Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mayorgc]

Once or twice a week, for the past 4 weeks, there will be a really loud commotion coming from the apartment next to me. Usually, the riot starts after midnight. The first time it was alarming, what with all the projectiles being tossed around and the screaming etc. Now, I'm starting to get used to it. But the last two incidents are a bit worrying. It sounds like a woman is getting the p!ss knocked out of her. Last night, there was a loud thud and I could hear the woman scream something. Then, there was the weirdest crying going on for about 15 minutes. I was half asleep though, so the exact details escape me. For all I know, they could be having incredibly awkward sex involving toasters.

So what should I do (if anything at all)?

I can't speak a lick of Korean and I don't think I've ever seen the couple before (i'm barely ever in the halls).

I've got the phone number to the police (the english hotline apparently).
I could knock on their door to make sure she's not getting killed.

Back home, I'd just call the cops. Over here, I'm not so sure.

[afsjesse]

I'd call the police. No need to get personally involved in it yourself. But as a concerned resident that's what I'd do.

[bassexpander]

In short -- other than complaining to management in the building, there is really nothing you can do. You just don't want to get involved unless a gun goes off or a bloody knife gets shoved through your wall.

The police here do virtually nothing about such home violence. If you get involved, they will likely find you to be at fault for something or other. I know of a guy who jumped in and helped a woman on the street when her loving hubby was beating the heck out of her in broad daylight. The bleeding woman turned around and went after the foreigner for "saving" her from her abusive husband.

I was in a coffee shop in Jungno with a Korean ex-gf about 6 years ago (dating at the time). I spied a similar incident across the street where a guy was smacking the living daylights out of his girlfriend. I told my gf I was going outside to help her, and my gf freaked out. She just couldn't understand why I would want to get involved.

In short -- other than complaining about the noise, in this culture, you should ignore it.

[Faunaki]

If it continues, call the cops. The same thing happened back home and we could hear the actual hits, etc. It just kept on happening and getting worse and worse so we finally just called the cops every single time it happened.

But...I've yelled and screamed and threw things at my husband before so..... make sure it's not just a screaming fight. If you know what I mean.

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Ah, what I don't miss about Korean apartment living.

Keep a camera that can make video recordings by the door and if any violence spills out the door document it. Otherwise there's not much you can do.

[bluelake]

[Chamchiman]

[mayorgc]

well, I've read enough wife beater stories on Daves (thanks to desk warming during the break) that I know not to get directly involved.

But the idea that a lady could get seriously maimed or worse while I did nothing is a bit unsettling.

I'll get my GF to talk to the adjoshi in the lobby next time it happens.

[michaelambling]

[ED209]

Even if it is sexual antics with toasters(are they Cylons? Time to leave the planet) if you are losing sleep call the police. And keep calling each time it happens.

If you see a girl getting beat in the street, how do you know it's her bf. I know 9 out of 10 it is. Just take out your hand phone and video it while shouting 'Naver! Naver! vid-e-oh!'

[KOREAN_MAN]

It's called passion, lol.

There's nothing you can do, really. Maybe you can make a complaint about the noise. The fact that she hasn't left him (or vice versa) means you shouldn't get involved. Call the police and she'll probably say she fell down the stairs or something (hence the bruises). Happens all the time in the U.S. too.

[ryoga013]

knocking on the door and making them aware others are in fact listening may get them to be more cautious of the screaming etc but not reduce the damage they are doing to their apartment or to each other.

[Rteacher]

My experience also is that intervening is not appreciated by either party, and the police are pretty useless.

At my first job in Korea the hagwon directer said that my apartment was safe because two police lived on the same floor. I heard a lot of late-night domestic violence coming from their rooms, and I complained to my director that I had trouble getting enough sleep to teach effectively.
He eventually got me a better apartment in a new building.

My advice would be to do likewise and approach your school authorities about it. Probably nothing much can be done to curb the violence so see if there's any hope of getting relocated. If not, invest in some high quality ear plugs.

[Perceptioncheck]

There was a young couple who used to live next to me who would argue all the time. The woman would scream and whine and shout at the guy and then there would be a couple of very loud thuds. After that, she would stop screaming. Interestingly, somebody else (a Korean) must've called the cops on these two because I came home and there were a couple of men in uniform loitering in the hallway. They didn't appear to be doing anything other than smoke and look leery, but at least they were there and I never saw that young couple again. But that just goes to show that people do occasionally call the cops about domestic violence.

[VanIslander]

back home the blue collar response is to ignore them,
the middle class suburban response is to call the police,

the Korean response to a man kicking a woman on the ground in public is to look away,
I dunno what it takes for Koreans to call the police in a domestic conflict (a cultural nuance)