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Foreign Teacher commits suicide
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The Lemon

Joined: 11 Jan 2003

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 2:05 am Post subject:

Apple Scruff wrote:

I don't think it was necessary to announce on this forum that a friend had committed suicide. What's done is done and all this served to do was motivate a bunch of people to search out the story and learn the poor man's name and the personal details behind his life problems. It's bad enough that these personal issues pushed him to suicide - is it really necessary that everybody and their dog find out about them, too?

I agree with this. Telling a bunch of strangers this story does no good except to turn us all into rubberneckers.

Quote:

I guess many of you have seen fake posts in the past and figured I was just trying to get a rise out you.

This is correct too. People have cried wolf here too often, for too long. That's not the OP's fault, but it's not the fault of the readers here either. Reading what's posted here with a grain of salt and a critical eye isn't a sin. It's a necessity. Enfcorp, to name one of many.

I don't blame Tiberious one bit for his comments, though he could have softened his words to cover the chance that the OP was genuine - he probably knows this now, in hindsight. And Tiberious showed far more class in his apology than those who chose to kick him to make themselves feel superior.

Tiberious aka Sparkles

Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:12 am Post subject:

The Lemon wrote:

I don't blame Tiberious one bit for his comments, though he could have softened his words to cover the chance that the OP was genuine...

Damned straight. That's my problem; when I take a big, assinine, gamble, I always end up on the losing end.

This entire "episode" has been very, very sobering. I hope this topic and thread can straighten itself and begin to resemble something close to constructiveness. If it helps those who still hold a grudge against me and my feeble-minded, initial reaction on this topic, don't worry: my conscience has already punished me more than any of you ever could hope.

I think most of us have known (or know) someone -- whether a close friend, mutual acquaintance, family member or a lover -- who has killed his or herself, or attempted to do so.

I too am not immune to this knowledge; and though I do not wish to share my own personal experience in the matter, let me acknowledge that, since my dumb-assedness was shown to me yesterday, I have been weighing the matter sorrowfully and have begun thinking deeper, more concertedly, about what responsibilities I have toward those I love -- and who are so far away that, though it hurts, a kind word now and then and my spiritual concern are I all I can give, lamentably.

Let's try to turn so much negative (death, my own idiocy, and flames) into something positive; and if not positive, then at least something half-civilized.

Please.

TakaS

DarthPaul

Joined: 17 Dec 2003

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 6:31 am Post subject:

Mankind wrote:

I live my wife to the fullest. And its pathetic that so many of you aren't angry about suicide. It is the most cowardly of acts a person can commit. It takes more balls to rob old ladies than it does to kill yourself. What do you all think is so brave about suicide? It's the act of a coward and a fool.
HAND Smile

[/quote]

I agree with that completely, except the I live my wife to the fullest...what the hell does that mean???

So yeah I've always felt suicide is a cowrds way out, an end to your personal misery, and the begining of the pain and suffering of your parents, spouses, kids, friends.

Yet I had one experience a few years ago....I started taking a Maleria preventative called larium. I was about to go to Africa. Larium can cause severe depression in some people, so its recomended you try it a few weeks before your trip to see if it affects you.

I tried it, I took 1 pill felt OK, and took another a week later... afew days later I was an absolute mess. I knew it was an artificial deression caused by the drug, yet that didn't help me feel any better. The depression only lasted a few days, and despite what I said above about suicide being a cowards way out...if my everyday life was as bad as those few days, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to take it.

The Man known as The Man

Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 9:09 am Post subject:

Corporal wrote:

dutchman wrote:

Butterfly wrote:

Possibly better places on this forum for flame wars and spelling bee debates?

Amen. A man died, show some respect.

People are dying all over the place right this second. Are we supposed to stop living, bow our heads, and maintain a respectful silence? Don't be silly. Or does the fact that it's in your own backyard make it more important?

OF course.

Son Deureo!

Joined: 30 Apr 2003

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 10:17 am Post subject:

TheUrbanMyth wrote:

Anyway if this story is true, (I haven't seen anything like this on MBC) my condolences to the OP and apologies for doubting him.

Why are you still doubting that this happened? I have linked to a story in the Korean news media and translated it for you, unless you think more than one American hogwon teacher. If you can't understand the Korean and you do not trust my translation, follow the link and get a Korean speaking friend to help you, or at least run it through Babelfish.

Like it or not, the suicide of a hogwon teacher is not a front-page national newsworthy event.

I never fail to get pissed off when people start wringing their hands at the news of a suicide about how "cowardly" the deceased was. A suicidal person is in such pain and misery that he can't stand to go on, and his feelings of worthlessness outweigh the love he has for those around him. Maybe there's nothing particularly brave about it, but some people just aren't as strong as you are. I hope that makes you feel better about yourself, but it certainly didn't help the man in question here.

Last edited by Son Deureo! on Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

Mankind

Joined: 18 Jan 2003

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 4:59 pm Post subject:

Quote:

except the I live my wife to the fullest...what the hell does that mean???

Freud said something about it once *life*. Didn't know I could slip while writing.

HAND Smile

paul

Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Taiwan

Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 7:25 pm Post subject:

I had a very emotional relationship with my former Korean GF. At no time did I contemplate suicide, but her mother died one month into our relationship, which put pressure on me to make sure she stayed stable and had a lot of love an affection. The latter I would have given her anyway because I really fell for her. But when the parent of your BF/GF dies, there is always added stress (her father had died 10 years earlier). And if you're not there for them when they are feeling low, then you feel like a heel. So like I said, added pressure. We lived together for a while because it was mutually beneficial. However, her mood swings were like tidal waves and it became a major distraction, and I believe that her mother's death will have a profound affect on the rest of her life. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to be the "rock" that she needed. But when we were "on", our relationship was one of the most personal, romantic and sexual that I have ever experienced. In the end, her outrageous drinking habits and my wandering eye broke things down. I still think about her often ( I am in Taiwan now), because we almost patched things up. But her being Korean made things much less likely that we would ever get married. She never did tell her family about me, even though we lived together for 8 months. They knew we were involved, but not as roomies. This may not be directly related to the ESL teacher's suicide, but I do know that living with or being deeply involved with a Korean woman will test any man's emotional strength.

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