Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jkelly80]

[bogey666]

riiiiiiggght.

something I just added to my previous post

of course you also haven't defined (because you CAN'T) at what precise age a person becomes "mature enough" (for YOU that is) to make their own personal decisions.

33 vs 19 is a 14 year age difference.

Is it different if he's 35 and she 21?
or if he's 40 and she 26?

if you had a triple digit IQ you might construct a scenario that involved both parties living away from home and being financially independent but you haven't even bothered to take such a necessary logical step to buttress your argument(s). Ergo - you're trolling nonsense.

btw - it's my contention that if you're going to necessarily use labels such as "predator" and "predatory", once the female is 24 and older, it becomes more and more likely that SHE is the "predator". (and in that case, I say good for her too!)

Perception Check wrote:

[Billos]

I go by this scale:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half_Plus_Seven_Graph_2.JPG

Half your age plus seven works for me but each to his own.

[samcheokguy]

I think more than 14 years is always a no-no. Just generation gap stuff for me.

[jkelly80]

Bogey:

You have a simple, simple mind if you think I'm Taliban. You're only interested in the 'liberalization' of sex roles only inasmuch as it serves your need for gratification.

I'm all for a healthy and open discussion and expression of human sexuality--kinks, homosexuality, multiple partners, whatever. The less constriction on people's sex lives the better. HOWEVER, I think there are limits, and they usually involve older men and younger women, or rich men and poor women (often a combination of the two). These limits should not be in a legal sense, but I think they're appropriate in a social one. People should disapprove of these set ups, and be vocal about it. I don't think they're relationships between equals, and that's where the 'creep' factor comes in.

Homsexuality, kinks, bondage, S&M, sex toys--I have no problem with these things as they're largely free of an inherent disparity in the power dynamic of the sexual relationship. S&M does have an element of unequal power dynamic, but it's built in to the relationship and (usually) fully acknowledged at the outset.

You're denying that there's a massive disparity in the power dynamic of a 33 year old and a 19 year old. That's being willfully ignorant. I'm not saying a large age difference is inherently creepy, but only college students should be shooting for 19 year olds. If you don't know, that's one thing. this is korea, they can look the same age from 17-30, especially if you're drunk. But you're being willfully ignorant and self serving if you think actively gunning for a girl a year out of high school when you're 33 is kosher.

Yes, I'm going to say a 19 year old girl, in most situations, doesn't have the maturity to deal with a 33 year old in a sexual relationship as an equal. If you think that's being condescending, you're wrong. It's reality.

[bogey666]

I don't disagree with a lot of what you said above.

but - you are fighting a no win situation. You can NOT in any reasonable sense DEFINE what is "equal" and then defend your definitions of a "power dynamic".

Furthermore, what if the 19 year old was actually looking for a no commitment relationship or merely wanted to get LAID? (I could easily argue that in a pure sexual encounter, the old(er) guy will be more responsible sexually and almost assuredly a better sex partner).

(btw.. let's see at 22, 21 actually, I was out of college. Does this mean 19 year olds were already verboten for me? )

and you can "societally disapprove" all you want - but to the people who think you are ignorant idiot, they won't be interested in, much less approve of approvals/disapprovals.

it's like telling Noi in Thailand that she's better off working under the scorching sun in a rice paddy all day, earnings pennies than working in a Bangkok gogo getting 100 USD a pop from some sex tourist. A far more drastic example (on purpose), but the principle is really the same. It's not for me, or you (or some NGO) to decide what is best for Noi.

What's really interesting is that an awful lot of women would REALLY object to your classifications of what is and isn't equal and "power" relationships. After all, such definitions if stretched high enough would automatically disqualify almost every single woman who is looking to marry a rich(er) guy. I don't think they'd take kindly to your social gerrymandering..

even your sisters

p.s. I never "gun" for a certain age (group). If a woman is hot, she's hot, in fact, I tend to prefer them older for many reasons, but I'll never go after a guy who wants the clueless drama filled young princess.

[cvmurrieta]

Didn't Nick Cage marry his Korean wife when she was 19? There certainly is more than a 14 year age difference there.

I wonder who was gunning for whom in that relationship

[waywardwanderer]

[jkelly80]

Disapproving of fat Navy retirees wife shopping in Manila is not Hitlerian. Christ are you serious? That's the height of lazy message board hyperbole. It has a high potential for abuse, and it should be scrutinized.

[waywardwanderer]

[jkelly80]

[pidgin]

"Weird" is an opinion, a state of mind, a perception....like "good" and "bad." Therefore "weird" doesn't really exist.

Take felching for instance,...it grosses me out.
I'd say that is strange behavior, but to a felcher who has felched on many an occassions...say, 1000 times... then what's another felch to him? Standard operating procedure, I'd guess. Not weird (to him) at all.

One man's weirdness is another man's Saturday night I suppose.

The point is jKelly disapproves, places limitations on, labels "weird" or just flat out decides that certain things are wrong, (even when they fall within the agreed laws of a society) without having personal or intimate knowledge of the actual situation or the people involved.

AND these "weird" things are being practiced by people who obviously don't consider them strange whatsoever.

Alls I know is that seems like alot of judgment to be carrying around. It'd suck to be him.

[jkelly80]

Oh wow man. So everything is relative? Far out.


'judgment' is the basis of determining value, even in the tricky realm of sexual ethics. So I'm fine with mine. thanks for your concern though.

[pidgin]

[michaelambling]

Since no one seems to understand what's going on here, let me spell it out for you.

A 33yr old sleeping with a 19yr old is not creepy.

A 33yr old taking a 19yr old's virginity is.

He obviously took advantage of her naivete and probably scarred her for life, just so he could get some tail and the internet bragging rights of sleeping with a young virgin.

If she's been around the block and knows the score, then that's great for all parties concerned. But to abuse a fellow human being with no concern for their emotional well-being is revolting.