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Rude?
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afsjesse



Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Location: Kickin' it in 'Kato town.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Exactly! And since you were alone he wanted to talk to you because in Korean culture being alone is bad. That's why you always here people saying 우리 "Our".

Our School, Our mother, Our father etc.... even though it may not be your school, mother or father. That's why you see two people caring one grocery bag.

Or it could have been just to say hello like alot of people do. But the one thing we must all remember is that we are guests in their country. We are not in the West where personal space is important. Korea is a different planet compared to where we're from.

Good Luck and enjoy every bit of it!
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michaelambling



Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

afsjesse wrote:
No It's not rude to do that really. Koreans are very curious about why we are here and that kind of stuff happens all the time. I don't blame you for thinking that it was rude because you obviously haven't been culturally adjusted to this type of action yet.


OH. MY. GOD.

I am so glad you dislike me, afsjesse.
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michaelambling



Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bobbybigfoot wrote:
seoulsucker wrote:
Try walking up to a Korean in McDonald's and asking about his/her meal.


"Oh, you like Big Mek??? But where is your kimchi and rice?! You are Korean. You must eat kimchi and rice every meal? Oh, Big Mek not spicy like kimchi. You only eat spice! So...where you from? Oh, handsome Korean. I touch your face now."


roflmfao
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afsjesse



Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Location: Kickin' it in 'Kato town.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never said I didn't like you Michael. If you disagree with what I wrote, that's alright by me. People have a right to disagree. Hate doesn't have to be involved. Very Happy
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya-ta Boy wrote:
Most likely the guy was trying to start a conversation. He used food as his opener.


Are you married?
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michaelambling



Joined: 31 Dec 2008
Location: Paradise

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

afsjesse wrote:
Never said I didn't like you Michael. If you disagree with what I wrote, that's alright by me. People have a right to disagree. Hate doesn't have to be involved. Very Happy


I apologize--I confused you with someone else who has a blue and white avatar. My sincere apologies.

But since you seem to be a sane person...

I think you should rethink the whole "cultural sensitivity" argument. I have lived in 3 countries besides my native land, and in every country--whether European or Asian--I have experienced the "ask the foreigner questions" nonsense. It isn't culturally relative; it's natural human behavior that is STOPPED by culture. Some cultures have encouraged sensitivity to foreigners; others haven't. Korea falls in the latter category.

So when the guy came up to the OP, he was seeing the westerner as a curiosity to be explored, not as a human being. Again, been there, done that. It is insensitive, it is dehumanizing, it is rude. It doesn't upset me anymore (I'm sure my tone sounds harsh, but I don't mean it)--in fact, I laugh at those people now for being unsophisticated bumpkins.

I agree with what you say in another post: just answer the question and move on. Sadly, it rarely ends there; one answer turns into an invitation to a conversation. In other countries, I've had guys ask me if I voted for Bush, if I like killing babies, why I'm so arrogant, what foods I like, etc. However, I've experienced none of this in Korea (good luck, I guess). But I did have one amusing experience: at Yongsan station a few weeks ago I sat next to an old guy who started rattling off U.S. Presidents' names as soon as I sat down, while looking straight ahead. He mentioned some pretty random ones, too (I remember Taft being in there).
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seoulsucker



Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had some pretty hostile encounters here that opened with a friendly "Do you like the food?" type question. Once you open that gate, sometimes it's hard to close it.
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samcheokguy



Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Location: Samcheok G-do

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where soju is invovled, you'll ALWAYS give the wrong answer if you 'talk' with them long enough. Always have a face saving excuse..."Nice talking to you(it wassn't) but I need to meet my girlfriend, Taekwondo class, gym closes, food shopping etc."
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Skippy



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: Daejeon

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, it is rude. Still it is not the end of the world! On levels of rudness I would call this minimal. I know it must have been annoying to leave your comfort zone and have to interact with people. Hey I am serious it can be annoying! Honestly I would grin and bear with the discomfort for a few minutes, talk with him a few minutes. Pray to god that he can understand you and he is eventually satisfied and leaves you alone. Also this interaction can go well into improve the opinions of foreigners in Korea.

It could be worse also. I was in Japan, eating a Wendy's burger and some Japanese beggar comes up to me and starts talking in JAPANESE which I do not know a lick of. he stuck around for 15 minutes. Pretty much ruined my meal as it got uncomfortable and confusing.

Your situation with the guy could have gone much worse. He could have just just stared at you or started yelling or talking loudly in Korean.

Sometimes you have to put down that book, turn off that MP3 player and start interacting with the world! Of course I will be watching a show on my PMP on the bus ride back from work - so take my opinions with a grain of salt.
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earthbound14



Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Location: seoul

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

seoulsucker wrote:
Try walking up to a Korean in McDonald's and asking about his/her meal.


best reply yet.

Most Koreans would say in Korean "Ahh kapchigiya" then stutter or say 'Michoseo' or "Onhhh Waeguk".

One of those odd paradoxes of being in Korea. Koreans come up to you and talk to you all the time, to the point where you feel the need to post about this odd behaviour on the interenet and ask if this is normal or rude. However every Korean I'v talked to in public (OK lots of them) seems to respond as if I have the plague, or like I'm that homeless guy asking for change. Even students who don't know me yet who come into the English office (my office) at our school and run into me by accident say that...it's my damed office mate...you're the waeguk in here.
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asams



Joined: 17 Nov 2008

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't necessarily asking if his question was the rude part, but more of him coming up to me while I was eating.

he was with someone, the restaurant was pretty full, I go in there pretty much everyday and always bring my ipod so I don't have to listen to the news which I don't understand a lick of and this guy interrupts my meal to ask a question

just work with me here: it's like if you see a celebrity in America, would you interrupt their meal to talk to them? I wouldn't because it's just rude to interrupt someone's meal simply out of curiosity
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yingwenlaoshi wrote:
Ya-ta Boy wrote:
Most likely the guy was trying to start a conversation. He used food as his opener.


Are you married?


Excuse me?
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
just work with me here: it's like if you see a celebrity in America, would you interrupt their meal to talk to them? I wouldn't because it's just rude to interrupt someone's meal simply out of curiosity


Don't take the rock star treatment too seriously. It's just a result of your white face. We were born with it; we didn't earn it.

99% of the time, when a stranger walks up to you and asks a question, he/she just wants to have a conversation. The 'danger' is acquiring an 'instant best friend' that you have nothing in common with. That can be a headache. The easiest way around it is to give a deliberately wrong phone number.

Koreans are a friendly people, as a general rule. It's up to you to control just how friendly you want things. You'll notice here on the board that the same people who complain that Koreans aren't friendly and don't like foreigners and are standoffish are also the same people who complain that strangers speak to them on the street.

Use more or less the same judgement you use at home. Intention is everything. Keep an eye out for the flakes--you can run into guys who claim that the Korean CIA is after them because of something that they did in Tennessee, but more than 9 out of 10 are just regular people who want to be friendly. Some of the aggressively friendly ones are a pain in the neck. Others are good people who turn out to be interesting.
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samd



Joined: 03 Jan 2007

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's rude to talk to anyone with earphones in.
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Ukon



Joined: 29 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unless it's a pretty girl Samd....

Ironically, the people who claim koreans are rude strike me as the type who have done rude behaviors to koreans as well in a tourist way....Like none of you have ever pointed at someone, asked a korean a stupid question, talked to someone in broken korea, completely ignored korean table manners, and never pushed anybody.

Yeah, it's all perfect gentlemen on daves....

So far the most annoying conversations I've been in have been with desperate 50+ year old white dudes who start up conversations in public and try to get my number within 3-4 minutes of meeting me....I've had that happen often on trains or seen it happen to other foreigners.


Last edited by Ukon on Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:23 am; edited 1 time in total
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