Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sarbonn]

They say television is not informative. Well, I have learned important things from watching it. Such as:

1. Terrorists obviously need lots of sleep because as they approach the 24th hour of being awake, they start to make really stupid mistakes. (--24)

2. Every police department has about 6 people of all races, sexes, and creeds who do 99% of all the crime-stopping in their jurisdiction. (all police shows)

3. The FBI never solved a crime involving mathematics more difficult than addition before allowing the brother of an FBI agent to start working for them as a part time gig. (--Numb3rs)

4. Asian can't tell the differences between separate Asian races, and all of them can pass for Japanese. ("Samurai Girl")

5. Most criminal trials are won by a lawyer who spent the previous night searching law books for a ruling or strategy no one remembers or ever heard of before (--Law & Order, Eli Stone)

6. The most dangerous criminals are ALWAYS moved by a truck in the middle of the night on very deserted roads, especially if there is a risk that someone might threaten to break them out of police custody. (--too many police shows to count)

7. I will never be haunted because ghosts only haunt very beautiful women who are so beautiful they would never, ever date me, and thus, I'd never see these ghosts. ("Ghost Whisperer")

8. Enemy military personnel are never taught to "cook" a grenade, so there is never any risk that an enemy soldier might pull the pin on a grenade, count 3 seconds and then throw it so that it explodes upon impact, always giving me the opportunity to pick up their grenade and throw it back at them so it explodes on them instead. (--almost standard for every war show)

9. Computers are so easy to hack, and the government employs super tech geeks who spend all day doing nothing but hacking computers by pressing random buttons on their computer keyboards, rarely even using the mouse. (--24, Torchwood, Chuck, and so many others that I've lost count)

10. Every cop has that "one" case that got away, but fortunately, something will happen that will allow that cop to finally close that case for good. (--police show fodder...happens all the time)

11. Only really beautiful people work for the government and police departments. If someone ugly works for them, that person is even more popular than the beautiful people.

[sojukettle]

.......The military taught the 25-year-old US soldier not to panic. And watching television taught him to pull the toggles on the already-deployed parachute to steer......


http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/first-skydive-takes-terrifying-twist/2009/02/04/1233423258253.html

[ED209]

12. The FBI only has 20 fingerprints on their database. All of which flash up on the screen with faces when they do a search.(CSI et al)

13. The only way to cure a patient is to almost kill them five times, using five different doctors, while ignoring any insurance issues. (House)

[misschel]

[Rusty Shackleford]

14. A few taps on the old keyboard can take any grainy, low res security camera footage and zoom in on the "perp's" face and blow it up to perfect high resolution dimensions. Then all you have to do is run the face against the FBI database and your home.

[soul rebels]

any guy thats the main character of a tv show can knock out a bad guy with one punch an that person will remain unconcious for as long as is required to do what has to be done.

all crimes/problems etc are always solved in a one hour episode

thier always a black guy that is the police captain an call the rogue white officer who is the main character into his office yells at him for disobeying police procedure an threatens to take away his gun an badge...

thier are a few exceptions to these like the wire.... but thier few an far between

[Captain Corea]

-ammunition only runs out when the plot says it should (any cop show)

-poor fat guys get hot chicks (the Flintstones, King of Queens, etc..)

-fat old bad guys are indestructible (NTPD Blue)

-In an average city block, there are murders, couples cheating, people being arrested, and so on... all with each other. (Desperate Housewives)

-Kids disrespecting their parents is funny (The Simpson's, Married with Children)

[ED209]

[Bondrock]

homeless people are:

1) holders of advanced degrees in Physics, former Professors, or retired judges.

2) millionaires or children of millionaires

3) able to totally recall minute details about crimes they witnessed no matter how much booze they drink or how long ago the crime occured

4) loved and respected by the ordinary citizens in the neighborhood

[blurgalurgalurga]

When you get shot in the abdomen with a burning arrow, you almost instantly die. Thanks, Lost!

Newborn babies are not particularly disgusting looking at all, no, not at all purple and mottled and covered in gross shmegmic residue; in fact they look much like a two month old baby who's just popped out of a soapy bath, with maybe a little shampoo still on.

Getting shot is no big deal. You either instantly die, or get 'winged' heroically and continue to fight on. It's okay--you won't get shot in the guts and die slowly over the course of a day or so, and you won't EVER get shot in the genitalia, and you'll never lose a limb, unless you're on Battlestar Galactica, where they'll make a really big deal out of it to the point that you're basically a gim(p)mic.

[Underwaterbob]

90% of alien races spread throughout the universe mysteriously speak perfect English, unless the fact that you can't understand them is somehow a plot-point.

[fadedgirl]

1. Never do a dirty job. You'll get something dirty in your mouth. (Dirty Jobs)

2. You can survive any situation by eatting a lizard and drinking your piss and occasionally the water from elephant dung. (Man vs. Wild)

3. Your body can freeze in the Bering Sea in around 40 seconds, but your buddies in another boat will always be there to scoop you out before you actually do. (Deadliest Catch)

4. If you're blond and play stupid, you'll get the most attention. (every show ever.....especially Paris Hilton's British Best Friend)

5. You still have another shot at love. Are you interested? (A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila)

6. Xzibit can pimp...anything! (Pimp My Ride)

[Cheonmunka]

Your mentally unstable unkempt neighbor who walks into your house unannounced everyday and then helps himself to your food while having a verbal amd critical tirade over you is a guy who everyone, including you, really likes and welcomes into their lives.
(Seinfeld)

A mostly out of work guy who could not graduate junior high has the uncanny affordibility to live in the same NY apartments as his well-heeled upperclass friends.
(Friends)

No one enjoys a cigarette.
(Any TV show)

You can sit around in a cafe as long as you like, never order anything, not even a coffee, without ever being ever shown the door.
(Friends)

Despite sitting in a bar till closing time every night of the week, you can still function in your day job, can begin new relationships, and can even (despite propping up the bar with your postal worker wages) afford a house in central Boston.
(Cheers)

You can do just one of those slow graceful wide-swing arm punches and the bigger guy will collapse.
(Magnum PI)

The 'good guys' car will become airborne hitting the ground at 30 degrees @ 60 mph yet will never break an axle nor even bend a wheel. Maybe the fender will fall off. The baddy's car chasing will hit the fender and become airborne.
(Any show)

If you rear-end a car at speed your car will fly over it , turn in the air and land on the roof. You will kick the door open and hop out.
(Any show)

No one ever talks about money (or lack of it.) No one ever pulls out a billfold.
(Any show)

You will hear the band play (rum ta ta rum tum) when the Americans and allies enter battle. Sound effects are played when the enemy enters, most usually the sounds of dying.
(Any battle scene)

[flakfizer]

If you're an ugly man and willing to dance around like an idiot, you can be famous in Korea. (most Korean "comedies)

If you're a pretty woman and willing to laugh hysterically at an ugly man dancing around like an idiot, you can be famous in Korea. (see above)

It's easier to pixelate the brand names on people's shirts than to have them wear shirts that don't have brand names written on the front. (lots of Korean shows)

Aliens came to this planet thousands of years ago and gave us the technology to build great stone buildings. I guess they came here in stone spaceships or just didn't feel like sharing their metallurgical technology with ancient man. (several sci-fi movies/shows)

Dennis Kang is not a Korean. He's a superkorean.

[Fishead soup]

CSI- If you pull the right strings you can pretty much get anyone to confess. Particularly when you prey on their weaknesses.

It's easier to get someone to confess when you tell them that getting a lawyer will not help.

Special Victims Unit- You will never be fired for beating up a perp.

The tough cop was a gay lover in Oz.

NYP Blue- You don't need to work out because people will always be intimidated by the bald fat recovering alcoholoc with a cheesy mustache.

If you can't get them to confess offer two big bottles of coke.