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matko
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: in a world of hurt!
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 Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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My dad is a big, burly, uneducated Croatian fisherman. Jehova's USED to come to our house.
One morning, my dad answered the door. Before they could open their mouths my dad said
F##K OFF YOU MOTHER F##KING C##K SUCKERS!
He then slammed the door so hard, he broke the door frame.
My dad is a devout Catholic. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 2:36 am Post subject: |
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I once had a debate on the doorstep with a JW, poor old dearwas lost for words with my argument.
First she showed me some stylised pictures of heaven, with all the various wild animals sat down together enjoying a peaceful picnic. "Don't you want to live there?" she asked..
"Why does a lion have claws in heaven?" i asked. "surely it wouldn't need them, as killing to eat would be dissallowed there. In fact, why did God make Lions with huge canines and sharp claws in the beginning, if he didn't intend them to kill other animals?"
She truly didn't know what to say, I think it really broke her heart, "I don't know..but,.. don't you want to go to heaven...??? "
yes, I replied, but not everything makes sense to me yet".
She left, hastily polishing up on her spiel.
It still doesn't make complete sense to me. But I have faith that one day it all will.....Amen.  |
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Alias
Joined: 24 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 6:35 am Post subject: |
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Want to get an interesting reacation? Tell them that you're a convert to Islam. This gives the Evangelicals back home a heart attack.
I wonder what the Korean word for Islam/Muslim is? |
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kiwiboy_nz_99
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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| If they female, just tell they you're incredibly well hung, get hard ons every half hour, and do they love sex? |
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dutchman
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: My backyard
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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| kiwiboy_nz_99 wrote: |
| If they female, just tell they you're incredibly well hung, get hard ons every half hour, and do they love sex? |
Yes, I agree. Honesty is always the best policy. |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Alias wrote: |
Want to get an interesting reacation? Tell them that you're a convert to Islam. This gives the Evangelicals back home a heart attack.
I wonder what the Korean word for Islam/Muslim is? |
I believe it's, "Taylolist-ee". |
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Derrek
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, Kiwi...
During your long discussion, did they tell you that they believe Jesus and Satan were brothers, and that when men die, they will inherit their own heaven and become a God?
Mormons believe that Jesus' work was not finished -- it was finished by the dude who wrote the book of Mormon (I forget his name).
As I understand it, these are chief differences between Mormons and Christians.
Oh, and they can also practice poligamy. If someone comes to my door, I'll ask about that. Actually, one of my co-workers is Mormon, and he's a darn nice guy and becoming a good friend. I'm not into the Mormon religion, although we've never discussed it. |
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DarthPaul
Joined: 17 Dec 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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"You're xxxxing crazy, get the xxxx out of my house"
I had the pleasure of saying that to two chick members of a notorious Korean cult. They and been spying on and practically stalking my flatmate, making her feel very uncomfy.
So I really enjoyed telling them off Nuts like that are annoying but they can be a source of amusement as well, I was just sorry I didn't have any hash cookies baked that day...always be prepared...thats my motto from now on |
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DarthPaul
Joined: 17 Dec 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Derrek wrote: |
Mormons believe that Jesus' work was not finished -- it was finished by the dude who wrote the book of Mormon (I forget his name).
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The Morman guy was a con-man, he made up a whole civilization -- some jews that went to America in BC times and built about 100 cities.
He found some "Gold Tablets" that revealed this to him, they came with a maic pair of translation glasses, you put on the glasses and the ancient Egytionish writings become legible in english. |
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jaebea
Joined: 21 Sep 2003
Location: SYD
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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Hash cookies would have been great.
Serve them a few, and see how they react when they've just eaten the "devils food".
Probably end up coming back for more. :)
My home in Sydney has been a friggin target for JW activity. I always ignore them, but when the door is opened, I can never have the courage to tell them exactly where to go.
I really should try it sometime.
jae. |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2003 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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It's no worse than the fricking kwalli adjoshi yacking away at eight in the morning over the loudspeaker.  |
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Mr. Pink
Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: China
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 12:53 am Post subject: |
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| Corporal wrote: |
| It's no worse than the fricking kwalli adjoshi yacking away at eight in the morning over the loudspeaker. |
Funny story:
My house is like 5 houses down the street for the neighbourhood police station.
Surprisingly my neighbourhood is pretty quiet. I realized why.
One morning I go out and hear this truck blasting something for sale. I am right by the police station when I see all the officers come out with a sleepy look on their faces. The senior guy tells one of the guys to go shut the truck up. 1 minute later there was no more noise 
I had to laugh my ass off. The cops were having their "work sleep" disturbed so that is probably why there are no trucks blasting around my neighbourhood. |
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kiwiboy_nz_99
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: ...Enlightenment...
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 7:44 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
"You're xxxxing crazy, get the xxxx out of my house"
I had the pleasure of saying that to two chick members of a notorious Korean cult. They and been spying on and practically stalking my flatmate, making her feel very uncomfy.
So I really enjoyed telling them off Nuts like that are annoying but they can be a source of amusement as well, I was just sorry I didn't have any hash cookies baked that day...always be prepared...thats my motto from now on |
Hi Capt Porridge !  |
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The Man known as The Man
Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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I liked it when Annie S was telling me when she was living in Hamilton gooing to McMaster for chemistry undergrad and lived in a house with 4 other girls and JW comes to the door, doing her seel.
Annie: Im sorry, Im Jewish.
JW: What about any of your housemates?
Aniie: No, they are all Jewish too |
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Moldy Rutabaga
Joined: 01 Jul 2003
Location: Ansan, Korea
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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This is a little off-topic, but sometimes getting rid of anyone trying to sell you something is a nuisance.
A few years ago the local newspaper had the trick of giving non-subscribers a few weeks of free newspaper and then trying to guilt them into taking a subscription.
He: Ring. Hello, we'd like to know if you're interested in continuing your free subscription.
Me: I can't.
He: Why not?
Me: I can't read.
He: You can't read?
Me: No, I'm illiterate.
He: Well, how about the others in your house?
Me: No, none of us can read. This is a group home for illiterate people.
He: I'm not sure I believe this.
Me: Are you making fun of me because I can't read?
He: Coff---choke---uh, of course not, I'm sorry... have a good day.
It might be fun to try something like this with a JW. But then, they might come back the next day with cassettes.
Ken:> |
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