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The sad, sad state of college English
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:49 pm    Post subject: The sad, sad state of college English Reply with quote

Someone emailed this to me. Thought it was interesting.

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The sad, sad state of college English
By Michael Olesker

Some people collect sports memorabilia, or rare coins, or sea shells from
the beach at Ocean City. Wilson Watson collects sentences.

He taught local community college students for 35 years and has now slipped
gently into retirement. But his students' sentences trail behind him like
ship's anchors, evidence of the sinking of American writing skills.

Or, as one of Watson's scholars wrote so succinctly: "Some people use bad
language and is not even aware of the fact."

Or, another: "It's good I'm doing something with my self; Therefore, I can
do better in the foochure."

Or, "People who murder a lot of people are called masked murderers."

Some of this feels like masked murder of the English language � such as the
student who explained in a note, "I was absent on Monday because I was
stopped on the Beltway for erotic driving."

Watson taught English at Catonsville Community College � now the Catonsville
branch of the Community College of Baltimore County � and through the years
was occasionally amused and sometimes appalled at his students' writing.
Eventually, he started jotting down their sentences and holding onto them.

"Understand," he says, "this is not just Catonsville I'm talking about.
Through the years, I'd talk with colleagues all over the state. They all had
the same stories. We'd ask each other, 'What's happened to writing? What's
happened to language?'"

You want more examples? How about these beauties:

� "The person was an innocent by standard, who just happened to be the
victim of your friend's careless responsibility."
� "Society has moved toward cereal killers."
� "Romeo and Juliet exchanged their vowels."
� "Willie Loman put Biff on a petal stool."
� "Another effect of smoking is it may give you cancer of the thought."
� "The children of lesbian couples receive as much neutering as those of
other couples."

Or, when asked to use the past tense of "fly" in a sentence: "I flought to
Chicago."

Some sentences reflect a lack not only of basic thought, but also of
historical awareness. Such as:

� "Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite."
� "Christopher Columbus sailed all over the world until he found Ohio."
� "Many attempt to blame Kurt Schmoke for the decline in the population, yet
Donald Schaefer suffered the same oral deal."
� "Michaelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel."

"All these sentences," Watson says, "were written by college students who
were not intending to be funny. But they don't read much any more, and they
haven't had much exposure to language. And it's gotten worse over the years.

"The thing that's really concerned many of us is the inability of many
students to think clearly. It's reflected in their writing. Some of it's
just gibberish. It reads as if written by someone for whom English is a
second language, with mixed-up phrases and ideas. You ask them what they
mean, and they can't tell you verbally, either."

The result is students saying things they clearly don't intend to say, or
spelling things that make their sentences take on entirely new meanings. For
example:

� "Keith helps me to have good self-a-steam."
� "For example, one homeless person lives under a bride in Lanham, Md."
� "Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."
� "Including snakes, most people consume six meals a day."
� "The French benefits of this job are good."
� "Christopher Columbus discovered America while sailing in Spain."

"Most students," says Watson, "make it clear that they don't like to read,
and they don't want to read. Many struggled tremendously with their reading.
So they just wouldn't do it. And yet it's so important.

"When you read, you get to see the language used correctly, and you're
exposed to a range of vocabulary far beyond your own. I listen to students
today, and the number of words they use is limited to slang and
colloquialisms.

"Also, we live in a culture where everything moves so quickly that you don't
have time to think about it. Reading lets you slow things down and think
about them. But, because they don't want to read, you get sentences like
these."

� "Jogging is excellent exercise anywhere, but I prefer to jog in a warm
climax."
� "My brother and I took a fairy across to Martha's Vineyard."
� "A very good thing for your health is the Arabic exercise."

"I should point out," says Watson, "that there are differences in students.
Adult students � of whom there are many � are very willing to do the kind of
work you need to do. They've had experience in the workplace and know what
it takes to succeed.

"And international students � from Russia, from Africa, from the Middle East
� they really, really work hard."
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blurgalurgalurga



Joined: 18 Oct 2007

PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think a couple of those were spellcheck insertions, but still, there is gold there.

I wonder if the student really was pulled over for erotic driving?
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Underwaterbob



Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito

PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Considering he was teaching there for 35 years I'd hardly call his collection of abysmal English indicative of the whole. Even great writers make the occasional boneheaded mistake. I'm sure he has just as many decent to great examples that just aren't as funny as these.

But yeah, funny..
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Privateer



Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read a book full of gems like these when I was a kid. It was published in my grandfather's time.

Plus c'est change.

Edit: of course, the mistakes in *that* book were supposed from kids in secondary school. I guess you can have mass higher education but it doesn't mean mass higher intelligence.
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Juregen



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Privateer wrote:
I read a book full of gems like these when I was a kid. It was published in my grandfather's time.

Plus c'est change.

Edit: of course, the mistakes in *that* book were supposed from kids in secondary school. I guess you can have mass higher education but it doesn't mean mass higher intelligence.


Plus �a change. Razz
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peppermint



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm taking a lit course or two right now, mostly for kicks. A few days ago, one of the profs was going over the papers with us, and really harped on spell check and it's untrustworthiness. One of my classmates had written something about, "exploding in furry" Laughing
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:02 am    Post subject: Re: The sad, sad state of college English Reply with quote

jajdude wrote:
"Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."

yeah, you gotta be careful Laughing
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Privateer



Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Juregen wrote:
Privateer wrote:
I read a book full of gems like these when I was a kid. It was published in my grandfather's time.

Plus c'est change.

Edit: of course, the mistakes in *that* book were supposed from kids in secondary school. I guess you can have mass higher education but it doesn't mean mass higher intelligence.


Plus �a change. Razz


Damnation.
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santafly



Joined: 20 Feb 2008

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One day, back in 5th grade, I was proofreading another students science assignment.

I pointed out to him that he had written orgasm in place of organism. He said "what is that" just as the bell rang and the teacher snapped up our papers - before a correction could be made. It still makes me smile.
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cangel



Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: Jeonju, S. Korea

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It does appear that overall language ability has been in a steady decline not just in America but around the world. I am often flabbergasted by the state of journalism these days in how poorly 'professional' writers write. That being said, I am as guilty as the next person for being sloppy at times and making simple spelling and grammatical errors. I agree that a teacher that spends 35 years in the classroom should easily have enough linguistic fodder to fill a book.
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Privateer



Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a common complaint in Japan and Korea too that the younger generation are illiterates who only know internet-speak.
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John_ESL_White



Joined: 12 Nov 2008

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

community college in the states is mostly for high school drop outs getting their HS equivelency diploma and those studying for vocations like auto body repair, culinary arts (cooking at McDs), etc.

The guy taught at a community college. What does he expect from writers who have to take his class so they can graduate with a certificate that lets them clean other peoples' teeth?
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oskinny1



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
Location: Right behind you!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

John_ESL_White wrote:

The guy taught at a community college. What does he expect from writers who have to take his class so they can graduate with a certificate that lets them clean other peoples' teeth?


Yes. This is what I came to say.
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jajdude



Joined: 18 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Privateer wrote:
It's a common complaint in Japan and Korea too that the younger generation are illiterates who only know internet-speak.


It's bigger than that. Check out the widespread misuse of apostrophes everywhere, on this site too by English teachers, by native speakers, for a small example of how poorly the general public writes these days.

We have more knowledge than ever and it is so easy to access. Oddly, people seem to be getting dumber.

That could be a misperception, if that's a word.
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simpleminds



Joined: 04 May 2006

PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jajdude wrote:
Privateer wrote:
It's a common complaint in Japan and Korea too that the younger generation are illiterates who only know internet-speak.


It's bigger than that. Check out the widespread misuse of apostrophes everywhere, on this site too by English teachers, by native speakers, for a small example of how poorly the general public writes these days.

We have more knowledge than ever and it is so easy to access. Oddly, people seem to be getting dumber.

That could be a misperception, if that's a word.


Not just writing, but also speech, what with the likes of Paris Hilton and her ilk touting their dumbness all over Tellyland. Like, totally, it's really bad, you know. Seriously bad, you know?
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