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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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 Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:35 am Post subject: Just called it off with the K-girlfriend |
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and she was not happy. she even told me she can't accept it.
i was nice about it and said im sorry, and it's not your fault, and i listened to everything she had to say. i'm in America now and she had been planning on coming here. i'm in a small town (not just by Korean standards, but by American standards) and she wouldn't have liked living here. marriage is the only way to make her feel comfortable in a place like this, and i certainly can't do that. if she's willing to move for me, and give up everything for me, but i won't marry her or move there for her, isn't this the only way to do this?
will stalking ensue? what is the typical Korean reaction in a situation like this? similar stories must be out there. |
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red_devil
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:39 am Post subject: |
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Does she know which town you're in? If she comes to America + YOUR town, you know you got yer self a live one. Let the panic begin.  |
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caniff
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: All over the map
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:42 am Post subject: Re: Just called it off with the K-girlfriend |
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| waltjocketty wrote: |
| will stalking ensue? |
You mean her physically stalking you? You're in the States, she's in Korea, right? I don't see how that's gonna happen unless she hops a plane. She's not crazy, is she? |
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ttompatz
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Location: Kwangju, South Korea
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:45 am Post subject: Re: Just called it off with the K-girlfriend |
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| waltjocketty wrote: |
and she was not happy. she even told me she can't accept it.
i was nice about it and said im sorry, and it's not your fault, and i listened to everything she had to say. i'm in America now and she had been planning on coming here. i'm in a small town (not just by Korean standards, but by American standards) and she wouldn't have liked living here. marriage is the only way to make her feel comfortable in a place like this, and i certainly can't do that. if she's willing to move for me, and give up everything for me, but i won't marry her or move there for her, isn't this the only way to do this?
will stalking ensue? what is the typical Korean reaction in a situation like this? similar stories must be out there. |
You're in the states and she is in Korea?
No worry mate. They haven't concluded the visa waiver yet so she will be a while before she gets on the plane. Lots of time for her to pop down to Hongdae and find a new green card sponsor.
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crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:46 am Post subject: |
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You know she's bluffing until she calls you from North America.
Then, you want to either relocate or slap her around as if you were an adjosshi on a Tuesday night after too much soju; FIGHTING |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:50 am Post subject: Re: Just called it off with the K-girlfriend |
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| caniff wrote: |
| waltjocketty wrote: |
| will stalking ensue? |
You mean her physically stalking you? You're in the States, she's in Korea, right? I don't see how that's gonna happen unless she hops a plane. She's not crazy, is she? |
That's the question. |
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Suwon23
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:12 am Post subject: |
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At first I was just going to be snarky and ask you which city she lives in and what's her favorite flower... But suddenly a legitimate question occurs:
Why did you wait till returning to the States to reject her? Breaking up with someone over the phone is a dick move, and doing it from another country is even dickier. Right now she probably feels like you're laughing at her "Ha, dumb chick! I was just using her for the time being, like when Michael Corleone went to Sicily, and now there's nothing she can do to stop me from moving on to the next girl! Hell, I had no intention of staying with her, and snuck off to America so I wouldn't have to see her face when the truth came out." I'm sure that's not the case, but that's one of the many, many painful imaginings running through her head right now. Why didn't you call it off before you left?
Jerk. |
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ldh2222
Joined: 12 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:17 am Post subject: |
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| Sounds like hit-it-and-quit-it to me. Good job mate. |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| Suwon23 wrote: |
At first I was just going to be snarky and ask you which city she lives in and what's her favorite flower... But suddenly a legitimate question occurs:
Why did you wait till returning to the States to reject her? Breaking up with someone over the phone is a dick move, and doing it from another country is even dickier. Right now she probably feels like you're laughing at her "Ha, dumb chick! I was just using her for the time being, like when Michael Corleone went to Sicily, and now there's nothing she can do to stop me from moving on to the next girl! Hell, I had no intention of staying with her, and snuck off to America so I wouldn't have to see her face when the truth came out." I'm sure that's not the case, but that's one of the many, many painful imaginings running through her head right now. Why didn't you call it off before you left?
Jerk. |
I guess I didn't explain that we've been trying to make things work for the past 3 months over the phone and internet, and the stress of that has caused almost daily fights as of late. I'm in school and can't put the effort into the relationship that I thought I could previously. I also didn't realize just how isolated this school is, to the extent that she would not be able to have a job in this town but would have to drive at least 25 minutes to find a place to work. I've explained all of that to her, and I think that, given the effort I put in to move to Korea for her last year and all the studying I did as well, she won't be able to convince herself that I have been planning this the whole time and that she is a sucker. I know what you mean, though, and I wish this didn't have to have happened over the phone or while I was in America. |
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Suwon23
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:35 am Post subject: |
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| waltjocketty wrote: |
| Suwon23 wrote: |
At first I was just going to be snarky and ask you which city she lives in and what's her favorite flower... But suddenly a legitimate question occurs:
Why did you wait till returning to the States to reject her? Breaking up with someone over the phone is a dick move, and doing it from another country is even dickier. Right now she probably feels like you're laughing at her "Ha, dumb chick! I was just using her for the time being, like when Michael Corleone went to Sicily, and now there's nothing she can do to stop me from moving on to the next girl! Hell, I had no intention of staying with her, and snuck off to America so I wouldn't have to see her face when the truth came out." I'm sure that's not the case, but that's one of the many, many painful imaginings running through her head right now. Why didn't you call it off before you left?
Jerk. |
I guess I didn't explain that we've been trying to make things work for the past 3 months over the phone and internet, and the stress of that has caused almost daily fights as of late. I'm in school and can't put the effort into the relationship that I thought I could previously. I also didn't realize just how isolated this school is, to the extent that she would not be able to have a job in this town but would have to drive at least 25 minutes to find a place to work. I've explained all of that to her, and I think that, given the effort I put in to move to Korea for her last year and all the studying I did as well, she won't be able to convince herself that I have been planning this the whole time and that she is a sucker. I know what you mean, though, and I wish this didn't have to have happened over the phone or while I was in America. |
Fair enough, but let me see if I follow you.
A long distance relationship isn't working...
... so you cancel your plans for her to come to your city.
Man, at least let her visit. Maybe she'll like the countryside (it's certainly nicer than Korean countryside, which is stinky and financially humiliating). Maybe the cessation of long-distance communications will mean a cessation of fighting. I've been in that situation before, and I know what you mean about stress and fights.
Where is your school, anyway? It makes a big difference whether it's in the armpit of Mississippi or some college town in Massachusetts. |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:39 am Post subject: |
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| in central vermont. |
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EuroFunk
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
Location: jobless in Busan
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: |
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| If your girl has a good knowledge of English, I would bend over and kiss my ass goodbye, but seriously, I wouldn't sweat it too much. |
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nuthatch
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:15 am Post subject: |
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hey waltjocketty,
I know where you are. I lived there many years ago.
I always liked living there...lots of music.
Sounds like you made the right move with the gf. She would not understand living there.
Good luck with your studies. |
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Tommy
Joined: 24 Aug 2005
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:40 am Post subject: |
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| crusher_of_heads wrote: |
| ...or slap her around as if you were an adjosshi on a Tuesday night after too much soju; FIGHTING |
Classic! Hahah... |
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waltjocketty
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:47 am Post subject: |
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| nuthatch wrote: |
hey waltjocketty,
I know where you are. I lived there many years ago.
I always liked living there...lots of music.
Sounds like you made the right move with the gf. She would not understand living there.
Good luck with your studies. |
Good to hear that.
Fishman is playing at Flynn in a couple weeks. Possibly the best thing about being here vs. Korea is the ridiculous amount of intimate shows in and around Burlington. Too bad the snow is already covering the roads, though. |
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