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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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Dating, Westerners vs. Korean
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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 Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:30 am Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
Attraction isn't something you can control so if you like thin women, then you like thin women. But complaining about overweight women when you're obese yourself is hypocritical...don't you think? There's a saying that goes something like this...practice what you preach. In any case, it's not just about looks but about lifestyle. Your body is a temple and needs to be treated as such and to me, obesity is a slow form of suicide. |
No, its not hypocritical at all...
I dont complain about fat women on planes while travelling on planes myself...
I complain about the numbers of fat women because im not attracted to fat women..Im not saying anything against fat people themselves, but simply at the fact there are so many fat women here..
Practice what I preach? You think I should try to become a woman that I would find attractive? |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| Im an obese guy and I complain about the multitude of fat western women because I dont find fat people attractive.. I would imagine most fat women do not find fat men attractive either. |
I would have to agree with Starla on this one....
| Starla wrote: |
| But complaining about overweight women when you're obese yourself is hypocritical...don't you think? There's a saying that goes something like this...practice what you preach. |
I understand if you don't find fat people to be attractive, I'm female and I am not attracted to heavier guys either...In fact I go so far to think this pic of Jeff Daniels is "fat"...
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a382/mssinmymind/jeff-daniels.jpg
No, really, I KNOW he's not by any means really fat but in my idea of "sexual attraction" his lil tummy pooching over the belt is enough to make me NOT sexually attracted to him....I will say I absolutely LOVE his work though.
But my point is...though I don't find him attractive, I'm not going to go out of my way to insult him, to point out that he's a bit over weight for my taste, or to even bother complaining to others about his weight....who gives a f*********k, I mean seriously. And more importantly I'm not going to avoid the chance to get to know him, because he's not what I would consider Eff-able.....ya get what I mean ?
BTW, my post isn't really pointed at you Css, per se, but at everyone in general...verbally stressing your dislike towards another human based on "physical" appearance is IMO very lame...and tells me there are flaws in yourself..that you probably should deal with in private....
Last edited by mssinmymind on Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:07 am; edited 2 times in total |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| I complain about the numbers of fat women because im not attracted to fat women..Im not saying anything against fat people themselves, but simply at the fact there are so many fat women here.. |
Are there seriously so many that you feel the need to point it out....I'm confused...Are you equally disgusted by the number of fat males as well ? Are you currently doing anything to improve your own "physical" appearance so that the women in your area might have a "better looking" partner as well...or do you expect that it is only the women who need to conform to your expectations ? |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:25 am Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
But my point is...though I don't find him attractive, I'm not going to go out of my way to insult him, to point out that he's a bit over weight for my taste, or to even bother complaining to others about his weight....who gives a f*********k, I mean seriously. And more importantly I'm not going to avoid the chance to get to know him, because he's not what I would consider Eff-able.....ya get what I mean ?
BTW, my post isn't really pointed at you Css, per se, but at everyone in general...verbally stressing your dislike towards another human based on "physical" appearance is IMO very lame...and tells me there are flaws in yourself..that you probably should deal with in private.... |
Firstly, I also think he looks fat in that pic but I too think hes great.
Secondly, would you do me a favor and check the title of the thread you are posting in right now? As far as I know, this is a thread that is SPECIFICALLY about dating and within that, about westerners V koreans.
Ive never gone out of my way to insult overweight western girls and I have zero problem with being friends with them...but this is a thread about dating and why we might prefer dating the people we do...
If I had been posting comments about fat western women in some random thread, you would have had a good point..but in here? Not so much. |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:28 am Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
Are there seriously so many that you feel the need to point it out....I'm confused...Are you equally disgusted by the number of fat males as well ? Are you currently doing anything to improve your own "physical" appearance so that the women in your area might have a "better looking" partner as well...or do you expect that it is only the women who need to conform to your expectations ? |
The majority of western women I see in korea are overweight. So yes, that makes it necessary for me to point it out in a thread about dating western/korean women.
I dont think I said I was 'disgusted' by the number of overweight western women here...while I do find it rather depressing that so many western males here are overweight, I dont find it as problematic as the number of western females...Do you know why? Because I do not date men, western or otherwise. Therefore have no need to talk bout them in a thread about who I like to date and why.
Not that its relevant but yes, I am changing my appearance. |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:42 am Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| Secondly, would you do me a favor and check the title of the thread you are posting in right now? As far as I know, this is a thread that is SPECIFICALLY about dating and within that, about westerners V koreans. - this is a thread about dating and why we might prefer dating the people we do... |
Haha funny thing is...I am the one who started this thread  I know what it's about...
The convo sort of got side tracked (at least for me) when you stated:
| Css wrote: |
| Im an obese guy and I complain about the multitude of fat western women because I dont find fat people attractive. |
We got off on the complaint of multitudes of fat western women.....should've taken that one to the "fattie-fat-fat-fat" thread eh ?
As I stated earlier, it wasn't a dig at you personally...but an in general... |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:47 am Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| I do find it rather depressing that so many western males here are overweight, I dont find it as problematic as the number of western females...Do you know why? Because I do not date men, western or otherwise. |
Ok, point taken...we're totally off the subject by continuing. |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:49 am Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
| The convo sort of got side tracked (at least for me) when you stated: |
Theres no need to take it personally. I have no idea what you, or any of the women on this forum look like so its not aimed at you guys..Just fat girls in general. Im not gonna apologise for not finding them attractive. I just cant help it.
 Im a fat western dude and I have no problem with women on this forum talking about how many fat disgusting western dudes there are here... because its true..
Today I saw 3 foreigners. One was a good looking, tall, slim black dude...The other two were female behemoths gorging themselves in burger king.
The western guys in korea are just as bad as the girls...and just as good as the girls. The majority of westerners in korea are kinda weird...overweight or massively underweight, nerdy or socially inept..or plain creepy..
Personally I fit almost all of those labels..and i have no problem admitting that. |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:50 am Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
Ok, point taken...we're totally off the subject by continuing. |
doh...shoulda refreshed before i posted the last one |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:15 am Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| Im not gonna apologise for not finding them attractive. I just cant help it. |
Please don't. You definately are allowed to state who you are attracted to..that's the point of this thread.
I too, said I wasn't attracted to heavier guys.
| Css wrote: |
| The majority of westerners in korea are kinda weird...overweight or massively underweight, nerdy or socially inept..or plain creepy.. |
I have a bit off topic question but it's pertaining some what to your comment..
I have come across several school sites and most of them expect the applicant to send in photos alone with thier resumes. I even found one site that was honest enough to state that your physical appearance would be a great consideration...
How is it that so many, overly obese westerners are getting these jobs then ? I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm just thinking about the walking, upstairs apartments etc... |
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Css
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Location: South of the river
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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| mssinmymind wrote: |
How is it that so many, overly obese westerners are getting these jobs then ? I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm just thinking about the walking, upstairs apartments etc... |
Thats how they roll in korea..Photos are required for most job aps. Im not sure how hagwons and the like make their hiring choices but I would imagine a well dressed, presentable fat guy would be preferable to a unkempt, messy, badly dressed slim guy, all other things being equal.
I think I only used the word obese to describe myself. I have not seen many actual obese people here, just lots of overweight people.
Seoul has one of the best public transport systems ive ever seen...You dont have to walk anywhere really..and taxis are cheap too...
I dont think ive ever seen an apartment building without elevators. |
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Starla
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Css wrote: |
| Starla wrote: |
Attraction isn't something you can control so if you like thin women, then you like thin women. But complaining about overweight women when you're obese yourself is hypocritical...don't you think? There's a saying that goes something like this...practice what you preach. In any case, it's not just about looks but about lifestyle. Your body is a temple and needs to be treated as such and to me, obesity is a slow form of suicide. |
No, its not hypocritical at all...
I dont complain about fat women on planes while travelling on planes myself...
I complain about the numbers of fat women because im not attracted to fat women..Im not saying anything against fat people themselves, but simply at the fact there are so many fat women here..
Practice what I preach? You think I should try to become a woman that I would find attractive? |
By practice what you preach, I mean that if you want a thin woman, you should become thin too. It's not fair to her and it is hypocritical. Why? It says you don't care about your appearance and health as much as she does. She's trying her best to look good for you and stay healthy for you and you're not doing your part if you don't reciprocate. It's an unfair tradeoff.
I know of a few unbalanced couples where one person is thin and the other overweight and in all the cases, the thin person is frustrated with the overweight person for not going out and doing things with them because their feet hurt or they get tired quickly, for acting lazy in general (their words, not mine) and for for not taking care of themselves health-wise. Their weight problem is a huge obstacle to leading the kind of active lifestyle that the thin partners are accustomed to leading. They are much better suited for someone overweight like themselves.
If an overweight guy is dating a thin woman, she has other motives. Most people date within their own league and are unwilling to date less attractive people after they've dated those who are within their league or better looking. |
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mssinmymind
Joined: 12 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
| Most people date within their own league and are unwilling to date less attractive people after they've dated those who are within their league or better looking. |
Now that, I don't think I agree with. I have seen SO many "odd-coupled" couples in many places...US, EUROPE, LATIN AMERICA...It always seems a bit odd, one would be thin -one heavy..one good looking - one not so good looking, one tall - one short, one well kept - one grungy looking....there's all kinds.
The guy that I just recently broke it off with was IMO a down to earth, laid back country 'fellow' and his 'now' ex was very much a city woman, very biz like..and IMO again, very beautiful. They just didn't mix.
So to each his own...I do agree that it seems more fair if both in the relationship tried thier very best to maintain a nice appearance if they expect the other to do the same. |
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IlIlNine
Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Gunpo, Gyonggi, SoKo
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
By practice what you preach, I mean that if you want a thin woman, you should become thin too. It's not fair to her and it is hypocritical. Why? It says you don't care about your appearance and health as much as she does. She's trying her best to look good for you and stay healthy for you and you're not doing your part if you don't reciprocate. It's an unfair tradeoff.
I know of a few unbalanced couples where one person is thin and the other overweight and in all the cases, the thin person is frustrated with the overweight person for not going out and doing things with them because their feet hurt or they get tired quickly, for acting lazy in general (their words, not mine) and for for not taking care of themselves health-wise. Their weight problem is a huge obstacle to leading the kind of active lifestyle that the thin partners are accustomed to leading. They are much better suited for someone overweight like themselves.
If an overweight guy is dating a thin woman, she has other motives. Most people date within their own league and are unwilling to date less attractive people after they've dated those who are within their league or better looking. |
Eh.. you're reaching.. and your whole paragraph reeks of western stereotypes.
What exactly do you mean by overweight? Surely not the Jeff Daniels pic above... who says he doesn't lead an active life?
Anyways, since we're talking about Korean vs. Western dating - this is an important point:
Korean women (thin or otherwise) are usually (ime) not in the greatest shape. However, a lot of Korean women don't like guys that are too thin. Perhaps it's a hold-over from poorer days, but I have heard this from many many women here. A bit of a belly on a guy (korean or western) is seen as something desirable by enough women that having one may very well be an advantage! The image of 'health' is different here than back home.
I don't really get what you're saying in the above quote... seriously, unless you're talking about extreme obesity I just don't see it. A bit of fat on a person doesn't really say that much about what shape they're in. A lot of thin people are out of shape and some chubby people can run up and down a mountain in impressive speed without joint pain.
Everything else is just personal taste. |
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Ruraljuror
Joined: 08 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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Poor, poor Jeff Daniels. What did he do to deserve all this?  |
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