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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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 Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:39 pm Post subject: Bush's Resignation Speech |
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'Bout damn time somebody said it.
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A speech the President might make...
Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied...People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' In stead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel . Did you sleep through high school?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of in telligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time yo u send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will eve r hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America .
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
While the above is satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. Think about it.
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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Reesedog,
Climate change is real. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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That's cute, ReeseDog. I've missed your posts lately where you tell us McCain is going to win the election. It's always entertaining to get a peak into an alternate universe.
I enjoyed this piece of 'satire', although probably not for the reasons you did. It's a really good demonstration of how nothing is the fault of the policies that have created the mess.
This part was especially funny: "Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time yo u send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing." It's not often a writer can find a way to make racism funny, but this writer managed it.
I'm a real fan of petulance and this 'speech' is a gem of an example. The 'suffering hero' daydream has always been one of my favorites. You know the kind I mean--nobody appreciates me but once I'm in my deathbed, then they'll appreciate me.
Anyway, welcome back. Do you think McCain will break 100 in the Electoral College? |
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:11 pm Post subject: |
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There you are. I thought that post might bring you out.
You're right, I haven't been around as often. The election will be close; I'm beginning to feel a little pessimistic about McCain's chances. He still might make it, but your boy seems to have pulled ahead. Not by much, though, and it ain't over yet. It's too soon for me to be drafting a Ya-ta Boy-was-right post, but I'll be ready in case the worst happens.
I thought the speech to be pretty damn good, though. I completely agree with most of the points made. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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It's too soon for me to be drafting a Ya-ta Boy-was-right post, but I'll be ready in case the worst happens.
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It's never too soon for that. 
Still convinced it will be close? Hmmm. Must be watching too much Fox News. Last week sometime I thought Obama might get around 350-375 in the Electoral College. I'm just about ready to predict he breaks 400. |
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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| It'll be close, either way. Everybody has someone they want to win. Big business and the military want McCain to win. Welfare abusers and terrorists want Obama to win. It'll be close. |
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Jandar
Joined: 11 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| ReeseDog wrote: |
| It'll be close, either way. Everybody has someone they want to win. Big business and the military want McCain to win. Welfare abusers and terrorists want Obama to win. It'll be close. |
By welfare abusers you mean AIG of course. |
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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By "welfare abusers" I mean the able-bodied men in this city who would rather collect food stamps than work. I mean the women downtown who have seven children, don't work, collect a fat check every month with which they make their Cadillac payments. I mean those who would rather suck the taxpayer teat than get a job. God forbid they lose their "entitlements" and have to work for a living like the rest of us. I mean those welfare abusers, wiseass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaklEq36_dk |
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I noticed that nobody denied the terrorist part of the comment. Figures. It's all right, you can say it. Everyone knows it's true. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Perhaps because it isn't worthy of comment. |
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Justin Hale
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Location: the Straight Talk Express
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| Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| ReeseDog wrote: |
| I completely agree with most of the points made. |
Same here. Well, apart from this ingenious piece of comedy....
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Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time yo u send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
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ReeseDog
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Location: Classified
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:20 am Post subject: |
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| Justin Hale wrote: |
| ReeseDog wrote: |
| I completely agree with most of the points made. |
Same here. Well, apart from this ingenious piece of comedy....
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Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time yo u send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
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Well, that's why I said "most." Some of it's a little over the top, but most of it is right on. |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:23 am Post subject: |
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| A 'little'? |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:23 am Post subject: |
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| A 'little'? |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994
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| Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:24 am Post subject: |
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| A 'little'? |
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