Korean Job Discussion Forums

[hydrogonian]

Hi,

After round 1 in Korea, I really dont have a desire to return. However, I want to know that i have it as an option if necessary given the financial opportunity that it represents. The issue I have is that Im worried that my old high school would be notified of my return through the visa application process.

Not so much the school, actually, but a particular woman at the school who is in a position of power in the school just under the principal. While I was working at the school, she began to stalk me in my private time and this was the ultimate reason for my departure from the job and the country.

If I returned, and she was alerted to my presence in the country through the visa process, she would without a doubt track me down and make trouble for me. Big emotional stalking behavior type of trouble. She has the money and the free time to be able to devote as much time to this endeavor as she wished. To put it a different way, about the only person that Im truly frightened of on the planet is this 100 lb. korean woman. I just dont know what she'll do. It could be anything from physical violence to making my life hell in other ways if i was in proximity to her. This is the type of woman that is capable of any type of behavior. She almost followed me back to the states, and would have if her visa hadnt been denied. Thank god for whatever red flagged her in the immigration process..

To preempt any off-topic reactions/judgments: So, yes, there was a brief relationship (that I cut off at the first sign of trouble-after which the real pain began). No, it wasnt a good idea. Yes, lesson learned. And yes the price was paid tenfold or more.(I still predict at least on "dont s#@$ where you eat" pearl of wisdom.lol. yes, I know.)

Though, I will say that the full tale makes for an entertaining story...but its not really appropriate for this forum.. gotta protect the innocent/guilty and all of that.. ..I half feel that I need PTSD therapy from the experience though, she really made my life hell while I was in country, it was like escaping a prison when I left. Imagine that the person who controls your visa has it out for you, is violently jealous at any interaction of yours with any other female whatsoever..and was monitoring your off hours activities through credit card monitoring, physical surveillance, and other teachers who she trained to snitch on you. If anything was to her disliking, she would respond with crying jags, showing up at your apartment building late at night, increasing your classroom hours, and other forms of retribution in school and out. But she was hot. And awesome in the sack in the short time I was sleeping with her, best Ive ever been with. BTW, Ive waited a couple of years before posting this.

Given all of this, do you think I have anything to worry about in coming back to Korea? I would definately work in a completely different city/region. Am I being too paranoid about the old school being alerted?

Thanks in advance for all sincere and snark free responses:)

[Frankly Mr Shankly]

Immigration are flat out talking to other government agencies, much less individual schools. A guy I know should have done serious jail time for unpaid fines, but got out of the country scott free. Unless this person knows someone high up in immigration who could flag your name, you will be safe.

As for the stalking, give us some examples, now you have it out in the open.

[cdninkorea]

I don't think former employers are made aware of returning foreign employees, but it's possible (in other words: I have no idea). It's also possible that she'll find out you're in the country another way, if she's still keeping tabs on you (the Internet is useful for people like her in this regard). If that's the case, she'll find out even if Immigration doesn't notify anyone.

I have to ask: when she was making your life miserable, did you try getting the police or something involved? I wonder what the laws here are regarding stalking...

I'd certainly be interested in hearing the whole story, OP, but it's none of my business if you want to keep it to yourself (although I hope you don't )

[hydrogonian]

nah, no police..I was just trying to get through the assignment..That wouldve opened another can of worms with the school, etc..If I hadnt arranged to leave at the six month mark though, I dont know how it wouldve played out. As for more details, I wish I could, but the forum is a little too public given that I have no wish to unnecessarily complicate anyone elses life at this point.. unlikely, but still a factor. There really isnt too much more to tell anyway, except for the minutia that would be reserved for an in person retelling over a beer or something like that..

[hydrogonian]

Heres anoother angle that might be more likely. I should have asked about this before.

What is the chance that the new school will be notified about my last assignment by immigration, even if I left the last job off of the CV? If they were, the new school would then likely call the old school to check out their experience with me. It would likely get back to Mrs. X if that occured and then she would know that I was in-country. I know know one here could likely say what would happen for sure, but I thought I would bounce that scenario out here anyway.

[bassexpander]

Be careful in this situation.

I knew a guy who showed up at the Incheon airport 3 months after a runner (he'd been in Thailand taking a break). His old boss heard about it through a disgruntled teacher who got wind of his return. The boss called the airport police, and notified them that a "dangerous former teacher who had fled before being caught" 3 months prior was arriving at 9pm on flight number XXX.

When my friend was waiting for his baggage, three uniformed officers came running down the escalator. He sort of freaked, and tried to run, but was tackled by a customs official in front of a planeload of surprised onlookers. The women even began screaming, thinking he was some kind of terrorist with a bomb. More officers came. By this time, my friend was on the ground, and they began pulling his leg... kind of like how I'm pulling yours now.

[cdninkorea]

[bassexpander]

In all seriousness, your biggest problem is going to be keeping future employers from calling the school based on a resume.

On another note, if this is a public school, she may have been shifted to another location by now. I believe they have to move every 3 years.

[Tobias]

Your biggest threat is your former co-teachers. If you weren't liked by those, if you didn't blow sunshine up their asses, they may have an axe to grind. One place where you must be careful is this site. If I wanted to return to Korea and didn't want any of my old co-freaks to know, I'd post lots of disinformation. Post here that you're working in Spain now when you're really just down the road teaching away in Korea. Then throw back your head and cackle with insane glee!

If they don't like you, watch your back.

[hydrogonian]

Wow! Those are some insane stories. I guess im not that paranoid after all. And are you serious, Rjrr? Your buddy was actually killed in Korea over a GF issue? Thats unbelievable. I guess he just upped and disappeared one day? I mean how many murders occur in Seoul each year? Not many I would assume. And your buddy was one of them? Your not blowing smoke? If not, wow. That is some unfortunate luck. Was there an investigation? Did they find the body in the Han River? How was he killed? Im admittedly naieve when it comes to Korea, but still I had no idea to what extent the Mafia operates there.

Id like to think that her heart wasnt that black to want me dead. She was just a woman in love, and I dont think she wished me harm. But still, who really knows. I did used to keep an especially heavy steel spatula by the chair when she would show up all crazy eyed, just in case. I would be worried about her bobbitting me or killing me if I saw or slept with her again. Sort of an "if I cant have you than know one can" sort of thing. But that would be a long shot..lets hope.

She was having all of the credit card transactions forwarded to her cell phone for the teachers under her watch. So, when I went to dinner with a female colleague of mine once (purely platonic) all hell broke loose about ten minutes after we paid. Called me, pulled up to me on the street, and tried to beat me up in an empty parking lot. She knew we were friends, and i guess when the bill showed for a higher priced restaurant in the area she knew it was us at the restaurant together. An crazy assumption, but she was right. Maybe she did have private surveillance on me at that point to, and thats how she knew. I never thought of that before. Wow. Who knows what other info she gained from those CC cell phone reports.

Yeah, you never know who really liked who at the school I guess. Im an all around friendly guy, but there are always hidden animosities between co-workers. I didnt have any, but that could mean that i was the douche in the room, haha. But I hope not. I would definately work in another part of the country. Fortunately, I left the school under good terms, albeit not ideal, and the principal and I liked one another enough. I gave them enough time, and waited for them to find and hire a replacement.

This is already too much info, and I cant think of anything else that wouldnt be too identifying, to me or to her, to say. But I wish I could, because the rest of the story is good. If I ever meet any of you in a bar, you might here the rest of it. But I just cant on this forum. I know its a tease, and Im not trying to do that. I am truly sorry that I cant tell the rest. I do like to tell it.

Im gonna have to watch Dexter for some tips I think

[hydrogonian]

To answer your question, cdinkorea, I got rid of her by my leaving the country! I would have never been free, otherwise. And that almost didnt work. She fully intended to come here, and had made advanced plans to do so. I mean advanced. She applied for and obtained a grant to come to the USA to study for a Masters degree that she already had! And this was a competitive grant that she had to go to some trouble to get. After that, I was getting phone calls at my house in the states weekly. She inevitably got upset at something I did/said all the way here in the states, and I stopped answering her emails and she stoped calling. But, to this day, I swear i get hang ups that are a little too frequent and consistent, and I suspect that its her. She does have my address here in the states as well, and money is no object for her. I just hope her heart cools a bit in terms of her anger and jealousy, and that she can be at peace. For her sake and my own. I did get an email from her this year that I didnt answer, and she sounded better. I didnt answer it because i think opening a dialogue would be a bad idea. Also, my email address has changed since then. But I do think of her frequently. Its hard to go through something that intense, on so many levels, and to completely leave it behind you. And as i said before, the sex was the best that ive ever had, which also makes her hard to forget.

[cruisemonkey]

This is K-land... where nothing is level, square or plumb; and everything you know is wrong.

After 5000 years of history, they've managed to win exactly one (1) war... and still haven't figured how to install a 'J' trap in a sink to keep the sewer gas from rising.

[cruisemonkey]

[hydrogonian]

haha, cruisemonkey, Im not sure what you mean exactly? It sure wasnt me. Not sure about her. I do know that she had a good time though, when there were good times to be had. I think that was at the center of the problem

[RJjr]