Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Robot_Teacher]

I was invited to a bulgogi dinner tonight by my school. We sat down and all started having a good time sampling many different things as we drank shots of oon dal sun, a bamboo wine. Got 1 hour into the meal, feeling half intoxicated in a very strange way, and this man who speaks some English sits down in the open space between me and the school principal, slams 5 shots, and says, "You're fat, I think you have heart problem." This was the only open space at a long table of 25 people, half of which I've never seen before and don't speak English. Keep in mind I'm only 10 pounds over weight and 2 Koreans are downright obese sitting at the table.

3 weeks ago, I had heart testing done which came up negative to find I'm experiencing anxiety due to feeling insecure, mainly from being in this country and the economic crisis looming over us all. Got put on a mild benzo and beta blocker which made me feel normal again minus being in Asia. I was getting anxiety and was suspecting heart disease so I went and got tested 3 weeks ago with negative results. My face got hot as anger began to engulf me seconds after this man says this so I ask him why he says this, but he refuses to answer. So I then sternly tell him this is bullshit to say this and ask him who told him my medical testing business matters and who blew it out of proportion. I've got anxiety from being in your strange country where people distance themselves and throw their trash at each other and then go on pretending like everything is great. I then ask him, "How would you feel if I told you you're old, wrinkled leather face, and ugly?" He can't answer, but gestures it would offend him with a grunt and harking loogie sound.

Again, I ask, "Who said I had heart problem? What business is it of yours if I do? Stay out of my personal matters as now I'm very offended and insulted." My school accountant sitting across from us said he was worried about me as he has interests in our PS. I said, "Why should he be worried about me, he doesn't know me?" She said he was our consultant for curriculum and business matters and was concerned for me. I said, "So he doesn't approve of me. Obviously since he wanted to talk negative and insult me just when we were having a very nice time, he doesn't approve of me or like me." Says, "yes, but you have to understand our culture." I said, "I understand clearly well, people are rude and truthful after having a few drinks, but distance themselves, because people like this man are uncomfortable with me being around." She says, "Yes, but you must understand our culture." Ah yes, I know, I've heard that one.

My thoughts after we all left the restaurant and went our separate ways. I don't think I'm going to stick around. I disagree with Korean culture on no respect for personal information and then blowing it out of proportion through gossip as any people would once their ears catch a hint. Smells of communism where you're under watch and everyone knows your personal business. I don't think it's right for someone who is a stranger to me to know my personal matters and then blow it out of proportion when my tests came negative. I have nothing to hide, but feel it's wrong to talk about me and then exaggerate as I know too well of any humans doing anywhere, especially old people.

And then use this knowledge to launch a verbal missile at the dinner table so I took it as an act of instigating a conflict. Dam Koreans wanna distance themselves when sober and then talk crap and threaten each other with missiles when drunk. LOL That's why there's 2 Korea's. He he he.

Gee, they got a line on your purchasing and money matters too? You can bet on that one. I think the point of no personal privacy and rights has been made clear to me. What about internet? I bet the apartment is under surveillance too with neighbors reporting anything they see or think about me. I verbally called bullshit and disagree with them directly. It's not right in my opinion just when I was beginning to take a liking and appreciation for their culture and was showing positive gratitude of being invited out.

[Ya-ta Boy]

[michaelambling]

[kiknkorea]

[Robot_Teacher]

Oh yes, I've been told that Spring snow season is the time of sickness, but none of the adults I see around here are sick. I'm the only adult with a runny nose cold, while half the youngsters are sniffling, sneezing, and coughing; some are actually missing school. When I say medical history, I mean going to the doctor in Korea; not before I came to Korea.

This man knows more about me than he should had, but got it wrong and then used a negative thing against me he heard about me. It's obvious he knows I experienced a great deal of worry if I thought I had or do have heart problems. This is not something to be bringing up without even introducing himself or attempting to get to know me first. What a jerk. He doesn't work at my school and I don't know exactly who he is other than him having interests in our school business matters. This is no way to introduce himself in positive face saving light. He was launching an offensive missile at me to say he is uncomfortable with me and disapproves of me for whatever personal reason he has to think this. They just talk about me all the time, but don't open up to me despite all my attempts. They as in principal, vice principal, and other guy, but can't speak English. I just hear my name all the time with a tone of speech of feeling concerned. I know they feel uncomfortable with me coming in here, because they believe Korea is for Koreans only and Korean food is for Koreans only. It really made them feel insecure that I could eat the food and drank some of their uh dal sun. Another man sitting next to me expressed he was surprised I'm consuming this Korean food and drink as it's Korean.

I am their 1st foreign teacher so they don't know how to deal with foreigners nor feel comfortable about it. This is in a small town where hardly no one speaks English.

[poet13]

I think you're way wrong....but you're right.
I didn't hear anything that suggested that he actually knew anything about your medical history, so there I think you were wrong. Really wrong if you popped off the way you said you did.
But you're also right. There is very little privacy in this country, especially in small towns. I have experienced that first hand.

[Robot_Teacher]

As in medical history, I mean seeing a doctor and visiting a hospital in Korea; not my life medical history. Of course this man doesn't know my medical history before Korea, but he was very rude and wrong so I spoke my mind. He's a disgusting old wrinkled faced rude adjossi. Only when I called bullshit on him did he feel ashamed and I did get an apology and accepted it and we parted ways peacefully. I'm just feeling bad about what was a good dinner event turned sour. I'm pissed that he came to blow it. Actually since we both had this oon dal sun in us, we were both speaking our minds with him starting it. It is a well known fact that booze makes people say the truth. This is why booze is used in business dealings.

[ulsanchris]

could it be you are paranoid? He said the thought you had a heart problem. Do you have any proof that somebody told him about your problem?

[kiknkorea]

[michaelambling]

[Robot_Teacher]

No good natured ribbin nor good intentions, this guy had negative intentions and was trying to burrow into my mentality like a sick worm. He didn't even introduce himself nor show any positive feeling. He's a disgusting drunk who did in fact hear things about me and doesn't like me so he just fired away. Why else would he popped this off as his 1st words?


You can't say he didn't know about me having a heart test. It's a 1 in many millions chance he would say this out of the blue. He knew and heard I had heart problem; not a negative results test. Gossip got blown out of proportion. Because he knew I had heart testing is proof enough he was told everything my school knows about me. Of course I told my liaison co-teacher and accountant what I was doing, because I felt it would be beneficial they understand why I took work off to go take a heart test. Of course, my co-teacher and accountant tells the principal and other teachers so everyone talked about me. They were concerned they'd lose me and that would be a loss of face to have a failed English program. Well, they were concerned bad fortune would come on them and their school; not me.

When you go see a doctor for anything, you're creating a stir of anxiety with those concerned; those with interests in your school or it's students. They don't care about you, you're a weird alien, but are seen as an important part of their education system. You're not liked, but you're valued.

[Forward Observer]

"You're fat, I think you have heart problem."

"Why don't you go *beep* yourself."

[rollo]

His english wa not very good and he was trying to express concern. Lose some weight. Stop being paranoid, the comment was meant in kindness.

[MrRogers]

Regarding all the inappropriate interactions, language...

it is so common in SK and part of the makeup of a culture/society which still functions in the state of mind of 1950's and 1960s (I won't get started); a lot of thought/behavior also seems medieval though everyone wants to be modern/international and have the latest cellphone.

So though people are frickin in your face and rude, some are totally unaware of western manners/behaviors. After many negative experiences on my part, I had to find some other way of working skillfully with their stuff - though I believe in honest feedback -its healthy for everyone - it is how to connect with it gently.

I hear ya, RobotTeacher, and I have had angry outburts in the past - but there came a point of trying to understand where they are at and work with it somehow.

[Straphanger]