Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Fishead soup]

Since most of us have biological family overseas how would most of us respond to a terminal illness such as Cancer, or Aids.

Something where a definate prognoisis and timeline would be available.
Such as six months.

[nate2008]

It would depend on the timeline. If a person was given one month to live, I would quit and be on the next plane out. If it were anything less than six months I would quit and be on the next plane out. 6 months or more and I would give my 30 days notice, and then be on the first plane out after the 30 days were up.

[sojourner1]

Well someone with cancer, aids, or even a heart attack or heart failure can live for years after the prognosis. Whether you head home right now or not would depend on if you believe or know your loved one is going to die very soon. If relatives such as your brother and sister are telling you that your mother is about to die, then listen to them and go home for a visit. This can be tricky as someone can be dying, but hold on for days, weeks, months, even years due to modern hospitals reviving them for a 2nd chance. It's easy to take time out from working if you have money or your relatives can take care of you. Some families have lots of money that they just share while loving and taking care of each other while others is a family of individuals who must each take care individually. Use your discretion is all I can say.

Those of you that would quit upon hearing bad news might know that you're inheriting, as cold as this sounds, to take care of your financial losses resulting from a set back of quitting a job and spending all your money in the process of dealing with things at home. It cost me a lot of money to go home in this situation last year with my mom and I even had to pay for my bad brothers food and gas due to him being broke like he always is. And then in mild September weather when it was a pleasant 75 degrees, he had to run moms A/C on high with it freezing cold, because he felt hot due to being fat. And then he wouldn't drive me or let me drive anywhere else but the hospital each day as I was wanting to shop for a pair of pants and eat out on my own after being over seas for so long. You can't do much being with a 350 pound man with a heart condition preventing him from even walking around in the mall. I was taking $25 taxi rides many evenings after visiting mom in the hospital all day for 3 weeks. I almost ended up killing my brother for being such a broke dick turd at the young age of 37 and then being so selfish, lying, cheating, and stealing his whole life. Consider and prepare for what sort of challenges your relatives will present you upon your return home. In my experience, they always made things harder than they should be.

My sister and brother law finally told me there is nothing I can do and I should go back to work and not worry if I can't stay long enough to go to the funeral whenever that was to be. So I went back to Korea having only 3 months left on my contract and needed that money so badly as there is no money at home nor in the family so it was most responsible for me to go back to my job. You never want to go broke if you've found out or know there's no help possible in that situation.

It's really tough emotionally to deal with losing a parent or someone important to you, but even harder if money becomes a crisis and your parents have no cash assets nor life insurance nor real estate. This had the 4 of us kids having an uncomfortable discussion how to pay for funeral, burial, and unpaid time off costs. Death is a very expensive thing in the USA, unlke in common wealth countries where it's cheap due to having a social system to deal with it. Make sure you stay within your means and that you're not blowing all you have on a wild goose chase you have no ability to make better if the parent is not insured or there's no money to take care of business. That would be stressful to be the executor or younger sibling of one in the situation I'm talking about. Get back to work. (as cold of thing to say as that is)

[Draz]

Uuuuuugh. Going home tomorrow, good part of why is because of a situation like this. Don't know the prognosis yet... refuse to think about it until I know.

[Jandar]

The expense really ain't that bad.

You can get a decent cremation for about $1100 in Florida.

There are some additional expenses beyond that but not much.

I think you can get $225 from Social Security.

[Young FRANKenstein]

My mum was diagnosed with cancer a few years back in May, and they thought at the time she had a month to live. I took a day to finish up my grade submissions then took the next plane out. I didn't quit because it was end of semester and I was on summer vacation after I submitted those grades.

I stayed with mum for a few weeks to look after her. She went in for chemo and radiation treatments and got a nurse to drop by every day. She didn't want me there to see her as she deteriorated, so we said our goodbyes and I came back to Korea. I did go back home that Christmas, too, to spend her last Christmas together.

She outlasted the doctor's prognosis by almost a year.

[Pooty]

[Captain Corea]

My mom passed a month ago after a 3 year battle with lung cancer.

I flew there as often as I could, and got skype and a webcam installed for her - but I also have a wife and child here that I had to take care of.

It was a tough time, and i'm not sure if I did it right, but I did the best I could.

[sojourner1]

[Pooty]

Don't get me wrong brother, I love ya - and you write well. It's just that there's not enough time in the day to read as much as I'd like to!

Back to the OP!