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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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| The best way to meet a GOOD guy |
| Internet (including Dave's) |
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30% |
[ 7 ] |
| Bars |
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4% |
[ 1 ] |
| Interest Groups |
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21% |
[ 5 ] |
| Friends' Parties |
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43% |
[ 10 ] |
| Language Exchange |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 23 |
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Tiger Beer
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
| Most guys mentioned and recomended "internet", while our poll shows the leading popularity at "friends' parties", It indicates some inconsistency which I reckon due to the sex-composition of the voters, but we will see. |
Friends parties are a great place. I'd agree with that.
Whenever I've went to friend's parties...there seems to be a different quality of people then the old regulars at the bar. |
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Starla
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:20 am Post subject: |
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I don't like internet dating because profiles are so deceiving, whether intentional or not. Some guys seem great in their photos or by email and when you meet them...nothing. Then others have unspectacular profiles but are really great in person. I prefer meeting guys in person because it cuts out the middleman and it's less of a time waster. I've known guys who wasted my time with endless emailing and text messaging only to leave me disappointed after the first few minutes of in person conversation, whether it's some quirk of theirs, their personality or lack of my physical attraction to them.
There's nothing like that first encounter with someone who by chance crossed your path and who caught your interest. I find that doing things you enjoy and love are the perfect ways to make that happen. Do something you love and you will find somebody who feels the same way about that same thing too. |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:05 am Post subject: |
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| Starla wrote: |
I don't like internet dating because profiles are so deceiving, whether intentional or not. Some guys seem great in their photos or by email and when you meet them...nothing. Then others have unspectacular profiles but are really great in person. I prefer meeting guys in person because it cuts out the middleman and it's less of a time waster. I've known guys who wasted my time with endless emailing and text messaging only to leave me disappointed after the first few minutes of in person conversation, whether it's some quirk of theirs, their personality or lack of my physical attraction to them.
There's nothing like that first encounter with someone who by chance crossed your path and who caught your interest. I find that doing things you enjoy and love are the perfect ways to make that happen. Do something you love and you will find somebody who feels the same way about that same thing too. |
Many guys lie because they believe they just need to get their foot in the door. They play the odds that the woman won't want to walk away because she's invested a certain amount of time online. Think about pantyhose. I've heard the same complaint from women for three decades: it's expensive, it doesn't last. But they keep buying the product. Men wouldn't. But women might not like what comes out of the box but they try to live with it. Some men know that and play that angle. |
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Starla
Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| mindmetoo wrote: |
| Starla wrote: |
I don't like internet dating because profiles are so deceiving, whether intentional or not. Some guys seem great in their photos or by email and when you meet them...nothing. Then others have unspectacular profiles but are really great in person. I prefer meeting guys in person because it cuts out the middleman and it's less of a time waster. I've known guys who wasted my time with endless emailing and text messaging only to leave me disappointed after the first few minutes of in person conversation, whether it's some quirk of theirs, their personality or lack of my physical attraction to them.
There's nothing like that first encounter with someone who by chance crossed your path and who caught your interest. I find that doing things you enjoy and love are the perfect ways to make that happen. Do something you love and you will find somebody who feels the same way about that same thing too. |
Many guys lie because they believe they just need to get their foot in the door. They play the odds that the woman won't want to walk away because she's invested a certain amount of time online. Think about pantyhose. I've heard the same complaint from women for three decades: it's expensive, it doesn't last. But they keep buying the product. Men wouldn't. But women might not like what comes out of the box but they try to live with it. Some men know that and play that angle. |
Yeah, I got lied to a couple of times about height. I wouldn't have had an issue with their height had they been honest but it's the lies that got to me. Most of the time though, it's just lack of chemistry or the photos made them look better than in real life. Or they're looking for the internet as a way to get laid rather than find someone to date. That's something you can't get across through the internet. As for the pantyhose analogy, nah, if a product's cheap or defective, I return it ASAP. Same goes for men. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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Right, men think deceiving about their hight, age or something wouldnt matter, they forget nobody LIKES to be fooled, no matter what is the motivation behind the lie.
Something came to me last night: I watched a TV program on Science Channel, talking about male jealousy... it mentioned that 1 out of 10 kids are not raised by their biological fathers, the figure sounds too sensational... but the idea is, on one hand, men want to spread their seeds to as many women as possible, on the other hand, they get crazy when they find out other men are doing the same thing.
I might have to change my original question, cuz it is hard to define a GOOD man, men are men, the more attractive they are, the less loyal they are, there is few outliers (even the least attractive men want more women, but maybe what they can do is merely protecting their own territory to get other competitors out there) , do I want my man to be good at spreading his genes or not?  |
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Oreovictim
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 6:23 am Post subject: |
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| Tiger Beer wrote: |
I think internet dating is commonplace. I can't imagine why a woman would just sit around bars and coffee shops waiting for some perfect single speciman of some guy to walk in with his white horse sitting waiting out back...
If someone wants a boyfriend, they have to be proactive about it. The easiest way to be proactive is by using the internet. I think it looks less desparate as at least you have a dating pool, and can actually be more selective (and therefore less desparate). |
I agree. I hate it when women say, "I'm well-educated; I'm attractive; I have a good career; I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication (including Bocce), etc. Where's my man?" They feel it's their god-given right to be entitled to a "Mr. Right." If a woman like that has worked so hard for such things, she should work a little harder and take a proactive approach, as you said.
Since you mentioned the white horse thing, I'll add this. Romance stories are evil. They give women the idea that there are actually Mr. Right/Knight in Shining armor/Prince Charmings out there. But to be fair, there are lots of guys out there who look at porn and expect women to look like models.
By the way, Tiger Beer, what's the dating scene like in Japan for foreign guys? Are the women more approachable? |
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Ukon
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 6:40 am Post subject: |
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You don't have to be the best looking, I've seen girls who have great personalities, confident, and "really have their s*** together"...you wouldn't believe how attractive that can be.
So many girls fail to be this...then again so do alot of guys....
I'm not sure how it is for a girl being in korea trying to get western guys...but be really forward...maybe it's just me, but I do feel a bit weird hitting on the only the only 2-3 attractive white women I see in a week... |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:41 am Post subject: |
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| Oreovictim wrote: |
I agree. I hate it when women say, "I'm well-educated; I'm attractive; I have a good career; I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication (including Bocce), etc. Where's my man?" They feel it's their god-given right to be entitled to a "Mr. Right." If a woman like that has worked so hard for such things, she should work a little harder and take a proactive approach, as you said.
Since you mentioned the white horse thing, I'll add this. Romance stories are evil. They give women the idea that there are actually Mr. Right/Knight in Shining armor/Prince Charmings out there. But to be fair, there are lots of guys out there who look at porn and expect women to look like models.
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Come on Oreovictim, I am not baby, I did the internet dating things, I bet 99% girls on Dave's did same, I agree there are good guys online, but those nasty pathetic guys just ruined all you gold-like men's shining reputation, oh wait a minute, are you sure you are not one of them?
I met a guy who disappeared from the planet without a single word after I spent several months online and thought things were going to the right way...holy f***... I met a 50 somthing guy who told me he was 30, that was OK ...later this Ajoshi was caught by me talking to his wife while we chatting (he was too old to remember to turn off his microphone) , bragging about his charm which attracted 3 young girls already...(finger)......I also met many guys who (as I mentioned before) were so professional in online dating, and spent incredibly long time (years) on this never-ending hobby...
Last edited by Panda on Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:07 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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I need to tell this my own story:
About half a year ago, I logged in a website I hadnt visited for long and met a guy----prolly the cutest one I have ever met, he has a prefect profile, tall, very handsome, extremely well-built body type , not only these, he is also very smart and humorous and good-tempered...he told me he worked for military (but not a soldier)......After we chatted several times on phone, he came to my city and visited me, he was even better in real life...we had good conversation and dinner, he insisted on paying everything...later he went back home and I thought: wow, my Mr.Right eventually showed up~!
We kept in touch by phone and everyday was so sweet to me, we did this for several weeks, but i still knew nothing about his work and personal life, I invited him to join facebook but he refused......to me he was a mystery but I decided I would take my time cuz we were not that close (at least not physically close) and I didnt wnat to push too hard.
One night, I saw him on MSN, which was a big surprise to me cuz I never saw him on MSN, I talked to him and no matter what I said, he didnt reply, later he logged off... it was too weird, I then called his cell phone, but it was turned off. I went to bed that night with my head filled with question marks, and the next norning, I called his phone again, this time he just simply didnt reply, I sent messages and emails later asking what happened.......................NO REPLY
Alright, I laughed at myself and told myself, this was just another naive stupid thing I did....... I disappeared him from my life, together with his number, his email, his photos....
Then, about a month ago, I suddenly got an email from him explaining he left without a word because he was to take a long vacation and he didnt know how to make me believe, in the end he said he really liked me and was very much attracted to me, he wanted me to forgive him for being rude and would let me decide if I wanted to keep in touch again or not, either as just friends or bf/gf...
I replied his email, and I said I wanted to be his friend, so we exchanged emails again, hmmmmm, even he might be a jerk, he prolly is the smartest jerk in the world, he knows how to please me, and I just believe everything he said, he sounds so sincere now 
It is a dilemma for me now, we are sill talking and I am attracted to this guy, and I know if I asked him to visit me he would and we might sleep together, I could try not to take sex too seriously but if he turned out to be a jerk, the badly hurt would be not my body but my self-esteem.....
Last edited by Panda on Mon Dec 15, 2008 8:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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pest2
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
I need to tell this my own story:
About half a year ago, I logged in a website I hadnt visited for long and met a guy----prolly the cutest one I have ever met, he has a prefect profile, tall, very handsome, extremely well-built body type , not only these, he is also very smart and humorous and good-tempered...he told me he worked for military (but not a soldier)......After we chatted several times on phone, he came to my city and visited me, he was even better in real life...we had good conversation and dinner, he insisted on paying everything...later he went back home and I thought: wow, my Mr.Right eventually showed up~!
We kept in touch by phone and everyday was so sweet to me, we did this for several weeks, but i still knew nothing about his work and personal life, I invited him to join facebook but he refused......to me he was a mystery but I decided I would take my time cuz we were not that close (at least not physically close) and I didnt wnat to push too hard.
One night, I saw him on MSN, which was a big surprise to me cuz I never saw him on MSN, I talked to him and no matter what I said, he didnt reply, later he logged off... it was too weird, I then called his cell phone, but it was turned off. I went to bed that night with all question marks filled my head, and the next norning, I called his phone again, this time he just simply didnt reply, I sent messages and emails later asking what happened.......................NO REPLY
Alright, I laughed at myself and told myself, this was just another naive stupid thing I did....... I disappeared him from my life, together with his number, his email, his photos....
Then, about a month ago, I suddenly got an email from him explaining he left without a word because he was to take a long vacation and he didnt know how to make me believe, in the end he said he really liked me and was very much attracted to me, he wanted me to forgive him for being rude and would let me decide if I wanted to keep in touch again or not, either as just friends or bf/gf...
I replied his email, and I said I wanted to be his friend, so we exchanged emails again, hmmmmm, even he might be a jerk, he prolly is the smartest jerk in the world, he knows how to please me, and I just believe everything he said, he sounds so sincere now
It is a dilemma for me now, we are sill talking and I am attracted to this guy, and I know if I asked him to visit me he would and we might sleep together, I could try not to take sex too seriously but if he turned out to be a jerk, the badly hurt would be not my body but my self-esteem.....
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Sounds to me like he's married. |
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Gamecock
Joined: 26 Nov 2003
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| Then, about a month ago, I suddenly got an email from him explaining he left without a word because he was to take a long vacation and he didnt know how to make me believe, in the end he said he really liked me and was very much attracted to me, he wanted me to forgive him for being rude and would let me decide if I wanted to keep in touch again or not, either as just friends or bf/gf... |
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| Sounds to me like he's married. |
Sounds to me like he had another girl on the side, then when she quit putting out for him he thought he could come back to you and get some action. You're probably not the only girl he has told this story to. My guess is he has 3 or 4 backup girls. Whatever the case, you are EXTREMELY stupid to go back and be with him.
The reality is that as superficial as you've come across in this thread, you're bound to NOT get a good guy.
| Quote: |
| About half a year ago, I logged in a website I hadnt visited for long and met a guy----prolly the cutest one I have ever met, he has a prefect profile, tall, very handsome, extremely well-built body type , not only these, he is also very smart and humorous and good-tempered... |
How about looking beyond all these things and finding someone with values. Seems like your problem is not men, but who you are and your evaluation process of the opposite sex. Shallow people attract the same. There are PLENTY of good guys...they just aren't that eager to be with someone like you and Nolegirl. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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Pest, he is 4 years younger than me...but yeah, who knows.
Gamecock, I already said that I didnt care much about out-looking, however he is hot (what can I do?  ), its stupid to say you are too hot thus make me superficial to date you, isnt it.
What you said EXACTLY reflects the sour grape thoughts, I am a girl and see the reasonableness of being picky, Cinderella's story doesnt tell us the prince loves a poor girl, on the contrary, it reminds us all men like beautiful girls and if you were a prince you could seek out the girl matches your shoes(or whatever you want) perfectly by searching every nook and cranny on the earth....~!!!!! However, I agree people should only be reasonably picky, have you ever read those articles about the principles of dating economics? Dating is a process people looking for exchanging their value needs with the best performance/cost ratio ( sorry I cant memorize the original words).
Define me EAGER.......I am eager to eat, I am eager to talk to you......what's wrong with being eager? or shall I take all girls you date are indifferent to you so you think other girls should be like this as well? No? Then you also yourself dated some eager girls? What a joker you are~! Oh please, stop being hypocritical and pathetic, stop looking down upon female..... |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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Oreovictim
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:24 am Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
| Oreovictim wrote: |
I agree. I hate it when women say, "I'm well-educated; I'm attractive; I have a good career; I'm fluent in over six million forms of communication (including Bocce), etc. Where's my man?" They feel it's their god-given right to be entitled to a "Mr. Right." If a woman like that has worked so hard for such things, she should work a little harder and take a proactive approach, as you said.
Since you mentioned the white horse thing, I'll add this. Romance stories are evil. They give women the idea that there are actually Mr. Right/Knight in Shining armor/Prince Charmings out there. But to be fair, there are lots of guys out there who look at porn and expect women to look like models.
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I agree there are good guys online, but those nasty pathetic guys just ruined all you gold-like men's shining reputation, oh wait a minute, are you sure you are not one of them?
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Am I sure that I'm not one of those nasty, pathetic guys? Yes, I'm sure.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with coming on here and having a post where you complain. Everyone does it; it's perfectly normal. If you came on here saying that you can't find a good man, I would have been sympathetic, but you mentioned about how you've dated lots of guys. You just can't that right one, and you go on and on about it. Oh, well boo-freaking-hoo. I've know lots of guys and gals in Korea and America who have trouble getting dates or can't even get a response from a simple 'hello', and you want sympathy? Count your blessings.
Here's what you need to do. And I've seen this done in the countless romance movies that I've been forced to watch. You need to find one of those obligatory gay guys who will be on call, 24-7 to listen to your baggage and who will just "be there for you." Ha, ha! Forget that. I've know a few gay guys, and a lot of them hate being that cliche' romance character. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:52 am Post subject: |
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Being smoother to gay guys, Oreovictim 
I want to make an explaination to those who think I am a self-centered, greedy woman. This thread has gone far beyond my own personal issue, I wish it helps girls to get useful information and more dating tips.
I dont mind how superficial people think I am since nobody knows me here but still It would be good to yoursef if you learned to judge ppl only after knowing them more. |
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