are. Life's so goddamn unfair. just because some genetic code makes my nose skinner I'm treated like god... what a frigin crock.

[Papa Smurf]

[Pyongshin Sangja]

You ramble on forever about your weight. Maybe you're the shallow one.

[Papa Smurf]

Actually last night i was in Gangnam. I was looking my best cos i'd been on a date and these ultra weird freaky metro hair cut guys (who were possibly drunk and spoke next to no english) just stopped me in the street and started talking utter shit and taking pictures and generally acting like i was a celebrity. I'm not bad but i'm not THAT good looking for heaven's sake. It was really uncomfortable. It's just silly. I've got blonde hair and blue eyes so they think i'm something special? I can't imagine ever doing that to another guy in the street.

At first this kind of thing was really flattering and put a smile on my face, but these days i just question it. I mean, one day i aint gonna be so young. Looks aren't forever. And what will these people think of me then? Do they value people who are simply good people???? Not that i'm sure i'll be in Korea in my older years, but it's food for thought.