Korean Job Discussion Forums

[wayfarer]

In Korea it's so easy to get in the habit of bowing and nodding to everyone you meet, that you might fail to realize there are people to whom you shouldn't bow. This includes your co-teachers. As a native English speaker you are a threat, and as a foreigner you are an object of disdain. That's why they don't bow to you. If you bow to them in the morning, you are reinforcing the position of superiority they've staked out for themselves on the hierarchy of a Korean school's social web. Please don't play into this offensive game.

Bow to your principal and VP for sure. Bow to the other Korean teachers, the ones who aren't English teachers, if you feel like it. But never never bow to your co-teachers, even if you have a good relationship with them.

And if you're a crapwon slave, don't bow to your boss.

[Jeff's Cigarettes]

I never and have never bowed to any Korean regardless of rank. Why would I...I'm American.

[wayfarer]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[PRagic]

Ever stop to think that they might not be bowing to you because they know more about your culture than you do about theirs? They know that in your culture, people don't bow so they don't. Simple enough.

Plus age and status have a lot to do with it. It is the younger person's responsibility to offer up a greeting first, which is then supposed to be acknowledged by the older person with higher status.

If you spend this much time reading into things and worrying about ego-based slop, you're in for a long, long rough ride here.

[wayfarer]

[IncognitoHFX]

[fromtheuk]

Long ago, I used to greet my previous co-teacher. I eventually noticed she never initiated a greeting and used to bad mouthe me with other teachers.

I stopped greeting her and then later she asked why I don't greet her. I innocently replied I didn't know what she was talking about.

My opinion is with some co-teachers you need to show them in subtle ways what you really think of them.

Many Koreans at my school used to show disrespect because I don't mix with them.

I recently told an acquaintance who works in the V.P's office I think the teachers at this school are rude. I also told him I think the staff at Homeplus are far better.

I hope he told everybody.

[I'm no Picasso]

Don't be f*cking rude.

Bow. Especially if someone bows to you first.

A little story:

I also started to think maybe I was being ignored by some of the teachers (especially male) at my school, when I had to go out of my way to get them to stop gazing everywhere but at me so that I could even bow first. Then they would return with a very little bow, without even looking at me.

It was starting to get on my nerves. I was starting to make all kinds of assumptions.

Then we had a company dinner and I got talking to them for the first time. They're English isn't fantastic, my Korean blows, but we had a good night together and figured out it was just reciprocal nervousness. I've never been in Korea before. They've never been around a foreigner before. We're not sure what seems normal and what seems stupid to the other person, and no one was taking the initiative.

Now they give me a big wave and "Hiiiiiiii!" whenever I walk in. And it's really nice to have them greet me in such an "American" way. Makes me feel a little more at home.

So. In short, don't be f*cking rude.

Bow.

[IncognitoHFX]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

[sojourner1]

I bow if someone bows to me, but never the 1st to bow. I learned in my 1st year that bowing did not earn me any brownie points nor work. I think it didn't work, because they knew it's not a part of my culture so it didn't mean anything to them as they thought I don't understand anything about why people bow. It's the same as Koreans not expecting you to speak Korean and then confused unable to listen and respond appropriately due to being startled when you do.

You are not expected to emulate their norms and if you attempt to do so, you will be putting yourself in one awkward position. Of course, good common courtesy goes a long way with those you're working with. It's very diferent at work than out on the streets as at work people do say, "excuse me," if they're in each others way or have an accident bumping into each other. These little common courtesies are all you need to practice.

And don't bow to someone younger for sure if you're so inclined to bow. That's way inappropriate and gives you away as a pushover who can't lead a flea.

[wayfarer]

Yes, the custom is for the younger person to bow first. Again, if you find yourself doing this and they don't acknowledge it, they're being intentionally rude.

It comes almost automatically to me because I believe in courtesy, so I have to remind myself not to do it for my co-teachers.

No way are they abstaining from it just because they know it's not Western. Bowing back to someone comes so automatically in this culture, they will only refrain from it when they want to be c<nts.

[I'm no Picasso]

[wayfarer]