Korean Job Discussion Forums

[maddog]

We came into work today and noticed that all the Koreans were wearing black. My boss told us that a co-worker's grandmother had died, and that we HAD TO go to the funeral!

I don't wanna offend my co-worker, but I feel that being ordered to go to a complete stanger's funeral is a serious imposition.

I've twice said that I'm not going, and twice been told that I have to go. Should I stick to my guns, or should I cave in for the sake of saving face?

Thanks

MD

[blurgalurgalurga]

Hey, didn't you come here to enjoy the cultural differences and experience another way of life?

Yeah, me neither...but on the bright side, they do let you pee in a cup, if you want to, when you're in a Popeye's fried chicken restaurant.

[ciccone_youth]

sounds like you had a bad last couple of days with the popeye's experience and funeral!

i have no idea what you should do...

[blurgalurgalurga]

You should go there and pee in a cup.

[BS.Dos.]

My GF in her Hagwon last year had to attend a funeral at very short notice.

She went and scored points.

[maddog]

I'll survive the Popeye incident, but being dragged to a total stanger's funeral at 11pm does not float my boat.

[ciccone_youth]

[Adventurer]

[EzeWong]

Go,

You'll sour your relationship with all your co-workers if you don't.

Some people will aruge on "principals" that you should stand up for your rights, not give in, not be swayed by Korean culture etc etc. Terrible reasons really as they have no effect on the quality of your life. No ones gonna give you a medal because you didn't attend a funeral. In fact, on principal it's actually quite shameful that you wouldn't give an hour of your day to pay respects. Unless of course you're spending that hour saving a busload of children falling from a cliff, but let's be honest like me you're probably going to waste that hour melting on the couch. Just cut out some useless free time that you have.

Personally, I'm more of a realist in this regard. If you don't go, your co-workers may not hate you, but they'll have ammunition against you. They may never fire the gun at you, but why give them that power over you?

I'm speaking from life experience here. I've skipped out on company picnics, outings, invites to peoples houses... etc. All of it becomes "oh EzeWong doesn't want to come". Oh he's not social... etc. It'll affect your reputation and worse yet, if you need hookup with a co-worker for future jobs, you won't exactly be at the top of the list.

There's some weird misconception that people have about "not caring what other people think". Sure it doesn't matter what they think, but what they can do to you later really does matter.

[crusher_of_heads]

This is not a fight worth winning.

You will be remembered by many people for the wrong reason, even though you would be in the right; go to the funeral.

[marlow]

How did you say no? That can matter.

Anyway, I wouldn't go. My grandfather died when I was here in Korea. Not only could I not go to the funeral (too far, not enough time), I don't think my co-workers even knew. I don't care. They didn't know him.

MUST is a bullshit word.

[maddog]

This is looking like a tough call.

If it makes any difference, I am leaving in exactly three weeks. Then again, I don't wanna appear to be guy who has stopped giving a fukk because he is leaving.

[marlow]

[jcan]

How long do Korean funerals last anyway? If they last as long as weddings you'll be in and out.

As long as it wasn't on a weekend I'd go.

[Jandar]

If it's during normal work hours, go why not free food I think maybe even beer.

If it's not during work hours screw them, did they go to your grandmothers funeral?