Korean Job Discussion Forums

Fishead soup · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Location: Korea

They are really saying that they feel bad for your situation but they choose to do nothing about it. For example you have a loved one in ICU
if they really cared about the person they would find time to visit them.
Or offer to help the family.

Offering prayer is the ultimate cop out. It's meerly asking assistance of an imaginery being. Why not ask Santa Clause,or the Tooth fairy.
There is about the same amount to credibility to prove their existance.

Another example would be the person who is unemployed. Most people find gainful employment through connections. Having a family member who is unemployed is often a source of shame. Most would rather keep it secret rather than reveal it. So when it is revealed that a family member is having trouble it is often hoped that the reciever of the news will pull some strings or utilize valuable connections and not worthless prayer. Would you really want to reveal with your friends that your brother,sister or inlaws were on welfare. With nothing worthwhile as far as valuable networking.

ChinaBoy · Joined: 17 Feb 2007

Welfare has a completely different social stigma from being unemployed.

AND with the economy the way it is, unemployment isn't so unusual.

pkang0202 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007

When placed in a position there you really want to help, but there is nothing you can do for the person, you can offer a prayer. Its not a cop out. I'm sorry that you believe it is. When someone says they will pray for me, I take it as a sincere gesture.

OP, you shouldn't take "I'll pray for you" as a cop out. It is a kind gesture. Prayer is a very personal thing for many people. It doesn't matter if you are an Athiest, Christian, Muslim, or whatever. If someone says they will pray for you, then you should just say thanks and appreciate it as a kind gesture.

Now, if someone says it to you in a very condescending, insulting way then you have everyright to tell them off.

However, I find that in 95% of the situations where it is said to someone, it is VERY sincere.

Hanson · Joined: 20 Oct 2004

Isn't this the new avatar of.... someone..... I know I've seen it recently.

seoulsucker · Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:16 pm Post subject:

David Cross had a great bit on this. To paraphrase, he said, "I love it when people tell me they're going to pray for me. I'm like, "You sure? 'Cause I'm gonna do some blow and *uck that girl, but you've got this covered, right?!"

ED209 · Joined: 17 Oct 2006

jinks · Joined: 27 Oct 2004 Location: Formerly: Lower North Island

Yeah, I liked your avatar when I first saw it, too.
But back to the OP; I'd NEVER say I would pray for someone I didn't know very well, but recently I have had occasion to tell one or two people that they have been/will be in my prayers. I'm not super-religious, and neither are most of my friends, but sometimes real bad shit happens and all you can do is pray the hurt will be eased.

ED209 · Joined: 17 Oct 2006

I put people in my thoughts. I've found little was ever achieved by wishing, spell casting or begging a supreme being to intervene as Ambrose Bierce puts it "Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

VanIslander · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:16 am Post subject:

what they mean is "*beep* you" but in the nicest way possible

crusher_of_heads · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:47 am Post subject:

sojourner1 · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:09 am Post subject:

It just means there is nothing you can do and it's out of your hands when you say, "I'll pray for you," that you live, get a job, or pass a very important final exam your college graduation is dependent on. It would be nice to have people pull strings when you need them to, but this usually is not the case. No one wants to be in a situation being told, "I'll pray for you," as this downright sucks. I know, I've been there bumming out on no job, no money, no place to live, no car, and things like the fear of failing a college exam. It means, " I love you or respect you, but you got to do what you know is right and what's best for you to work out your problems or die."

ED209 · Joined: 17 Oct 2006

It could also mean that they pity you. Which can be insulting. Added to the idea that I somehow need their ear with God. But hey I'm atheist, prayer is never a good thing to do around me.

nosmallplans · Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Location: noksapyeong

why tell them?

telling people shit like, "my mom is in the icu, boohoo," is worthless. what are they gonna do. send flowers, a card? sure and then what? they'll pull some strings and have a famous surgeon perform voodoo and bring her back to life.

you're setting them up for failure. why burden people with the knowledge. hell, it could be worse. at least they think they're doing something. what would an atheist say?

"i'm sorry as i neither believe in god nor destiny i can only say that eventually your mother will be dead and rotten one way or another and i'm sad your sad."

"i'll pray for you," is about a nice as thing i could ever hope to hear. it means that someone cares enough that they are willing to put aside time in their day to talk to what they believe is a higher power to go out of it's way to do a miracle for your loved one.

unless everyone you know has secret ties to medical organizations around the world and is holding back on you, i don't think anyone could possibly do more. it's terrible that you guys can be offended by religion. how can you expect to be happy with anyone if what they do bothers you so much that you can't even take a nice gesture as it was meant to be.

ED209 · Joined: 17 Oct 2006

jinks · Joined: 27 Oct 2004 Location: Formerly: Lower North Island

I agree - I will pray for you sounds pompous and condescending. Bad stuff has happened recently, and even though I wasn't directly involved, some of my close friends have suffered. I have told them that they are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't believe in an interventionist God who can wave a magic wand and put things right, but I do believe in the power of support and love. If anyone told me that they would pray for me because my personal activities/beliefs contradicted their own, I would be mightily offended. But when my friends support me in hard or uncertain times by letting me know they are thinking of me - I really appreciate it.
amen