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Dealing with Homesickness :(
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Lola723



Joined: 31 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:59 am    Post subject: Dealing with Homesickness :( Reply with quote

Hello all.

I've been in Korea a little over 2 weeks. I work for a great hagwon and my coworkers are very pleasant, and I'm grateful for my job. I know there are little nuances that may eventually lead to "culture shock," but for right now, I'm handling it as well as I can. I'm glad to say that Korea has been very good to me up till this point.

The thing is, I feel rather homesick already. Not for the US exactly, but rather my family and some close friends. It's sort of hard when you are accustomed to speaking with them and seeing them frequently, and there have been a few occasions where I miss them a great deal. I know that I won't be able to see them for at least a year, and it's kinda disheartening.

For those of you who hav been in my shoes, how do you deal best with those times when you feel blue/lonely? I acknowledge that it won't always be like this, but for now, it's hard to see the forest for the trees.

Thanks for reading and letting me vent.
-L Crying or Very sad
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Harpeau



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Coquitlam, BC

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there,

Welcome to Korea. Where abouts are you located? Have you met many people? What you're experiencing is normal. It's important to get outside and try and meet people. Enjoy life here while you can.
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soviet_man



Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a while you start to re-define what "home" actually is.

In one year at a hagwon you will probably see 250+ different children pass through your classroom door, see 10 waygook co-teachers come and go, meet 20 K teachers, deal with all manner of crazy ajosshis and ajummas on the street and have all sorts of weird experiences.

Yes it is hard leaving your old home, but the pay off is the new experiences and new relationships and friendships that come along in their place.

You have to re-program your thinking to what you have gained, not what you have lost. Surprised
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sojourner1



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Location: Where meggi swim and 2 wheeled tractors go sput put chug alugg pug pug

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yes, given time, you automatically program to think what you have gained instead of lost. This comes especially easy when the job market has nothing to offer at home and the system is about to collapse. Of course, I miss relatives, friends, places, food, and the rich experiences the USA has to offer as we have some of the best fishing, camping, and road tripping in the world.

Download your favorite movies, music videos, and songs through Mininova.org. Talk on the phone when the time is right. I know the time difference is total nonsense as it makes calling home inconvenient.

American movies and music momentarily xfers me home for a few minutes. I fill my lonely Korean nights with escape techniques like movies, because this rock is simply not home and never will be. It's a home away from home as US military guys say when living abroad. They bring everything with them, even vehicles from the states as the US dept. of defense ships all this shit everything Americans deploy.

We're strangers in a strange land without all this extra support like soldiers get. It was a shock to me going abroad without that and my buddies as I was used to having that support network that ESL jobs lack. We really are on our own alone out here and that's every reason why it's valid to be homesick.

I'd go crazy without this nifty computer...


Last edited by sojourner1 on Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:55 am; edited 1 time in total
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joshuahirtle27



Joined: 23 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes like most of the posters here, you will find that a computer and the internet is a solace. The trick is to find people who actually want to experience Korea as well as just rant about it on Dave's. I have a job like yours. The people I work with are pleasant and the kids are good... most of the time. In Guro there are a few ajumas and ajossis but they are easily dismissed.

If you want to hang out some time I'm pretty much free on weekends so PM it up.
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teachergirltoo



Joined: 28 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have got some good advice above, but I would like to recommend SKYPE and a webcam. I have never been homesick for my friends and family because I talk to them, and see them, several times a week. I sent webcams as presents to those that already didn't have them and now we do conference calling occasionally too. Use the tools technology offers and you will probably find that it will really help.
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drkalbi



Joined: 06 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find getting laid helps Laughing
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ciccone_youth



Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been quite homesick too, it comes and goes... but here is what helps:

-go to Costco and buy your favorite foods, and cook some comfort food.
-watch movies you like, or fun TV series like Friends, Seinfeld, etc.
-go out and explore the neighborhoods: are you in Seoul? If so, there is so much to do and see.
-buy an English book and go to a cafe and read and just people-watch
-try to join some clubs or find activities. If you're on facebook do a group search for korea, there are so many things and events going on.
-befriend people at work and go out with them and try to meet new people.
-join a gym: the workout will be good for your mind and body, and you can meet people (i met a few good friends at the gym).
-write emails to your friends at home, and send many pictures.
-maybe start writing a blog or some kind of diary.
-get a calling card or Skype and call your friends and family
-send some packages to friends + family, and you might get some in return!

Good luck... for me, watching Friends pretty much did it, as well as meeting other foreigners in the same boat and going out to eat or for coffee with them.
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jkelly80



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Location: you boys like mexico?

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try to think of all the banal boring annoying things you remember from home. That helps me. Going to the Homever here is an adventure!!! Going to Walgreen's at home was a chore. Etc...
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the_beaver



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

teachergirltoo wrote:
You have got some good advice above, but I would like to recommend SKYPE and a webcam. I have never been homesick for my friends and family because I talk to them, and see them, several times a week. I sent webcams as presents to those that already didn't have them and now we do conference calling occasionally too. Use the tools technology offers and you will probably find that it will really help.


Well, admittedly, I've never been homesick so I don't know how much my opinion is worth.

But, the quoted opinion above is what I would advise.
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jkelly80



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Location: you boys like mexico?

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also, watch this video to perk up (SFW):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1738842995641330414
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Join Me



Joined: 14 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

drkalbi wrote:
I find getting laid helps Laughing


Yes. Definitely getting laid.
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kiknkorea



Joined: 16 May 2008

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sojourner1 wrote:
Talk on the phone when the time is right. I know the time difference is total nonsense as it makes calling home inconvenient.
Confused Something else Korea does to make our life more difficult! I'm more of a night person and would love going into work at 9am when the moons out. Smile

Seriously, the posts here have good advice on this. Getting involved with others helps me. Plan on doing different things each week aside from your usual routine. Mainly don't take your job or life in Korea for granted. This is a fine opportunity to see and experience something most never do. Focus on variety in your time here and share your photos and experiences with your loved ones whenever you can. Hang in there Wink
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Looking East



Joined: 08 May 2008
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All of this is good stuff. But something that hasn't been said is TRAVEL. Pick a destination, wherever, just pick one. Be it plane, train or bus, PLAN for something. We have a three day weekend coming. Go somewhere: Busan, Jeju, or even Ilsan since you just got here and probably are broke. Having things to look forward to really helps me.
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mmarshalynne



Joined: 23 May 2008

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been here 2 months. I'm homesick too. Nothing is like being home with family and friends, but Skype really helps. I also got a SkypeIn number and picked a number where it is a local call for most friends and family. I receive more phone calls now than I did at home. Getting out and exploring new areas is the time more than ever that I forget about what I miss.
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