Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tzechuk]

I don't normally complain about life in Korea, or living in Korea. I certainly don't normally create a thread about anything of the complaining nature, but I'll bet none of you have ever experienced anything like this. Ever!

So today I was at the train station with my daughter waiting for our train. I was already in a foul mood upon finding out that there wasn't a train between 2 and 3pm. Basically there was one at 1.56 and the next one wasn't until 2.59. I couldn't believe or understand the logic of it.

No matter. We went to 7-11, bought snacks and drinks. Went to the bookstore, bought stickerbook and colouring book. Went to the overpriced KTXMini Store and bought crayons. My daughter was happy. We found 2 seats and sat down. She was kneeling down colouring happily (with the book on the seat) when suddenly an ajumma decided to come up and tell her to move her stuff so she could sit down. My daughter was shocked beyond believe and just looked at me, about to cry.

I looked at the ajumma - I was so angry that I couldn't remember a single word in Korean and just started yelling at her in English. Now.. I am a trained singer, so when I yell, I yell at the top of my lungs. She was lucky I only asked her *how the hell is my daughter going to do her colouring now? What makes you more important than her such that you get to sit and she has to remove her stuff just for you?* Then I gathered up our stuff and left for the train. People gawked but I didn't care.

Before anyone jumps down my throat - I do NOT ask for concessions just because I have a kid. When we are on the bus, instead of having her occupy her own seat (she is not old enough to pay), I have her sit on me, so other people can sit down. When we are on the train, I buy her her own ticket (she is just over 4 years old, needs her own ticket). I even buy her a ticket for the express bus and she doesn't need one and can sit on my lap, but it's just more comfy for her to have her own seat on those long distance journeys.

But seriously, this really, really upset me.

Am I wrong to get so upset? Did I over-react?

[Robot_Teacher]

Rude old people expect respect as they were raised on the old values that you respect your elders though this old value is quickly going out the door. Normally the front seats of buses and trains are for the old people, but today, kids didn't get up out of the front seats when an old lady boarded the bus. I was sitting near the rear with rear seats available around me, but she expected me to get up after having passed the kids sitting up front with almost losing her balance as the bus accelerated. I looked at her thinking, "Go back and tell them kids to get up as the front seats are for old people." She sat down behind me making gross grunts.

As for a sitting area where you wait, again seats are generally given up to old people be it Korea or the West, but normally they wouldn't rudely demand it.

Were there more seats? If not, was she in obvious critical condition? If not, she needs to be ignored and told to go take a hike if she can't be sociable in a friendly manner. A warm hearted lady would express joy to you about your small child. A witch would wish misfortune and irritate you to the point of screaming.

[Binch Lover]

Mmm... maybe she reserved the seat and expected to be able to sit in it!

[Adventurer]

[Michael_75]

Don't get angry about it, or seeth about it. Keep calm and acknowledge that some people are just jerks and that you will always be better than them no matter what.

Don't blame Korea either. It's one woman out of millions. Similar types exist the world over regardless of nationality. It's just more noticeable as a foreigner because when these things happen there is always the question at the back of your mind "is this racism?". Maybe in some cases it is, in most cases though it probably isn't a factor.

[tzechuk]

[SHANE02]

If I was you I would have felt the same. My daughter comes first before anyone else. That's just how I feel. I would have continued and ignored the bitch then said No if needed.

[Michael_75]

ETA: Michael, I am Chinese, my daughter is half Chinese, half Korean. She looks like your everyday Korean kid, with the exception of her big eyes and cuteness overload (I know I am biased as her mother, but ask around, you will find people agreeing). There isn't racism involved. This woman was just being your typical ajumma who felt she had the right to do absolutely anything. If she had asked, I would have probably said it's OK, we are leaving for our train anyway, have our seats. The fact is that she didn't even ask, but demanded that she put her stuff away to let her sit down. and actually sat down before my daughter had a chance to take her stuff away. She was JUST quick enough to whip her book out from her butt before she sat on it.[/quote]

OK that's a different situation but the same point still applies. She's just not a nice person. I was only saying that people like that will act that way wherever and to whoever. I'm sure some/most (I have no statistics to call on) ajummas are very nice.

[Adventurer]

I guess she has that mentality that seats for people to sit on, not for a child to draw on, so she moved your daughters things. I definitely wouldn't agree with what the woman did, because that's not how you treat a baby who is enjoying herself and drawing. It's one thing if the daughter was a teenager and not using the seat to sit. I can understand where the ajumma was coming from, but it was a horrible thing to do and really thoughtless and rude.

She had no manners. Perhaps, I would have told the ajumma to move and put my stuff there. Or, I would have been calm and shook my finger at her and let her know she was unkind as if to say, "Woman what's wrong with you, and just take my child...".

There are all kinds of people in this world who act in certain ways that make you want to shake your head. The best thing to do is handle it as calmly as you can, but it felt like an attack on your child. Who would like that? It seems like bizarre behavior to just move a child's stuff and then sit.

[Ilsanman]

If she asked, I'd just say no. No discussion. Conversation over.

If she took the seats, I'd make sure she moved. Your daughter could then sit in the seat, if that is somehow better than having her stuff on the seat.

I'd make an exception if she was like 80 and looked like she's going to drop dead any second.

Funny side story. I was in a station when the train arrived. Some old lady who could 'barely walk' carrying a cane suddenly lifted up the cane and ran onto the train. Albeit not fast, but she was able to run the 5-10 metres.

People are often not as feeble as they appear to be.

[David Gerrington]

Conversely, I was riding the subway one time on a Saturday and it was pretty full. Now, I would definetly give up my seat for an older person etc...

But then some ajoshi got on with his kid and started screaming at me, half in Korean, half in English to get out of the seat so that his kid could sit down.

I don't find the asking to vacate my seat part offensive at all (although obviously I felt disinclined after someone acted like a ****)

But why did he choose me to yell at rather than the tens of other people who shared his native language?

[agoodmouse]

[Sergio Stefanuto]

[sportsguy35]

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!


Korea Sparkling? I don't want to compare to things in other countries but when you have a title like that, what else can a person do?

You are Chinese and you think this is rude???????? Have you ever been to China? If there were other seats available, the woman probably should have sat somewhere else. But you waaaaay over-reacted.

It is funny to me that people on this board get all over Koreans for get angry at Japan for trying to take Dokdo but they defend you when you get angry at someone taking your daughters seats. The woman was wrong, but your reaction was waaaaaaaaay over done.

You came to the right place to get sympathy though. When a Korean does the slightest wrong thing, this is the place you can sum it up to all Koreans being rude and terrible people. Classic.

[esetters21]