Korean Job Discussion Forums

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

it's a long story and i'm not looking for pity. i've been drunk off my ass for days and need to get it off my chest because it's all too humiliating to tell to my friends.

i've been with her on and off for 3 and a half years now. i met her online when she lived in new york and i lived in cali. first bad sign. i wanted to visit her but she said i couldn't because of her landlord's rules. that turned out to be the rules of her live in boyfriend and later husband.

then i moved to seoul. 6 months later, she went back to seoul too, living with her parents just a 5 minute taxi ride away. she stayed with me for about a year and a half. things were fine, but i noticed she was still contacting her husband. eventually she went back to him. i got drunk a lot then. then i went home for a few months and flew to japan.

on the merit of her marriage, she got a green card. then, she said, she could be with me for good. she joined me in japan. her visa was only good for 90 days so we moved to america. i found a studio apartment (no roommates so we could have privacy) and joined a paralegal school. 2 weeks later (and 2 days ago) we had a fight and she walked out with her luggage (which she never unpacked). she's gone now. i dug up her old cell phone number the next day and found out she was at an airport in new york.

what was the fight about? probably the same we've had a million times. the fact that she's 29 and has never held a job, and my stress in general regarding living in america and supporting two people. but, still, after a fight, who goes straight to the airport and calls their "ex" to book them a plane ticket.

was i an asshole? sure. why was i an asshole? because i knew her background. why did i change my life around for her? because she is beautiful.

now i'm stuck in the gay district (it didnt matter when i was in a relationship) on a year lease. i've decided to quit paralegal school as i haven't paid yet, and wondering what chapter 8 (or so, i've lost count) of my life will bring me. decided to post this before i numbed myself with booze again.

the things people do for a pretty face.

Forward Observer · Joined: 13 Jan 2009 Location: FOB Gloria

Sometimes we have to cut our losses and move on, good luck man.

3MB · Joined: 26 Mar 2009

You mean you DIDNT see this coming?

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

unfortunately i was with the concept that people can change.

Rory_Calhoun27 · Joined: 14 Feb 2009

"Doomed from the start" comes to mind.... is any woman worth being on opposite coasts for? at the START? I see a "Dateline NBC" story in the offing....

As Jack Nicholson said in the first Tim Burton Batman movie, "Never rub another man's rhubarb..." Not just a warning, but sound advice!

reactionary · Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Location: korreia

very true. guess i was just thinking with the wrong head for the past few years. and yeah, started off on opposite coasts, but for a long time (over a year, if you add it all up) we were on different CONTINENTS.

worth it? no way. but she was drop dead gorgeous. i guess i'm superficial like that. and hey, i was lonely.

but yeah, i guess at least i can go back to traveling again. the worst part is giving up that job in japan though. guess im back on the jobhunt aga

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

mistermasan · Joined: 20 Sep 2007 Location: 10+ yrs on Dave's ESL cafe

ｅｖｅｎ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｉ　ａｍ　ａｎ　ａｔｈｅｉｓｔ，　ｔｈｅ　＂ｗｈａｔ　ｇｏｄ　ｈａｓ　ｊｏｉｎｅｄ　ｌｅｔ　ｎｏ　ｍａｎ　ｐｕｔ　ａｓｕｎｄｅｒ＂　ｈａｓ　ａ　ｂｅａｄ　ｏｆ　ｔｒｕｔｈ．　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｍｅｓｓ　ｗ／　ｍａｒｒｉｅｄ　ｆｏｌｋｓ．

3MB · Joined: 26 Mar 2009

You deserve whatever pain you are feeling. You messed with a marriage.

sweetmoya · Joined: 06 Feb 2009 Location: south korea

Girlfriend was a hot mess all along, cut your losses and go no contact with her. Take time to learn from this and heal. You were rather silly and you knew she was married, so you should take this as your lesson learned.

caniff · Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Location: All over the map

Time heals all wounds, as they say. This is true, IMO. I had a couple long-term relationships end and I was pretty depressed at those times, but looking back I really don't care too much.

I'm happily married now (and I expect I will be until one of us keels over). Point is, what looks like an earth-shattering event today will probably seem like not such a big deal in retrospect.

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

Didnt you guys see what he typed?? She is beautiful.....

Didnt men in history fight for beautiful women many many many many times?

I say, go for it.

I have a friend who went back and forth with his ex for 10 years, if he wanted to wake up, he would have waken up years years before, some people enjoy torment.

logan2003 · Joined: 20 May 2003

Um here it is basically. Your *beep* will give you a few moments of pleasure. Perhaps more. Then...it is all gone. The best is when you feel that pleasure with someone who will be there with you afterwards. Her being married....

A pretty face is not everything. My wife is beautiful. However, her other traits make me want to "get it on" with her.

I am sorry...you fell for a woman who was nice to look at...but perhaps not much more than that, as you two could not work things out between you.

Move on is what I say.

aboxofchocolates · Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Location: on your mind

Yeah, she was married, not him. Moral responsibility is on her side. Wisdom might dictate that you back off, given her behavior common sense might dictate that you back off, but god knows some people have manipulation down to an art. It's a little angering to hear about someone being used as a fling like that and outright lied to. When she calls back, op, do not answer. And she'll call back when she's sick of hubbie in the sack and she hasn't found another fling yet. She's radioactive, stay away. Don't call her on it, either. She may have manipulated you, but it's over and there is no justice for the guy sleeping with someone's wife. get over it, drink more, then drink less and move on.
Gay districts are probably good for parties.

sharkey · Joined: 12 Oct 2008