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BS.Dos.

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:30 am Post subject: Students Farting in Class |
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One argument in favour of hiding behind your desk at the front of the class is so that you don't inadvertently walk into one of your students fart-fields. I got blind-sided by a real stinker this afternoon. It was like a cross between a Zoo's Rhino enclosure and trough full of rotting cabbage. I very nearly threw-up it stank so bad.
Little shits. |
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Panda

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:39 am Post subject: |
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fart fields.............  |
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MollyBloom

Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Location: James Joyce's pants
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:32 am Post subject: |
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I always feel really uncomfortable when the women in my office do it... |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:32 am Post subject: |
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I'm sorry, how do you control your farting? |
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Bollocks
Joined: 12 Feb 2009
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 10:14 am Post subject: |
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If I have class that I know is particularly troublesome, I make sure to spend the whole night beforehand up drinking soju and eating street vendor kimchi mandu.
The next day, I say to my students something along the lines of, "I know we've had our differences in the past, but I have a present for you. I hope this will make things better."
Then I stand and stare vacantly out into space, smiling serenely while I unleash a succession of ass gasses.
If they're quiet and don't react in any way, I usually allow them to open a window and will teach the lesson as normal, while making an effort to point my butt outside whenever I feel the need to let fly.
But, if they show any visible reaction, (ie, covering their faces, wrinkling their noses, frowning, or anything of the like), I tell them that the entire unit is homework and spend the rest of the class yelling at them in my made up german/russian hybrid language and farting as frequently as possible.
They love me. |
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Big_Bird

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:14 am Post subject: |
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Bollocks wrote: |
If I have class that I know is particularly troublesome, I make sure to spend the whole night beforehand up drinking soju and eating street vendor kimchi mandu.
The next day, I say to my students something along the lines of, "I know we've had our differences in the past, but I have a present for you. I hope this will make things better."
Then I stand and stare vacantly out into space, smiling serenely while I unleash a succession of ass gasses.
If they're quiet and don't react in any way, I usually allow them to open a window and will teach the lesson as normal, while making an effort to point my butt outside whenever I feel the need to let fly.
But, if they show any visible reaction, (ie, covering their faces, wrinkling their noses, frowning, or anything of the like), I tell them that the entire unit is homework and spend the rest of the class yelling at them in my made up german/russian hybrid language and farting as frequently as possible.
They love me. |
Bollocks. |
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feckingreal
Joined: 09 Mar 2009 Location: Craggy
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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farting is the last refuge of corporal punishment...
we should enjoy and deploy as often as possible...
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harlowethrombey

Joined: 17 Mar 2009 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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Kuros wrote: |
I'm sorry, how do you control your farting? |
Uh, you dont do it around other people and wait until you're in the bathroom/leaving a subway car. |
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Robot_Teacher
Joined: 18 Feb 2009 Location: Robotting Around the World
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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What about teachers farting? I find I've very flatulent with eating both Korean and western foods. Travelers get flatulence from eating different foods. If you stick to one cuisine and avoid beans, you won't be so flatulent.
I believe when a student or any one is flatulent, it's the cheeseburger on top of eating Korean food. |
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lou2565
Joined: 07 Mar 2009
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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Robot_Teacher wrote: |
I find I've very flatulent with eating both Korean and western foods. |
YES!!!
I can't wait...it's funny my good friend is 1st generation Korean here in the US and her house is always stocked with authentic and traditional meals...so in preparation for my upcoming trip I've been eating a ton of K food to adjust and sample...and holy crap have I been gassy...thought it was a coincidence but I guess not... |
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espoir

Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Location: Incheon, South Korea
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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Robot_Teacher wrote: |
What about teachers farting? I find I've very flatulent with eating both Korean and western foods. Travelers get flatulence from eating different foods. If you stick to one cuisine and avoid beans, you won't be so flatulent.
I believe when a student or any one is flatulent, it's the cheeseburger on top of eating Korean food. |
You only responded so you could use the word "flatulent" didn't you?   |
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mole

Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Here's a little yarn.
I was the first foreign teacher at a brand new ECC back in the day AND I was fresh off the boat. Green as they come. That's why I've earned the right to rag on n00bs.
After a couple weeks orientation (being thrown to the lions and having survived,) boss invites mums into my class to observe!
It was actually going better than I expected, when one little darling ripped the heaviest most pungent bbangoo ever that filled the little room and lingered rather than dissipated.
All the kids were very busy blaming each other or denying being the culprit.
All the pretty young prim & proper mums politely and discreetly made efforts to cover or fan away from their noses.
It was too much, though.
As soon as I lost my composure and started laughing uncontrollably, the mums did too.
Nice little ice breaker.
With the added bonus of killing a couple of my 40 minutes of torture. |
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loggerhead007
Joined: 22 Mar 2009
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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Drop a couple of hard boiled eggs and fight back. You'll have some serious heavy-air in no time.
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cubanlord

Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Location: In Japan!
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 5:09 am Post subject: |
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alright alright alright, I have been DYING to ask this question on here, and, since we are talking about stinky stuff, here goes...
Have you ever broken a vile of stink somewhere? you know, this:
http://www.the-joke-shop.com/showprod.asp?product=181
You know, I work at a Uni. and the students are soooo damn lazy to take the stairs to the second or third floor. I feel like cracking one on the floor of the elevator at 9am just to make sure they take the stairs. lol. I wonder how many would endure such vialness just to take the elevators? |
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itaewonguy

Joined: 25 Mar 2003
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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not only kids, adults do it too
on the bus or subway someone will just let one rip!
that's another reason I don't use public transport anymore..
the elevator is the worst!!! an ajossi's soju and pork fart! silent killer!!
yesterday I was in a store and walked into someones fart trail I almost fainted then a guy coming from the other direction walked through it and even said something, hope he didnt think it was me! probably thought that dirty foreigner hahahahaa... who knows where that fart sniper was but man did he leave a bomb!
kids on the other hand.. well they are kids.. but sometimes its more that a fart and they have shit their pants.. a few times in my years I have noticed a smell which lingers far past its normal time. and then had to make the rounds around the table to see who the culprit is. YES its always the little boy or girl just sitting quietly drawing away with pants full of shit! so I calmly pick up the student and ask very sweetly and nicely to come with me for a second and walk them to the korean assistants to take care of it.. couple minutes later the child rejoins the class with a new pair of pants smiling and happy without a care in the world hahaahhahaha
gotta love kids...
one good point of kindergarten kids is, you can just join in on the festivities and let some killers rip and they have no idea! they dont even blink an eyelid. it's funny hahahahaha |
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