Korean Job Discussion Forums

[whatever]

Jeez, can't believe that I'm writing this, but I'm actually thinking of taking the plunge. I'm from N. America and the lady is, well, Korean. Not in a huge hurry to actually marry, but engagement is something that I'm comfortable with at this point. I'm completely serious, but just want to make things official. I'm 99.999% certain the answer would be an enthusiastic 'yes'...

I don't even really know how Koreans go about proposing. I know I don't have to do it 'their way', but I'd like to demonstrate at least an awareness of local customs.

How did you go about it? What's important to know? What's certain to make a memorable impact? I know every situation is different, and I do have an imagination of my own.....thoughts? Thanks~

[Easter Clark]

Forgive me for asking, but have you guys talked about marriage? When I proposed it was merely a formality. We had discussed marriage for quite awhile beforehand, getting a feel for what each of us expects a marriage to be, and deciding what we want out of the deal.

One important thing, though, is to have a time frame or plan about where you're going to live (short-term at least). Where will you live after the wedding? Will you have to find a new place to accommodate the two of you? In my experience, these things need to be sorted out before marriage can even be considered. As you said, an exact wedding date isn't important, but having a plan to set in motion is.

I'd recommend doing it (proposing, that is) at a place that has some meaning to the both of you. Do it somewhere you can visit again in the future, for anniversaries and such. I think Korean women want to pick out their own engagement/wedding ring, but I'm not sure. If you want to surprise her, go window shopping for couples' rings so you can find out her ring size.

Hope this helps...sorry if I'm telling you stuff you already know.

[crazy_arcade]

What I want to know is how much a decent engagement ring runs for in Korea. Are they significantly higher here?

[Crashleymoss]

My husband proposed to me in my driveway after having asked my mom's permission for my hand. Asked me to come to his car, got on his knee and asked...Yeah, don't do that....

Of course 2 weeks later I heard him telling a friend of ours to take his girl to Vulcan (a statue overlooking Birmingham, AL) at night and propose over the city lights.... Romantic. Could not have thought of that for me, huh?

I agree with Easter Clark. But if she has ever mentioned "always" wanting to do this/ do that, go here/ go there and it's within reason, plan something around that.

PS: Hun, if you're reading this I love you and am just glad ya asked!

[caniff]

She proposed to me.

[Crashleymoss]

Caniff,
Tell the guy how she did it. Girls are better with the romance thing anyway.

[whatever]

[poet13]

I had returned from some work that didn't go very well and she spent a couple of months nursing me, changing dressings every day, picking up meds and stuff. We had already been living together for maybe 8 months. So the first night I was able to, we went out, and after dinner we were just talking about plans. I said something like,

"I thought maybe next week we could go to that amusement park south of Manila, and someday soon I'd like to get you up in a plane over Pinatubo. You could bring few friends. We should have a BBQ for the brothers also, and then I thought maybe you'd want to spend the rest of your life with me. After the BBQ, the poker gang wants to go to Pangasinan and go fishing..."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"I said, I want to go to the amusement park."
"After that."
"Oh, kuya alan and the boys want to go fishing."
"Before that."
"Ah, I thought maybe you might want to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together."

Tears.

I did tell her that I wouldn't accept an answer right away. I made her think about it for a week. Silly girl still said yes.

[caniff]

We were talking about ex-boyfriend/girlfriends (a dangerous topic, I know) and I told her about a woman I lived with for about 7 years. That relationship eventually ended because I wouldn't put a ring on her finger.

My future wife then said "I want to get married". I asked "Oh yeah? When?" She said "Now." I asked "To who?" She said "You." I said "Okay."

[T-J]

[RyanInKorea]

I asked her if she wanted to meet my parents and after some thougth she said, "Yes." A couple days later I asked if I could meet her parents and she said, "No." A bought her a small ring a few days after than and asked to meet her parents again, this time she said, "Yes." A few more days passed and I asked what she thought about being married to me and she replied, "It sounds doable." More days passed and we actually meet each other parents, they meet each other and everyone agreed we should get married. Don't think I actually asked the words, "Do you want to marry me."

At least that's what my Korean friend told me when he married his girlfriend of two months...

On a serious note, you should really discuss marriage with her to see what she expects, it's much different from what I can tell. For example, I don't think the ring is as important here, it's more important to buy nice presents for each set of parents.

Good luck,
Ryan

[eamo]

My proposal plans went a bit wrong so it ended up pretty unromantic. A bit of a regret because these days Korean girls are absolutely mad for romantic proposals. You can really get your married life off to a great start if you give her a great memory of the proposal.

Don't worry if the plan you come up with seems corny. Remember, there's no such thing as too cheesey in East Asia. The cheesier the better.

[whatever]

^Good point.

Re: gifts for parents...right on, but that is so lame. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Very logical, Korea. Maybe I should ask how many pigs her father wants...Korea is feeling more and more like the Mek tribe every day.

[EricaSmile84]

My future husband took me to the W Walker Hill hotel in Seoul. He had some business to do during the day so he sent me to the spa to get a full treatment- facial, massage, manicure, pedicure. Then we got dressed up for the evening and went to a piano bar at the top of the hotel. He told me I looked beautiful... I said that I didn't think so because had forgotten all of my jewelry in Busan where I live. He reached into his coat pocket and said "Well... here is some jewelry." Then he got down on both knees and asked me to marry him! I was totally shocked too and couldn't swallow the almonds that I was munching on to even say "yes"! I just nodded, cried and gave him a huge hug.

[caniff]

^ Wow, your account totally blew mine out of the water.