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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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 Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:50 am Post subject: |
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I read that. It seems the govt does like the institution of marriage. But, marriage can work in your favor too.
I didn't marry until after the freedom years. 30 was a good age for me. But, now married I have much more money, can whoare it up with the wife anytime I like, Baby, and have a slab to sleep on when I get wasted = no more street sleeps and seedy stuff.
Actually, statistically, married men with two children share higher household incomes than all other group types. That's why I think marriage is in many ways liberating, rather than crushing.
Last edited by Cheonmunka on Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:58 am; edited 1 time in total |
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ED209
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:52 am Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
| If you want a lonely existence and die alone on your deathbed, suffering through all of life's hardships with nobody to help you through them then yes, marriage is dumb. Otherwise, I think it's a beautiful thing. |
Including divorce
Sometimes marriage can make those things worse. The prisons would have quite a few less inmates if it weren't for marriage. Still, well done if you can make it work. |
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Justin Hale
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Location: the Straight Talk Express
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| Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| itaewonguy wrote: |
I see what you are saying, but lets not bring gods law into this.
lets talk about Human laws as we have made the laws which govern marriage and killing etc from state to state or country to country.
if we have to much freedom wouldnt we abuse it? |
Well, this is complete speculation, I admit, but I'm gonna guess that (a) the people who abuse freedom (which includes all crimes except illicit drug-use) do so regardless of any laws - celestial or earthly (and, actually, there's a mass of evidence that believers commit more crimes than atheists because the believers tend to be less intelligent and less educated and of the lower classes), (b) the people who refuse to abuse freedom would continue this because of beliefs as to basic decency, common sense, etc, (c) a tiny minority only - of people generally, believers and nonbelievers alike, if any - would become meth-addicted, incestuous rapists and axe-murderers. 
| Itaewonguy wrote: |
mean look at a classroom full of kids.. if you dont have any rules and laws the children will do what ever they please right?
in a sense the teacher is GOD..
and eventually it will get totally chaotic and out of control without your rules... |
Using kids as an example in the context of adult behavior is a poor example, in my opinion. Generally people of all belief systems - Muslim, atheist, Christian, whatthefuckever - settle down and get with the program long before they're 30.
| Itaewonguy wrote: |
so incase of marriage rules, to keep the role playing game of marriage or boy friend girl friend there needs to be rules to the game right??
if there are no rules, then its do what ever you like based on your own morals!
Example: I date a girl, I accept her to be faithful, but I am allowed to see other women becuase morally thats ok with me..
or
I am married and I can have affairs when ever I chose becuase I am a man . morally thats fine with me... How do moral laws get created by man when all men have different morals? and it seems society creates morals from a man who set the tone in that area...
you get where I am coming from?..
I am not talking about gods law.. becuase gods law is ignored in marriage everyday anyway.. all rules and laws are broken everyday...
with all the new found freedom humans should have Im just wondering what will the rules of the marriage game be! |
No, because of family law.
Marriages, whether you're a religious loony or an atheist, whether you're sober as a judge or drunk as a lord, whether you're X or Y, are all subject to family law in the given country, hence the rule of law.
In Saudi Arabia, where women are universally regarded as subhuman, women have almost no rights in a marriage. In America, or other remotely decent and sane society, women share pretty much equal rights with men in a marriage.
Saudi is prolly the most religious society on Earth, whereas "remotely decent and sane societies" are secular, so it's always 100% odd to see religion stated to be some kind of guarantor of morality, given that morality for the most part occurs in direct opposition to religion. |
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Rae
Joined: 10 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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| itaewonguy wrote: |
if there are no rules, then its do what ever you like based on your own morals! |
Exactly! That's why you have to find someone that has similar moral views.
There was another thread about this topic a few months ago (the time I was awaiting my late Visa): http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=125836&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=marriage&start=0
Interestingly enough, I was ranting back then how I'd never get married unless I see children in the picture. A lot has changed in just a few months and I definitely want children now, but still unsure about marriage. We're looking for houses, talk about kids all the time, and at one point, I was actually looking up wedding venues until I realized it was mainly prompted by wanting to save money while incorporating it into a vacation back home (lol). That lasted for a good 2 days until reality hit.
Do I love him? Yes. Do I think he's 'thee one'? Hell yes, and I'm so lucky for it. But, I'm scared marriage with fck it all up with adding "ideal" roles into the mix. We both believe that marriage is good for children, but still.
I think society's and the government's views on the marriage is a very important factor. We plan on living in a country with about 50% of unwed mothers -- but unlike the States, it means the 'baby daddy' is also living with the family, just unwed. There are also no tax cuts for marriages there, hence why it's more accepted. |
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Faunaki
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Marriage rocks. Yah yah, I'm a newbie. Still I wouldn't go back to single life in a million years. |
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simonandmartina
Joined: 20 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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I know too many single people here in Korea who are hate their lives here. Then they see how easy the married couples are having it here. My wife and I haven't a complaint.
So +1 for marriage.
Anyhow, before I got married I hated the idea of marriage as well, and wrote posts like this on other boards, essays and other marginalia about why the concept of marriage sucks. I wrote about this constantly for years. Then I met my wife to be and ripped up every one of those goddamn papers.
There's no logic to it, no reasoning. It goes counter to what you believe and understand...but, when you found the person you're supposed to marry then whoooooaaa there's not enough logic in the world to go against your marriage.
And there's also the overwhelming fact that being single sucked. |
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