Korean Job Discussion Forums

[wylies99]

De-womanizing` greetings
http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/


For any woman who`s in their 30s, this is something you will face or have already faced when living in Korea.
The first thing I knew I wouldn`t like too much about living back in Korea is that I`d be hearing this as a greeting from everyone: "How old are you?" instead of "How are you?" followed by "Why aren`t you married?"

Why is this the way I am greeted? Because according to Korean culture, I`m in my early thirties and I`m running late for marriage. In Korea, I`m two years older than I am in America because I`m already considered to be one year old when I popped out of my mommy`s tummy.

Here, when a woman is over 30, you are treated like you missed the bus for marriage. Ridiculous, I say.

If you`re a female who is 28 years old, you`re considered 30 and you better be getting married soon, unless you`re comfortable with greetings such as "It`s time to get married; You`re getting old; Why aren`t you married?; Do you have a boyfriend?; Why don`t you have a someone to marry?; When are you getting married?; Don`t you want to get married?; and many more "de-womanizing" greetings.

I`m not comfortable with these greetings, but I`m definitely used to them. The most hilarious thing anyone said to me at work was "Teacher, when my mom was 27 years old she had me. You`re 31, what are you doing?" And then another kid said, "When my mom was 28 she had me. What are you doing?" I just responded speechlessly with laughter.

And in that moment, I didn`t know whether I was laughing at their comment or laughing with them at me.

Here`s another famous joke where women are compared to Christmas cakes that goes something like this: When a woman is 24 she`s like a Christmas Eve cake because she`ll sell at the highest price. When a woman turns 25, it`s Christmas day and her price drops, because it`s a little too late to sell, but she`ll still sell. When a woman is 26 she`s on Christmas clearance sale because Christmas is over. Then when a woman is 31 it`s like New Years Eve and there are still people who may want cake for New Years, but then after New Years, the woman is 32 and there`s just no one buying.

Women should not be compared to Christmas cakes in any country.

What`s with this? Are women who are 30 or more not considered women in Korea? I know youth is beautiful and great, but isn`t wisdom and age beautiful, too?

The 40s are the new 20s. Women that age are looking better than women in their 20s. Hollywood, Korean celebrities and my friends can prove that.

People need to keep up with the times. This isn`t about age. Women`s values shouldn`t be placed on age, but placed on everything else that matters.

When I was 29 year old, I was already 31 in Korea. This won`t change anything that really matters. If I have to be compared to cake, there`s no other cake like me.


By Hanna Hong


The writer`s opinions do not necessarily represent those of The Korea Herald. To comment, e-mail [email protected] - Ed.



2008.12.02

[wylies99]

The author needs to understand that men get asked the same questions.

[peppermint]

At 25, I was getting told I should have the wedding hall booked and the dress bought, the groom was incidental. I'm guessing guys don't hear that sort of thing too often.

[wylies99]

[Passions]

[DCJames]

Maybe the Koreans are right and there is something wrong with us for not being married?

Maybe western cultures' ideals of individualism, independence, and feminism aren't all they're cracked up to be.

[jkelly80]

You have to love how arbitrary cut off dates can totally screw somebody's entire live over. It's cultural!

[adeline]

don't worry about it too much, I see people telling women they should be married already as the same thing as telling them they can't do something because they're a girl. Since women no longer depend on a man for everything,(food, shelter, safety) they don't have to get married if they don't want to, and that's a good thing. I bet most of those people are secretly wishing they had the freedom that you do, even if they love their families. They are just stuck in the mindset that women can't survive or be happy without a man to tell them what to do. But not being married means you can put yourself first, be friends with whoever you want, date who you want, go where you want. I hope I'm still doing that in 10 years.

oh and asking your age is basically the same as saying "how are you?" in the states, if you were under the illusion that somehow in the states people actually cared how you were doing but in Korea they only care about your age, then your momma didn't teach you that the only acceptable reply to "how are you?" is "fine, how are you?"

[cdninkorea]

[adeline]

I don't think ageism is limited to Korea, I look young and even worse I sound young. Practically every day in the states someone refuses to give me information over the phone because they don't believe I'm an adult, In person it isn't much better, I'm ignored and condescended to because people think I'm a teenager. That's life. Every country has a hierarchy, in Korea it may be sex and age, but in other places it is looks, or money, or your name, I don't see it as any worse in Korea, though it may be worse for a certain group.

[tatertot]

Did anybody else think there is something wrong with her math? Shouldn't her Korean age be 1 year older than her "western" age? Am I missing something really obvious here?

[adeline]

only if your birthday has already happened this year. Maybe she's a december birthday. I am 2 years older most of the year because I was born in october.

[crusher_of_heads]

"Why aren't you married?"

I have used this reply

"You and your question is wrong".

And I will use it again.

[Cornfed]

I wonder if it would be wise to reply to questions about ones unmarried status with the obvious truth - that Western women are garbage and therefore not marriage material and that government policy in the West is that most marriages should not succeed.

[adeline]

^rejected much?