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traxxe
Joined: 21 Feb 2007
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 Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:58 am Post subject: Delay your father's funeral for three weeks.... |
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These are the words spoken by the head of my department ot one of my co-workers. This made me drop my mouth open and say, "Wow, I would of knocked the shit out of him right then and there because that statement is everything that is wrong with this country.
This isn't a hagwon. It's a uni. His father died and he asked for two days off plus the weekend (already off) to go to the funeral. He was asked to wait three weeks for midterms to bury his father as a favor to the university.
Freaking Korea. Sparkling. |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Goseong
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| That is ****** up. The only problem with Uni departments is generally there is no one to cover for you, but he could have made up his classes on a weekend later in the term. |
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TheMeerkatLover
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:26 am Post subject: |
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That request is a paramount example of the disrespect that they feel towards you. That comment alone would be worthy of simply walking out and doing what you have to do.
If anyone asked where you were, NOONE would fault you for burying your parents. If their parents died, I can guarantee you 100% they would NOT wait 3 weeks to bury them.
Completely disgusting behaviour of your university, and you should NAME them for all to see.
Meerkat |
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Johnwayne
Joined: 28 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:30 am Post subject: |
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Hardly unique to Korea. I had an administrator tell me that my father's death didn't constitute extenuating circumstances when I was attending university back in the States. When I challenged her callous assertion, I was told, "Oh, well maybe it is, but you're expected to get over it".
There are jerks all over the world. |
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cruisemonkey
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Location: Hopefully, the same place as my luggage.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:31 am Post subject: |
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I would dismissively ask my K-supervisor if he would do the same (if the situation was reversed)... and immediately proceed to book flights.
Condolences on your loss. |
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The Gipkik
Joined: 30 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:41 am Post subject: |
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| South Korea, for all its advanced technology, functions much the same as an autocratic society. I've taught in several Asian countries and only here have I been stopped and asked to show my ID by Big Brother. It's all top-down, dictatorial, hierarchical power. Never mind this antiquated belief in Confucianism. This is Confucianism on steroids. |
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Scotticus
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:49 am Post subject: |
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| Judging by the responses to the OP, some people need to read a little closer before posting... |
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fusionbarnone
Joined: 31 May 2004
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:52 am Post subject: |
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Condolences on your loss.
Koreans have also told teachers they aren't entitled to get married due to student needs. Happened to us. |
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bobbybigfoot
Joined: 05 May 2007
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:53 am Post subject: |
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| Korea. Loving and caring my a$$. |
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Kikomom
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:05 am Post subject: |
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Use a Confucianism strategy to get around this. Have the mother or an aunt or uncle call the boss with the request. Once an introduction and contact is made in this matter, respect follows.
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Korean Culture Meeting the Koreans
Korea is probably the most Confucian nation in Asia. At the heart of this doctrine are called 5 Relationships, which means that behavior between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, old and young, and between friends. Understanding this structuring of relationships is very important in making sense of Korean society.
All relationship requires a placement in some sort of hierarchy so that everybody knows how to behave and speak with respect towards each other. The middle-aged male office worker jumping the queue to pay for a drink at a [By The Way] store does not even see your presence because you have not been introduction and he has nowhere to place you on the scale of relationship. An introduction and an exchange of business cards would immediately place you into a category that would demand certain behavior from him. Once contact has been established, every thing changes. Courtesy is highly valued and most Koreans will go out of their way to be pleasant and helpful. And you should return the favor ? be polite and smile even when bargaining over prices in the markets.
Social Hierarchy People with a high status may still act arrogantly towards those with lower status. Status is governed by man factors. For example, who is the older of the two? Who has the better job? Who attended the better university? This notion of social status is one aspect of Korean culture that many foreigners find it difficult to accept it. If you are working in Korea, your employer might make it all too clear that he or she is on the top of the society. But for short-term visitors, this is hardly a problem and since most Koreans are anxious to make a good impression, visitors are accorded considerable kindness and respect. Although even this depends on which country you are form? people from rich countries have a higher position in the social hierarchy than those from poorer countries. |
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cruisemonkey
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Location: Hopefully, the same place as my luggage.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:31 am Post subject: |
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| Scotticus wrote: |
| Judging by the responses to the OP, some people need to read a little closer before posting... |
I don't think so... granted - parts are unclear as to exactly who's speaking because of the (non)use of quotation marks but 'read between the lines'. |
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moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:33 am Post subject: |
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| Kikomom wrote: |
Use a Confucianism strategy to get around this. Have the mother or an aunt or uncle call the boss with the request. Once an introduction and contact is made in this matter, respect follows.
| Quote: |
Korean Culture Meeting the Koreans
Korea is probably the most Confucian nation in Asia. At the heart of this doctrine are called 5 Relationships, which means that behavior between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, old and young, and between friends. Understanding this structuring of relationships is very important in making sense of Korean society.
All relationship requires a placement in some sort of hierarchy so that everybody knows how to behave and speak with respect towards each other. The middle-aged male office worker jumping the queue to pay for a drink at a [By The Way] store does not even see your presence because you have not been introduction and he has nowhere to place you on the scale of relationship. An introduction and an exchange of business cards would immediately place you into a category that would demand certain behavior from him. Once contact has been established, every thing changes. Courtesy is highly valued and most Koreans will go out of their way to be pleasant and helpful. And you should return the favor ? be polite and smile even when bargaining over prices in the markets.
Social Hierarchy People with a high status may still act arrogantly towards those with lower status. Status is governed by man factors. For example, who is the older of the two? Who has the better job? Who attended the better university? This notion of social status is one aspect of Korean culture that many foreigners find it difficult to accept it. If you are working in Korea, your employer might make it all too clear that he or she is on the top of the society. But for short-term visitors, this is hardly a problem and since most Koreans are anxious to make a good impression, visitors are accorded considerable kindness and respect. Although even this depends on which country you are form? people from rich countries have a higher position in the social hierarchy than those from poorer countries. |
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uh, so what you're saying is deal with rude, callous, socially unacceptable and downright abusive behavior with more of the same?
no, sorry, doesn't work.
the only thing that will ever change such grossly inappropriate behavior is to confront it head-on and call it for what it is:
number one prime BULLSH*T  |
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thurst
Joined: 08 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:41 am Post subject: |
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| cruisemonkey wrote: |
| Scotticus wrote: |
| Judging by the responses to the OP, some people need to read a little closer before posting... |
I don't think so... granted - parts are unclear as to exactly who's speaking because of the (non)use of quotation marks but 'read between the lines'. |
i think he's referring to the fact that the OP's father didn't die yet people are offering him condolences. |
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Kikomom
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: them thar hills--Penna, USA--Zippy is my kid, the teacher in ROK. You can call me Kiko
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:42 am Post subject: |
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No, Moosehead, what I'm saying is to use their own social heirarchy and cultural custom. I highlighted it in bold: Once contact has been established, every thing changes.
The father's death is the death of a non-entity until an introduction is made. Impossible for a dead guy, but not for the grieving relatives who want the son home for the funeral.
This should also explain the pushiness and the line-jumping people complain about as the article explains. |
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cruisemonkey
Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Location: Hopefully, the same place as my luggage.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:49 am Post subject: |
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| thurst wrote: |
| i think he's referring to the fact that the OP's father didn't die yet people are offering him condolences. |
| traxxe wrote: |
| His father died... |
Is this not past tense? |
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