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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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 Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:10 pm Post subject: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears' |
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| Has this happened to you? Someone you've been friends with for a while in Korea but you've moved away from is suddenly unreachable for several months, his phone doesn't work, and he's not responding to emails? And your few mutual acquantances haven't heard from him either. The time he went off the radar doesn't correspond with the end of a school term or some time he might be prone suddenly to take a holiday somewhere he wouldn't be bothering to check his email. Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
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Xuanzang
Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Sadang
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:13 pm Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Has this happened to you? Someone you've been friends with for a while in Korea but you've moved away from is suddenly unreachable for several months, his phone doesn't work, and he's not responding to emails? And your few mutual acquantances haven't heard from him either. The time he went off the radar doesn't correspond with the end of a school term or some time he might be prone suddenly to take a holiday somewhere he wouldn't be bothering to check his email. Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
You could start a Facebook group or post at the local teachers facebook page then out them on here. I hope nothing bad happened to your friend. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:41 pm Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Has this happened to you? Someone you've been friends with for a while in Korea but you've moved away from is suddenly unreachable for several months, his phone doesn't work, and he's not responding to emails? And your few mutual acquantances haven't heard from him either. The time he went off the radar doesn't correspond with the end of a school term or some time he might be prone suddenly to take a holiday somewhere he wouldn't be bothering to check his email. Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
Could he have done a "runner"? |
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Yesterday
Joined: 15 Aug 2003
Location: Land of the Morning DongChim (Kancho)
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:56 pm Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
Don't post it on Daves...
I had someone disappear here - and I posted a thread on daves - seeking information to that persons whereabouts...
10 days later - the police found the person - in a local hospital ward..
so I asked the moderators to delete my thread - as the person had been found..
HOWEVER - many pricks on this board started up a new thread - wanting to know everything (what had happened to him, etc etc etc etc)
When I refused to answer (and give away the privacy of this "missing person - being found in a hospital ward" -
the pricks started accusing me of being a TROLL...
so - I just recommend NOT posting it on Daves - too many pricks on here.. |
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IncognitoHFX
Joined: 06 May 2007
Location: Yeongtong, Suwon
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I've had friends do this after they met a great girl. They go off the radar until things start winding down. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:21 am Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Yesterday wrote: |
Don't post it on Daves...
I had someone disappear here - and I posted a thread on daves - seeking information to that persons whereabouts...
10 days later - the police found the person - in a local hospital ward..
so I asked the moderators to delete my thread - as the person had been found..
HOWEVER - many pricks on this board started up a new thread - wanting to know everything (what had happened to him, etc etc etc etc)
When I refused to answer (and give away the privacy of this "missing person - being found in a hospital ward" -
the pricks started accusing me of being a TROLL...
so - I just recommend NOT posting it on Daves - too many pricks on here.. |
Good advice. Don't ask a question and then pretend like you never asked it. Learn from Yesterday's mistake. |
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Whitey Otez
Joined: 31 May 2003
Location: The suburbs of Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| IncognitoHFX wrote: |
| I've had friends do this after they met a girl. They go off the radar. |
Yep. Some of my best friends here are now involved, and the old boys' code is apparently only a theory.
We're a fickle lot, anyway. Get hammered and make new friends. |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:04 am Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Xuanzang wrote: |
| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Has this happened to you? Someone you've been friends with for a while in Korea but you've moved away from is suddenly unreachable for several months, his phone doesn't work, and he's not responding to emails? And your few mutual acquantances haven't heard from him either. The time he went off the radar doesn't correspond with the end of a school term or some time he might be prone suddenly to take a holiday somewhere he wouldn't be bothering to check his email. Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
You could start a Facebook group or post at the local teachers facebook page then out them on here. I hope nothing bad happened to your friend. |
He has a facebook page but there's pretty well nothing on it and it looks pretty inactive. But thanks. |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:08 am Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Has this happened to you? Someone you've been friends with for a while in Korea but you've moved away from is suddenly unreachable for several months, his phone doesn't work, and he's not responding to emails? And your few mutual acquantances haven't heard from him either. The time he went off the radar doesn't correspond with the end of a school term or some time he might be prone suddenly to take a holiday somewhere he wouldn't be bothering to check his email. Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
Could he have done a "runner"? |
I really doubt it. When I met up with him in late October all was fine and then suddenly a month later I couldn't get ahold of him. Things seemed to be going well for him at work. |
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eamo
Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:08 am Post subject: |
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Maybe he just doesn't like you anymore!!  |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:10 am Post subject: Re: When a friend in another part of the country 'disappears |
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| Yesterday wrote: |
| Yu_Bum_suk wrote: |
| Is there any way to try to find someone short of 'outing' them on Dave's to see if anyone knows anything if you're wondering if a possibility you don't really want to think about happened to them? |
Don't post it on Daves...
I had someone disappear here - and I posted a thread on daves - seeking information to that persons whereabouts...
10 days later - the police found the person - in a local hospital ward..
so I asked the moderators to delete my thread - as the person had been found..
HOWEVER - many pricks on this board started up a new thread - wanting to know everything (what had happened to him, etc etc etc etc)
When I refused to answer (and give away the privacy of this "missing person - being found in a hospital ward" -
the pricks started accusing me of being a TROLL...
so - I just recommend NOT posting it on Daves - too many pricks on here.. |
Point taken. |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:14 am Post subject: |
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| Whitey Otez wrote: |
| IncognitoHFX wrote: |
| I've had friends do this after they met a girl. They go off the radar. |
Yep. Some of my best friends here are now involved, and the old boys' code is apparently only a theory.
We're a fickle lot, anyway. Get hammered and make new friends. |
I dunno - he was going out with a real hottie for a while but always had time to keep in touch. |
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sineface
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Location: C'est magnifique
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Hmmmm. Could be he just didn't like you that much. Or he's shit at keeping in touch. Or something bad may indeed have happened. You'll know best. Try sending him an email saying you just want to know he's ok, and that'll bet he end of it. Or try adding one of his friends from facebook, and ask them if they've heard from him. |
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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| sineface wrote: |
| Hmmmm. Could be he just didn't like you that much. Or he's shit at keeping in touch. Or something bad may indeed have happened. You'll know best. Try sending him an email saying you just want to know he's ok, and that'll bet he end of it. Or try adding one of his friends from facebook, and ask them if they've heard from him. |
I dunno. Since I moved to another part of the country over three years ago we've always met up a few times a year for dinner or a night out somewhere. I also noticed that his posting on this site stopped shortly after the last time I saw him and not long before I last tried to reach him. Maybe he just wanted to cut all ties with the past and make a clean start but I can't see why. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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can you go visit him - or his last known place? have you checked where he worked?
if you knew each other that well - do you have contact info for him back where he's from?
maybe he had a personal emergency back home and had to fly out w/o telling anyone and hasn't had a chance to let people know.
I've dropped out of sight a number of times in my life - people now know me and pretty much expect it but I'm also pretty good about not making them worry and staying in touch - because people do worry.
then again, I'm female. don't really know how it is for guys - but if you are worried enough to post on here - go ahead and start following up. it's no big deal, really it's not. and when you find him (think positive) let him know you were just watching his back - either he'll appreciate it or - well - you know.
good luck. |
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