Korean Job Discussion Forums

[FistFace]

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[Ruraljuror]

That sucks. But you did the right thing, don't let any one persuade you otherwise. You wife is being terribly unreasonable.

My wife had a male friend who called her up late one night sobbing...he had just been through a breakup and was in a bad place. I told my wife she should go talk to him and keep him company so he wouldn't do something stupid. That's just common human decency. Which frankly, your wife seems to lack.

Let her pout. Taking care of your fellow brothers and sisters on this planet is not something you need to apologize for or feel bad about.

And in the future...minimize contact with your drama queen friend. Stop taking her calls or answering her texts. She makes trouble to get attention, and you really don't need her in your life. Anything that causes trouble between you and the most important relationship in your life has outlived it's usefulness.

[yawarakaijin]

Quite a story. While I can't ever admit to being in such a possibly serious situation the stuff about the wife is very familiar indeed. Probably the only real serious relationship issue I have ever had with an asian women. Never dated a Korean for an extended period of time but I can tell you that Japanese women are they exact same way.

The "you should understand how I feel if you love me routine" never seems to get old. Surely men are capable of understading how their wife feels if she just lost her grandfather or her dog but I will never understand how we are simply supposed to "understand" them during each and every encounter no matter how serious or trivial.

The line about life not having to be a soap opera is spot on as well. Seemed like every really serious relationship I've gotten into with an asian girl has taken on this aura. Dating was just fine, but when it got serious it was like the suddenly/desperately start trying to mirror what they see on tv or "how their parents do it" I just love it how we are "exotic" and "interesting" when dating but when things get serious (marriage/engagement) we suddenly "don't understand their ways."

I feel for you man. You are definitely not alone in what you are going through/went through.

[Juregen]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Countrygirl]

My husband would probably react the same as your wife. I wouldn't be able to stay away from someone who asks for my help and my husband would say that it is none of my business.

Tell her that she was right (this time) but you would probably do the same thing next time. You can't change who you are and you will always help someone in need. Label this fight as 'cultural differences'. And then change your phone number so that this other lady will never be in a position to manipulate you again.

[FMPJ]

Fixed

[Kimbop]

Sorry fistface, but you exhibited bad judgment. Your wife has every reason to be angry with you. Let the police/social services worry about weirdos -- it's not your job. If the weirdo really wanted to kill herself, she would have hurled herself from a 9-storey building. Why would she call YOU? Why would the police want you there?

Apologize to your wife.

The next time a weirdo phones you, hang up. That's what I do to weirdos. They call me all the time.

[Otherside]

[spliff]

Turn off your phone, that's what I do.

[VanIslander]

Are you Korean? Is your wife Korean? I smell cultural differences here if you're a waygook or American-raised gyopo and she is Korean. If that is the case, you should have listened to your wife. You should at least be very aware of how it all looks to her and thereby refrain from terms like "heartless and selfish" to describe your wife.

The Western hero in you was blind to the - at least potential - subtext. If you were aware that the suicide call was a 'cry for help' then why didn't you cease and desist your mission once the police arrived? You say you were just following what the police requested but - at that very point - with you knowing your wife's concern, you should have turned around.

Apologize to your wife for (a) not trying to understand her perspective; (b) for your ignorance of the subtext or cultural misunderstanding if your wife is Korean and (c) for not trusting your wife's judgement on the matter.

[kimchi_pizza]

[FistFace]

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[FistFace]

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[FistFace]

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[VanIslander]