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Being ignored at dinners
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D.D.



Joined: 29 May 2008

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:44 am    Post subject: Being ignored at dinners Reply with quote

It was they end of the year dinner so I decided to join the other teachers.

Soon I remembered why I had stopped going. I am basically ignored the whole time. Nobody comes to me with a toast or anything.

To add salt into the wound two teachers that were changing schools never even said bye. I had been good friends with those two teachers and they never talked to me the whole dinner or said bye when we were leaving.

They lack any skills on how to include outsiders. In China we always sat at a circular table and if anything we were the center of attention.

I don't want to be the center of attention but to be treated with some respect would be nice. I have never witnessed people who are so set in their ways as Koreans.
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soul rebels



Joined: 19 Nov 2008

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

went to a restaurant on friday with all the staff at my school 16 teachers are leaving the school and talked to most of the leaving teachers that speak english was a goodnight ...sorry to hear about your situation put its not like that at every school
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject: Re: Being ignored at dinners Reply with quote

D.D. wrote:
They lack any skills on how to include outsiders.

It's a cultural thing.

They have no qualms ignoring you without even a TOKEN comment or question to make you feel a bit involved. From start to finish, they are very capable of ignoring you completely. They don't see it as impolite or rude. They are very comfortable being insular.

My last job was better, smaller staff, greater interaction.
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anbrainblasta



Joined: 14 Feb 2009

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe you smell D.D. Have you washed lately.
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D.D.



Joined: 29 May 2008

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

anbrainblasta wrote:
Maybe you smell D.D. Have you washed lately.


Yes I used the shower in your sisters room.
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you try starting conversation?
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Chamchiman



Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: Digging the Grave

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OP, how's your Korean?
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Capo



Joined: 09 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ever thaught of making conversation urself? maybe they ignore you because u have nothing to say.

I loved going to work dinners they were fun. us FTs got invited out to more with our boss than others, because the koreans always wanted to goto the expensive sashimi place, but we were happier with soojaebe and just wanted to enjoy ourselves rather than eat food we were too cheap to buy ourselves. sure there are some points where they speak korean, but so what its more comfortable for them, but we had plenty of english conversations too and could talk amoungst ourselves anyway.
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Perceptioncheck



Joined: 13 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Capo - I think it's a bit different when you're the only FT. It's hard to "talk amongst yourselves" when there's only one of you. Well, it's not hard but it does lead to some funny looks.

D.D - I hear you. When I go out to dinner with one of my schools, I feel like the Smelly Girl; people trip over themselves as they frantically try to find a seat as far away from me as possible. I can kind of understand as nobody at this school speaks English but what do they think I'm going to do, give them a grammar quiz?

I usually end up sitting in the corner and get quietly sozzled with the maintenance man who doesn't mind that I can't speak Korean and he can't speak English. As long as we can keep each others shot glasses topped up, we're both happy.
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Big Mac



Joined: 17 Sep 2005

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

At least you're still invited to dinners and stuff like that. I was invited to several of them my first few weeks and they were great...I had a really good time getting to know the other teachers and everything seemed to be good. It was difficult because most of the teachers can barely speak any English at all, but I didn't mind. Then it all stopped.

I haven't been invited to anything now in about five months. No explanation. The only thing I can think of is that the other teachers think it is too difficult to try to communicate with me so they are more comfortable without me there. It's very strange, but what do I do? I can't go to social events no one tells me about!
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nomad-ish



Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm used to getting ignored as well at these staff/department dinner meetings, and just eating and planning out things i've got to do in my head. but i was pleasantly surprised on friday when the whole english department (save one teacher) actually had a conversation IN ENGLISH for a good 20 minutes!!!! that's never EVER happened to me before.

what's even better, my favourite co-teacher took a swipe at my handler about working me too hard Very Happy
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sobriquet



Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Location: Nakatomi Plaza

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i normally just sit there and fondle my sack under the table during staff dinners.
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man_of_words



Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:52 pm    Post subject: Sack fondling... Reply with quote

Do you use one hand or both?
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sobriquet



Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Location: Nakatomi Plaza

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Sack fondling... Reply with quote

man_of_words wrote:
Do you use one hand or both?


one, but sometimes I forget to take my chopsticks out and spear myself.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I haven't been invited to anything now in about five months. No explanation. The only thing I can think of is that the other teachers think it is too difficult to try to communicate with me so they are more comfortable without me there. It's very strange, but what do I do?


Invite the interesting ones out for dinner on you.
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