Korean Job Discussion Forums

[earthbound14]

Well, that post sure got a lot of attention�

I didn�t start it to put down obese people, I started it to kick obese people who are unhappy about their situation in the butt, to give them a little wake up call about what they are missing, what the are neglecting and what other people can only wish they had.

Some posters were pretty upset by it�sorry mate it�s just my perspective. I wasn't trying to lump all obese people together and say you must stop eating...I'm sorry if it came across that way. Some posters just stopped by to make fat jokes�.man that�s just rude and you degraded a perfectly good thread. I would have liked to read the whole thread and responded to many of the comments.

I wrote the post mostly to show how envious I am. How I wish I had what so many people, in my mind, seem to abuse what (this includes any of you drunks who just don�t get out and do what you want to do the next day).

I know everyone has a different body. I know many people have a hard time with obesity. I know that some people have thyroid problems or other conditions that make being slim or healthy difficult. I didn�t write what I wrote to slam people for their condition, trust me, I have a condition that limits my ability to be healthy. I wrote it to remind those with perfectly reversible states, other wise healthy bodies, that they have a gift, a gift that many people out there are jealous of. Most people who are obese do not have a disease. I don�t like seeing people complain about what they don�t have, when they have so much more than they realize. If you take offence at this�well then perhaps you do need a good kick in the arse�.not because I think you deserve it, but because you do deserve it�.you deserve better than you are treating yourself.

I would welcome being fat, because it is something I could deal with. If you think otherwise then you don�t know what it�s like to have a real health problem. There are countless people out there worse than me who�d love to have one of those bodies being abused by a severely obese person�.honest. So rather than get upset, perhaps people should get motivated, motivated to live life before something else comes along and takes that chance away. I can�t, if I push myself I risk extreme pain, the kind of pain that makes it very difficult to stand, makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning�.you don�t want what I have. If you don�t believe me, do a little research. If I could saw off one of my arms and rid myself of this problem I would�.gladly, just so I could run again. Don't get mad, just pass along the message.

Thanks to anyone who posted nice comments and thanks to anyone who shared their own problems�you rock!!!!

And just so you don�t think I�m some complete arse here�s a little story.

When I first started work, I started as a teaching assistant. I worked in the school system with either disabled kids or troubled kids. One kid was terribly obese and years behind his peers in school. It was my job to help him fit in�or rather take care of him when his teachers couldn�t. Many people either used negative re-enforcement to do the things they needed to complete their daily tasks (get their job done) while others simply baby sat him. I hated that. They all gave up on him, and I hated it. So I set up a list of rules, goals, rewards and ways to monitor his progress. At first he hated me, he just wanted to be left alone, he didn�t want to play with the other kids, he didn�t want to be independent, he just wanted to be allowed his outbursts. But after a while we started to see eye to eye and he started to trust me.

We had a field trip at the end of the year with all the other students. While walking around, he was happy to be with the other students and saw merit to following my lead rather than fighting it. Then he tugs on my arm and says �Hey, that�s the bathroom�..I can read!� a milestone for him and a small step towards being an independent person.

Then it came time for the group hike, rather than try to sit it out (as he was so fat he just couldn�t keep up) he joined in�..we got his snowshoes on and joined the group down on the frozen lake. �Where are we going?� he asked. I told him we were walking to the other side, then through the woods. The poor kid started to freak out. I stood about 20 feet ahead of him and told him he could either walk back by himself or walk the 20 feet to me. We did most of the hike like that until he just stopped worrying about whether or not he could do it, and just did it�5 km to be exact (no small feet for a kid who had never walked further than from the bus to his house). He loved it and we took a few more hikes before the trip was done. He just needed someone to kick him in the arse and tell him he could do it rather than placating him.

I also worked for the Special Olympics. This time it was the student who won me over. I worked with this guy named Tom, nice happy fellow, but dumb as a box of rocks. Not trying to belittle the guy, just being realistic. He couldn�t tie his own shoes let alone ski. He was the happiest SOB I�d ever met and everyone liked him, but I had my doubts he would ever be a good skier, I mean he could harldy tie his shoe. I sometimes wondered why I was spending my valuable time helping those who would never go anywhere�but I was there to be a nice guy, do a little babysitting to make myself feel good�

I headed out with Ted ready to be all nicey nice�then he just ripped past me. He wasn�t a great skier, but he sure loved it. He had such enthusiasm, such love for the sport. After we finished I took him in and helped him take his boots off�.he had legs like tree trunks, ripped. I skied with Tom for the entire season and loved every minute. I may not have been able to teach him much, he may not have even been that capable of learning, but he sure taught me.

I then tried to invite one of my non athletic friends out skiing; I had overheard him talk about it. He insisted he couldn�t do it, He just wasn�t athletic. I started to realize that Tom was a much better skier than I had given him credit for. He could out ski my perfectly able bodied friend, yet my friend insisted their body just wasn�t made for the slopes�.I think if he just got out there and tried it, he would have discovered what Tom knew. He would have discovered he was more able than he thought, he would discover he loved it and he would discover he that he didn�t need to be great, he just needed to do it.

Last I heard Tom was trying out for the Special Olympics and my friend still wishes he could ski.

Tom where you at man? I need someone to push me now, I need someone who can show me what I still can do.

Sometimes you just need someone to come around and kick your arse, to change the way you look at things. It's not always easy.

Post what ever stories you may have�I like these kinds of stories. If you wish to post fat jokes....you are not welcome.

[bundangbabo]

I posted on your earlier thread and I thought it was a good OP.

I'm overweight/fat and currently at two gyms - a fitness gym and a boxing gym.

From my persepctive, I think obesity is a symptom of clinical depression - thats why people who lose weight put the it all back on because they are treating a symptom and not the cause.

The cause to medicate their depression through food is the real issue and until they can come to grips of why they overeat the people with weight issues will never obliterate them.

I hope this thread stays up, the previous thread was fine. No need to have deleted it.

[afsjesse]

I'm sorry to hear about your condition OP. I'm a pretty fat guy myself. I weigh in at 103, but to my credit that is down from 122 Kilos when I got here over one year ago. I'm not mister slim yet but I definitely feel what your talking about. Feel better all around and get more attention! I didn't take any offense from it and I thought it was well thought out.

Good Luck in the future.

Jesse

[livinginkunsan]

or maybe overweight people search for an excuse... to explain or justify why they lack the will power to quit eating so much.. and to lose weight

[EzeWong]

Glad you posted this,
I definately see much better your perspective and where you are coming from. And from that story I know you are a good caring person.
I tip my hat.

I have stories too, but I'd rather not share them, they don't have "happy" endings. Here's a smiley face to make me feel better

[i4NI]

The mods SUCK. They take down the wrong topics. There is nothing wrong with telling fat people they are lazy,it's true.

I hate the mod that keeps closing all the threads that relate to private tutoring too, NOBODY USES THE PRIVATE TUTORING THREAD ANYMORE, IT'S USELESS!

[earthbound14]

[Wisconsinite]

Man, you are off Daves for 2 days and you miss all the good stuff....

I think the reason "fat" threads get so much attention and people get so worked up is because it is like having the worst part of you, the part of you that you already hate about yourself, the part of you that you wish you could change, the part of you that makes you feel like a failure commented on in a public forum where some people are nice and others are mean and hurtful. Yep it makes people defensive.

I used to be the "fat girl" and I still feel like I am even though I am not anymore. I know how hard it is to deal with this one part of you that you don't like. To have people say it is about "getting off the couch" or "eating less" is not accurate, not even to say the least. Do you say to a depressed person "be happy" "stop being sad" it's not that simple and not that black and white. I would agree with the above poster that being overweight is a type of depression. Something is going on whether is the masking of a trauma, building walls of defense, or just plain eating away the sadness that is causing it.

If you really want to help overweight people. Don't go on an internet forum and tell them to buck up and run. Don't make them feel less than human because trust me, they already feel like that! Don't point out the denial, only they can realize what their situation is. All you do when you do that is make them defensive and help them to bury their head in the sand further. Instead, offer to listen, be a friend. Offer to help them. Help them experience life because ultimately that is what got me to realize my situation and do something about it. I started to experience life and realized I didn't want to be the person cheering my friends a the finish lines of 1/2 marathons, I wanted to be the person finishing the 1/2 marathon....

[moosehead]

hmmm all this talk makes me SO hungry -

wish there was a Dairy Queen here - !!

with a chicken fried steak and double malted shake and cheesy fries

(oh god that was supposed to be a joke now I think I'm going to be sick!!)

[Oreovictim]

Well, OP, sorry about your condition. One of my oldest friend's father had some sort of arthritic condition that he got in his mid 20s. Supposedly, it's one that's common of Swedish heritage. I'm curious if that's true.

I can understand your frustrations. My twin brother is a type-I diabetic. He's been that way since the age of seven. He's always had a particular scorn against type-II diabetics. He said that they got what they deserve because they didn't take care of themselves.

Good luck, and I hope that there are some advances in medicine in the not-too-distant future.

[crusher_of_heads]

Layoff the KFC, fatasses; it will do you a world of good.

[Soccerstar]

Genuinely sorry for your condition OP. Here's one post of support for you. All the best in the things you can still do, and I hope you grow to excel at them.
We should all be very grateful for life, health, and the choice to enjoy them both.
We all have issues. Heck, most of us are here in Korea because of these very issues we struggle with, whether it be financial, social, or other.
Sad to hear about your condition, but I've found the best way to be thankful is to visit and help others who are worse off.
I've been in Cancer and AID's hospital wards in Africa and SE Asia. Man, talk about depressing to see. But it sure gives a new perspective on what we have.

btw crusher-of-heads, it's not wise to randomly post while drunk

[Lukychrm42]

"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Instead of targeting fat people with your bitterness, maybe you should look to all of the able-bodied people who do nothing but sit around playing computer games.

I understand where you're coming from- really- medically, speaking. But maybe your rant was a bit misdirected.

[Lukychrm42]

sorry double post

[Atramentous]

I agree with the the concept that weight is linked to depression but I would add that it is also linked to self-esteem and your emotional state as well. I say this not just for the overweight but also for those that are underweight. I was shaped like a potato as a kid, lost weight with puberty and sports in high school. And mostly kept the weight off. Two years ago, my father was diagnosed with cancer and I moved home to help care for him. My dad was my rock and his diagnosis was devastating to my whole family. He was a super fit man all his life, watching his diet and exercising, taking his vitamins etc. We were blindsided.
I worked two while caring for him and helping with doctor duty. My parents do not speak the language of the country they are living in very well and I am fluent. I did get depressed and exhausted both physically and emotionally. For the first time since I was a kid, I put on weight. To the tune of 30 pounds in 18 months. Now, I am trying to lose the excess flab but it is more difficult than I thought it would be.
Fat comments are hurtful and they are not necessary. Anyone with a weight problem is fully aware that they are not as attractive as a slim person might be. While my current weight puts me at the cusp of healthy/overweight on the BMI, I am ashamed enough of the way I "let myself go" to feel very sensitive to fat comments.
My mother has been obese since I can remember. She deals with grief, anger and depression by eating far too many biscuits. She is a productive person and kind hearted but she has an eating disorder. Compulsive overeating is in the same category as anorexia. Alot of very overweight people have this problem. She also has a great deal of arthiritis in her joints and has had arthritis since she was in her late twenties. It does make exercise very difficult and sometimes makes everyday things like open the boot of her car nearly or carrying a box of supplies nearly impossible.
I can understand how the OP says that he would trade his condition with a fat person for fatness is curable. Fatness is curable, but to dismiss it as though it were nothing more than a lingering cold is condescending. There is a reason most overweight people eat the way that they do. One of the symptoms of their problem is excess fat, but if the underlying problems are not addressed and treated then telling them to eat less for f*cks sake is akin to telling an alcoholic to just not drink as much. Both are excesses and both need treatment.

Rant over.