Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Ya-ta Boy]

Background: Level 1 at my school is divided into an A (my class) and a B section (my partner). This semester a student spent some time in both sections. He then had to leave before the semester ended.

Story:
Yesterday morning, the class president brought a big group photo of the combined sections to be sent to the student who has left early. It was mounted on cardboard, and the Korean teacher had already signed it with a good luck message. It was my turn to sign. I felt just the tiniest twinge of disappointment that a picture had been taken without me�and my partner, but I didn�t say anything and signed. No big deal.

Later, I was in the office and the other teacher said she�d had a terrible morning. I asked why and she told me. At length. The short version: She said the students had asked her to sign the picture and it �mortified� her that they would do something so rude as to ask her to sign a picture she wasn�t in. She said she took some time to explain to the students that they were being culturally insensitive to her to ask her to do such a thing. In the West it is highly insulting to be asked to do that. She told them it was a major faux pas. She said it left the students mortified.

I sat there pretty mortified myself, knowing I had signed the picture. I bit my tongue and didn�t say that I�d been asked and had signed. While she was talking I had three things on my mind. One, when I was in about 5th grade I was home sick and received a Get Well card from the class. It was signed by all the students, including a mysterious �Marcia� who I didn�t know. (It turned out Marcia was a new student who had come while I was home and had never met and didn�t know anything about until I got back to school. I remember the incident because I spent hours trying to figure out which classmate was so stupid they couldn�t spell their own name. It turned out Marcia was a nice person and never told me she was angry about having to sign my Get Well card.) Another thing I thought about was an incident last week. She had asked the students their opinion on the best way to learn English and had gotten angry when one said that their Korean teacher had told them the best way was to �memorize�. She was so angry that after class she confronted the Korean teacher in the office and ended up in a shouting match. Her point was that if memorizing was the best way to learn English, then the school didn�t need to hire foreign teachers because if the students can just memorize English, they don�t need us. The third thing that I thought about as I half-listened to her rant was that at the one group dinner with both sections, she got angry that the Korean teacher wasn�t there and called him up on her cell phone and more or less ordered him to come�and then spent two or three days complaining that he was there and spoiled the party for her by being there. (She hates him.) A couple of other thoughts wandered through my mind also�maybe this is an Australian thing and maybe this woman is just wound way too tight.

So�I just sat there on my hands, biting my tongue while she explained how utterly thoughtless it was of the students to ask her to sign a class picture she wasn�t in. I decided silence and a sympathetic nod was the best strategy. I figured any response I might come up with would be the wrong one.

What do you think?

a) Did I betray Western Civilization by signing the picture?
b) Did I drop the ball as a teacher by not taking class time to explain to students that it was culturally insensitive of them and they had committed a major faux pas?
c) Should I have gotten upset that a group picture was taken without us foreign teachers being in it? Is this a sign of a lack of respect?
d) Should I have admitted to her that I had signed the picture? Was I a craven coward for just listening to her rant without responding?
e) Other?

I�m not sure if this belongs in Job-Related because it happened at work, General because the school is in Korea and the situation involves an alleged faux pas on the part of Koreans, or Off-Topic because it involves an Australian. The mods can move it if they decide it�s on the wrong Forum.

[Mr. Pink]

I've never heard of that being insensitive. I would have signed the card as well. Maybe the students thought it was rude or insensitive to ask for your time in taking a photo? Or her time?

Perhaps you should explain to the other teacher, that teachers are supposed to be flexible...like you were. I think you did a good job...the other one sounds a little to serious. Teaching is also about having some fun.

[milspecs]

she sounds like a bitch who wants everyone to pay attention to her

[Unposter]

I have been in Korea way too long but...

While I think it is "strange" to sign a picture I'm not in, I don't think there is some steadfast rule that to ask someone to do so is to be very rude.

My two-cent psychology thinks your co-worker is suffering from culture shock and feels that any behavior that does not agree with her own set of behavioral norms is seriously wrong and a challange to her values.

I might be very diplomatic about the situation. I wouldn't say anything but if your students were to ask about the politeness of the situation or your co-worker's behavior you might say something like...while Western people generally don't ask people to sign photos that they are not in, we also know that you are not Western people and we should not hold you up to the same standards. We know your intentions were good when you made the request.

I think anytime you can impart some cultural information it is valuable (as long as it is not presented in an arrogant or oppressive manner) but you are human and you cannot be expected to realize every opportunity.

Sometimes we "baby" our students or we fear the cultural questions or discussion that might ensue but to a large part the advantage of having a Native-speaking teacher is the cultural information a native-speaker can impart.

I think this is an interesting discussion to bring to this forum. There is much to think about and consider.

[ben-ja-mas]

[semi-fly]

It's sad she cares this much about a picture. Did the student run over her puppy, did the neighbors eat her cat? It's a picture, it's not something to get worked up over.

I would say that it is rather rude of the school to have a picture made without all of the faculty. It sounds from your post that neither of you were asked to be in the picture. I could understand her being a little upset about that but to take it out on a child is really low on her part.

[VanIslander]

it bothered you but this was not something you made an issue of

as a long timer you know when to pick and choose your battles

everyone has to decide for themself where they draw the line and unfortunately for some (like her) that line is crossed so often they don't realize there is a line and are in a constant state of shock, frustration and moral outrage

[EzeWong]

I'm pretty learned cultural customs and manners, but this is the first I've heard about the pictures.

I definately don't classify this as a western belief in the slightest, It's really her own perception.

Sure, I think we might all be offended on some level at not being in the picture, but better to sign it then not sign it at all. And I think it's a very selfish attitude to take. This isn't "me" time. It's about the student leaving... why would you turn a siutation around to focus on yourself? Gah, is tha any behavior of a teacher? I can understand that many she was trying to explain manners, but even then it sounds like it wasn't done on a civilized level.

I'd only be truly insulted if I was a student and the picture had been taken without me, on a day I was there... Anyone of any culture would be insulted by that.

[jkelly80]

Foreigners behave strangely in Korea. Got it.

[Faunaki]

Is this Aussie a newbie? I remember when I was a newbie I was wound up about rude things. But after a couple of years living away from the "norm" I chilled out. Give her time, tell her to take it easy, get her drunk, find her a nice boyfriend, whatever.

[ciccone_youth]

Never heard of that being culturally insensitive either. I think she likes drama.

[cruisemonkey]

a)
b)
c)
d)

e) None of the above.

[livinginkunsan]

Only by running to Asia without being a man and paying for your bills back home.

[IncognitoHFX]

[Cornfed]