Korean Job Discussion Forums

[afsjesse]

So this is the scoop. My friend from uni came over here with her boyfriend, they live in Gangneung. They have the same apartment and broke up 3 weeks ago. My friend is going insane crying, anxious etc...... calling me on the phone because the guy won't leave.

The school's are being very slow about getting him his own place and said they can't do it until March because that's when the moving season for Korean's is???? She is talking about going home but she doesn't want to. The guy won't go to a hotel because it's his apartment too and vis versa for my friend.

Is there anything that she can do to make the school speed things up? I suggested a love hotel for awhile but she's not keen on that idea. She sounds really desperate and is really upset over all of this. She just wants him out... any thoughts?

The only thing I said to try is to tell her school she will go home and not teach no more if they cant get him out sooner.

[strange_brew]

move in with you?

[Missihippi]

Sounds like they will be back together before long. If neither wants to leave and stay somewhere else..then neither really wants to leave the relationship. Maybe you should offer your place if you're such a good friend? ha

*edit* Link pics..if she's hot i'll let her stay with me. Chicks on rebound = target practice. lolz

[afsjesse]

MissHippi if you don't have anything logical to ad, do my brain a favor and STFU.

For you other clowns out there, I did offer my place to her and she did stay with me. However I live 3 hours south of Gangneung making it impossible to do. And yes, I do consider myself a good friend.

[Captain Corea]

Tell her to ask the school for "housing money" instead - and she can find her own place.

Seriously, how hard is this??

You live with your boyfriend, you break up, someone moves out.

Grow up people.

[Missihippi]

touchy touchy! It was your friends brilliant idea to move to korea with a significant other, not mine nor the schools. It's not the schools' fault that they couldn't make a relationship work. Why would they go out of their way to accomodate them, and spend more money for an apartment when your friend agreed to share one in the first place?

[afsjesse]

I'm not being touchy, I'm just concerned about my friend. Why would the school accomodate them???? Have you not read the contract about housing lately? In the event that you break up and you tell them, they have to find youalternative housing or give you the allowance to do so.

As for my friend finding her own place, I've tried talking her into that but no go. She doesn't have enough key money to do so.

[Missihippi]

[samcheokguy]

You live in Uljin? You are in trouble.

[afsjesse]

I love Uljin and I am NOT employet by the county I am EPIK directly, so they don't have sway over the problems I've heard about. I love this county and it's very beautiful. Why do you say I should worry?

[sineface]

Well, it would seem to be common courtesy for the guy to stay somewhere else until he finds another apartment. But apparently he's being a bit of a douche about it. Whatever. I say if they're mature enough to move to a foreign country together, they're mature enough to figure it out. Are you talking about Ganeung near Uijeongbu? If yes, there are plenty of perfectly nice love motels around there. I've had to house hunt there myself before, and it's actually pretty tricky. There's not much, so the school is probably right when they say wait for March. There really isn't any other option, if either one can't stay with a friend, nor can they continue live together. There's only so much you can do before they just have to suck it up and deal with it.

[afsjesse]

MissHippie let's do a math review.

There are two people we are talking about. Each with his and her own contract that specifies accomodations for each of them. Now they, stupidly, got 1 small apartment that is owned by my friends school administrator. 2 people = 2 aparmtents or the housing allowance.

Now because they have 1 apartment, one of them can request to move out or recieve the housing allowance under his/her individual contract. This is what my rational is based on.

They work at seperate schools and have a small one bedroom apartment and there is no way both allowances are being used to pay for it. Someone's probably pocketing the money.

It is not unreasonable to request different housing if you break up. It's been done a dozen times before. Please tell me why you think it is unreasonable when technically speaking they both have a right to separate housing?

[afsjesse]

Thank's Shin.,

My friend is in Gangwondo in Gangneung. I've said all of the logical stuff to her, ie: go to a love motel, talk to your school, talk with him, find your own place etc.....

She's making some headway I think with her school. But this idea that two people are not allowed to get separate apartments if they break up is ludicrous. They both have their own individual contract with housing specified for each of them. Just because they requested one apartment does not negate that claus. Technically one of them should be getting the housing allowance for not getting their own place.

[sarbonn]

Why the issue? Have her go in and tell the administration she needs the money for a separate place. If she's not willing to move, then it's really her problem to have to deal with. She's eventually going to have to do something. If she can't afford the key money, why can't she use the allocation they should give her to at least compensate for staying in a hotel during this time?

You asked for advice but seem keen on attacking people who might try to give it. The first person you attacked actually said something quite astute: There are many couples who go through this sort of thing and use the apartment as their leverage for maintaining the relationship, even if it happens to be a very dysfunctional relationship. If the relationship is over, she needs to find her own way to get out of it. You can help her, sure, but you can't solve her problems for her. You can offer advice, comfort and maybe even space, but if that relationship is over, she's really going to have to do something about it to really end it. I've dealt with a lot of friends who hang onto a relationship by a string, and tell themselves and others that they're staying in it for some of the most bizarre reasons imaginable.

Part of the bonus of her asking for monetary compensation for the apartment is that it gives the school an incentive to actually start finding her a place. Right now, they're pocketing any money difference because of the one place. If they have to pay for the place AND compensation, they'll rethink the whole "Koreans only move in March" crap.

[afsjesse]

The first part I agree with. It's the edit part that I think in uncalled for.

I've told her she must suck it up or get out. I'm just trying to see if there's anything I missing here.