Korean Job Discussion Forums

[withnail]

Occurred to me recently that in many ways some of my EFL colleagues down the years can be likened unto footballer types - see if you can recognise any of these:

The David Ginola/Matt Le Tissier

So talented the sod could saw it off in spades. Effortless classroom management skills and has the students rapt in awe. The guys love him, the birds fancy him and mere mortal TEFlers are constantly narked by the squeals of laughter from his classroom. Lazy bugger though, doesn�t do a stick of prep. Everything�s internalised and slick. On form, he�s a dazzler. On an off day, or confronted by a squad of unamused Swiss students, you�d have to wipe him up off the floor when the laughter stops�

The Gary Neville

Completely the opposite of Le Diveur or Le Tiss. CELTA or DELTA hard earned by graft and relentless masochistic dedication. Complete personality bypass compensated for by rigorous prep and has the photocopier burnmarks to prove it. Few complaints from the students though, unless he has the misfortune to follow on from a course delivered by the flair players like those above.

The George Best

Slight variation of Le Ginola when he turns up. Brilliant in the classroom, the life and soul down the pub and chatter-upper of gorgeous women par excellence. Just make sure your cover teacher is on red alert�

The Bryan Robson

DoS�s wet dream. All Gary�s industry and a fair bit of Davide�s charisma. Your school is just a stepping stone to greater things. Enjoy all those positive feedback sheets while you can and hope he�ll give you an honourable mention in the first of his many publications.

The ...here you can insert the name of any of Rafa Benitez' where are they now purchases...

Slipped through the net, this one. Good refs, nice CV and talks a good game but hopelessly crap and must be a friend of a friend of the Boss..

[rich45]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

The Jody Morris: Young and enthusiastic, shows possible potential and quickly gets promoted to the university league but then makes a drunken hash of his life and finds the only employer that will take him is a small hagwon.

The Emile Heskey: The B-grade academic who can always be relied on to give a mediocre performance and make the rare useful point. In spite of much more promising options many managers would rather just try a hoof-it-to-Heskey approach.

The Juan Sebastian Veron: The super-star teacher from Japan / Taiwan / Thailand who comes to Korea and just can't fit in.

[the_beaver]

As a whole:

A whiny bunch of bastards always crying foul.

[withnail]

excellent! keep 'em coming!

[withnail]

how about the Berbatov: always whining and hankering after another job. Boss won't give 'im a letter of release though so now ee's in a permanent strop...

[withnail]

..or the Ashley Cole: won't get outta bed for less than 3mil a month. Offered 2.9 by a big Seoul Uni and nearly had to swerve 'is Hyundai off the road in a fit of disgust...

[Jimskins]

The Darren Anderton:
Looks promising at first but then fails to turn up to work citing various health problems (hangover, broken fingernail, "feeling a bit peeky") and is promptly sacked within the first month.

[Jimskins]

The Stan Collymore:
Devastatingly brilliant teacher at first and head-hunted by a niche Hogwan chain for 3 Million a month. Then begins a downward spiral of beating up his beautiful Korean girlfriend, burning Man-wons in public and dogging with fat American newbies before retiring at 30.

[withnail]

or the cristiano - threatens to quit your school all summer and has been seen in starbucks with rival principals/bosses but when he finally gets back from his vacation, he gets a clip round the ear and slapped by his contract and has to scuttle back to his classroom with his tail between his legs...

[Beeyee]

Park Ji-Sung

Tries hard but just isn't good enough.

[Xuanzang]

Eric Cantona/Roy Keane

Commanding, tough leaders but bound to fits of rage and the hairdryer treatment. May enjoy punishing students with kung fu kicks, studs up tackles among others.

[mervsdamun]

Jerzy Dudek:

Completely below par, unprepared and ineffective as a teacher. At the end of the class he wiggles his bottom and does the money dance... somehow everything bad is forgotten and everyone goes home entertained and smiling.

[head-in-the-clouds]

What kind of a hagwon director would Juande Ramos be?

[rich45]