Korean Job Discussion Forums

Illysook · Joined: 30 Jun 2008

During new student orientation tomorrow, I am supposed to give a one minute speech extolling the virtues of my hagwon. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. What good things would you have to say about your school?

I might go with:

small class size enabling individual attention,
teachers who make sure that our students have fun while learning.

I should probably have a third point, but I'm stumped.

afsjesse · Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Location: Kickin' it in 'Kato town.

"Our hagwon will not physically punish your children! That's right, they will be treated humanEly here!"

Laughing

Yu_Bum_suk · Joined: 25 Dec 2004

90% of them won't have a single clue what you're saying and 10% may be able to pick out a few words. Management's main concern at such an event is showing that you're indeed a native speaker and not a Russian. Recite Psalm 23 and throw in a few extra 'good's and 'very good's, then bow like a drone, wave with both hands like an airhead, and exit the stage.

Mr Crowley · Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Location: Suwon

cruisemonkey · Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:40 pm Post subject:

Xuanzang · Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Location: Sadang

Tell them their children will study hard and learn a lot. That`s all the words they want to hear anyway.

Pwillig · Joined: 26 Jan 2009

If they're here, they're not out doing drugs!

Or you could speak like Bruce from Family Guy Very Happy

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3576221235785999010

Cerriowen · Joined: 03 Jun 2006 Location: Pocheon

While you're at it... mention that the whole sex scandal was just a misuderstanding. Laughing

Seriously though... you might want to ask what the schools moto is, what their advertisements say, etc...

I'd stick with
- I'm happy to be here
- I love teaching here
- Kids here are so happy
- Kids will learn a lot
- Kids will be motivated
- Excellent learning environment
- Great support from the school
- Coworkers are helpful...

Think of as many completely B.S. phrases as you can, put them together, and try really hard not to gag when you read it.

You know it's B.S.

The parents who can understand you will (probably) know it's mostly B.S. but they want to hear it anyway. It helps them feel like they aren't really putting their kids though a hellish childhood string of "concentration" camps and mental torture... they're being great parents for spending so much money!

tanklor1 · Joined: 13 Jun 2006

yingwenlaoshi · Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Location: ... location, location!

Tell them you hate kimchi and that their kid would be better off just doing something else or staying home since he walks into your class every day whining "Gaaaame!" Add that he never does homework or studies and is too thick-headed to understand that he shouldn't be speaking any Korean. Ask them if he has any mental problems since you've told him this time and again, but it doesn't seem to register.

While you've got them, ask them if they want a teacher or a clown. If they say they want a teacher, reply in a sarcastic tone "Reaaaaaaaaaallllllllly? Are you sure?"

tanklor1 · Joined: 13 Jun 2006

Zulethe · Joined: 04 Jul 2008

This is the exact thing I'm talking about....God I can't believe the dumb questions on Dave's.

YOU'RE IN KOREA THIS IS NOT AN APPLICATION FOR A CEO POSITION!! You have to talk to people for one minute...and you need ideas...??

goodness gracious...go back to your uni and ask for your money back.

seriously mate....seriously!!

Illysook · Joined: 30 Jun 2008

I would like to thank those who offered genuine advice in this thread. Things worked out fine. As a new teacher, I just needed a little reassurance that I was going in the right direction with it.

I think that it is harsh to call people who ask questions "losers." I think that people here ask questions about ordinary things because they are in a rather extraordinary environment and that it is good that they have the courage to be vulnerable within the climate of negativity that this board seems to have.