Korean Job Discussion Forums

CabbageTownRoyals · Joined: 14 Sep 2006

First of all, the poll is just for ladies! It got too confusing to add all the options plus gender difference, so I hope only women vote cuz thats what I'm curious about..I'm sure you fullas are curious too, no? But, I'm really interested to read everyone's (men and womens) written comments of course..

Seems that A LOT of people I know are getting married/reproducing. I think its great and I'm happy to see my friends happy of course but I'm also curious - how many women, like myself, have absolutely no interest in either marriage or babies? (long term relationships ok obviously)

I'm not bitter and desperate, in fact I'm at a really fulfilling, happy time in my life, I guess I just lack the maternal instinct for some weird reason. Anyway, I don't wanna blab on about myself, but I'm curious about this subject. Obviously its a HUGE topic and I probably should have separated them, but for most people they go hand-in-hand. It will open up a Pandora's box of related social issues - but for now I'm gonna throw the subject out there.

KYC · Joined: 11 May 2006

Well, it's not like I don't want to get married or have kids ever....

If I meet someone and it works out that way, I'm not going to fight it. I just don't think I'm mother-material either. I'm way too selfish. I put my needs first and foremost, and I don't think I can put another's needs before mine. Hey, at least I can admit it.

VanIslander · Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:26 am Post subject:

Exuse me for the intrusion... I just wanted to say...

This man really, really, really wants to get married and have kids.
And I'm pushing 40 soon.

Just thought you women should know. Wink

The future Mrs. VanIslander might be among you.

Living in Korea sure puts a damper on one's prospects unless one goes native.

CabbageTownRoyals · Joined: 14 Sep 2006

ciccone_youth · Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Location: Japan

I want to get married- I'm not sure the reasons why, but I think it's mostly a little girl's dream, knowing I'd get married someday. I'm in no rush, but I want it to happen.

I think I'd like kids later, but I never think about them. I know some girls my age are obsessed with babies, but I'm indifferent to them right now.

Starla · Joined: 06 Jun 2008 Location: Seoul

Lukychrm42 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Location: Cheonan

I'm 25, and half of my friends are now married or heading that way. (Including my big sister and little brother). I was heading that way until I ended it just before I came.... freedom after 3 years- wahoo!!!

I have no desire to do either. I wouldn't mind some fun, though.

peppermint · Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:57 am Post subject:

I don't want kids or marriage for their own sake, but if the right guy came along, I probably would want one or both with him. I'm not really a fan of babies, but little kids are great.

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

Tough question, and I think being abroad living like a college student and gettting paid for it - party everynight and traveling/seeing the world, certainly adds to the feeling that marriage/kids might not be in our best interests.

But I really think there are only so many 'adventures' we can have...and then it all becomes ho-hum. At some point, having a kid or two, does become the next big adventure.

But, of course, gotta exhaust ourselves from all the other big adventures Wink

or perhaps try to combine them in the long run!

ciccone_youth · Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Location: Japan

Like Starla said, a few years ago I thought for sure I'd never have kids.

But in the past year things have changed, and I think kids could be a great thing in the future. It still seems very, very, very far though.

sojourner1 · Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:06 am Post subject:

Dang, I voted before reading the OP's post going off of the title and poll choices. I voted neither, because I simply don't want a wife nor kids and value the freedom and efficiency being single offers. I don't want to live with anyone. I couldn't imagine answering to someone about personal decisions such as how I spend money and time, and then being told by her the money is too stretched pressuring me to work another job on the weekends like so many parents are doing. I still don't understand what breeders get out of taking on all that responsibility and then many struggling financially while contending with exhausting time constraints. I've always thought, "If I have kids, it's going to be right with plenty of money and time to facilitate the best for the family, no living in a small apartment or mobile home struggling on modest or low income shit." It's gotta be right in my book, but I don't feel a need to do it or rush into anything just to be doing it, only if it all lined up correctly in an ideal situation. I'm not too concerned about procreating due to the world having too many people and not enough resources to support current populations while so many kids unnecessarily suffer poverty and many unwanted by dysfunctional parents. If I was wealthy, I probably would adopt and then my nanny would take care of everything when I'm traveling or on business.

I lost a lot of friends over them not having free time anymore, because they're juggling time constraints, many more responsibilities, and spouse expectations to be make every hour accountable to know for sure what he's doing. I guess having marriage and kids are human instinct and nothing more or perhaps it centers around what relatives expect and the fear of what they will think if you don't have a baby and tie the knot.

I've lost so many friends over the years over this settling down into a marriage and having kids thing. I just don't get why they want to do that. Maybe because it's seen as being proper or normal?

Gimpokid · Joined: 09 Nov 2008 Location: Best Gimpo

I want kids.

I also want a heap of money, a mansion and a Lambourgini.

I would have to be hella comfortable.

CabbageTownRoyals · Joined: 14 Sep 2006

thanks for everyone's really great replies, quite interesting, but I guess I also have to remember that we are expats in Korea and this is def. not the norm back home. Also, nice not to have really negative, critical attacks as replies - shouldn't speak too soon eh! Rolling Eyes

CabbageTownRoyals · Joined: 14 Sep 2006

OneWayTraffic · Joined: 14 Mar 2005

Take it from a guy who got his gf pregnant and then got married and had another kid. No matter how you may feel before you have kids, should they come along your priorities will change. It may take a while (especially for guys- I was a lousy father for the first year or so I reckon.) But in the end you'll be a totally different person.

Marriage is IMO just a social organisation to make child raising easier, but breeding is deep in our DNA. I couldn't imagine going back. Most normal people, no matter how self centered or ambitious they may be when single, become great parents. It's not a question of choice, anymore than puberty was a question of choice. It's as natural as breathing.