Korean Job Discussion Forums

[curiousaboutkorea]

Hi, if you could please spare some time, I'd appreciate it.
I'm new to dating in Korea. This is the first person I've seen.

Recently, I met a Korean girl through an online dating site. We went out the the other night. We had a great time, originally just planned dinner. We wound up walking around for a long time, going to a tea house for tea and dessert as well as the arcade for a little bit. I really enjoyed it, she seemed to as well.

Anyways, I heard you're not supposed to wait long to contact her after the first date, unlike in the West. So I texted her later that night, blah blah blah, everything was good. Yesterday, I contacted her and we made plans to go out today, which we did.

We were supposed to go to the park, which we did for a short time, but it was windy and she didn't wasn't to stay out there. We walked around an entertainment/shopping/restaurant area. We decided to go see a movie. I bought us tickets, but it was a while til the movie started, so we decided to go eat. It took a bit of coaxing on my part (she was being timid). Anyways, she ate like there was no tomorrow, good in my opinion.

We went to the movie, which was a pretty serious film. I finally got the courage to reach over to hold her hand, which wasn't on the armrest, kinda near her face. When I first touched, she didn't go along. A moment later, I glanced over and she had a huge smile on her face, maybe laughing silently a bit. I dunno if she was embarrassed. Anyways, I tried to hold her hand again, and she went along with it. I'd occasionally look over, and she'd have a huge smile on her face. (And it couldn't have been about the movie, which was pretty intense and serious).

We go to walk around after; I hold her hand which she goes along with. She's not necessarily gripping my hand, but does seem to like it I guess. I dunno. We walk for a while like that. We go to get coffee. Now, face-to-face, we're sitting there. We talk a bit, not a lot, but it wasn't an awkward silence. I noticed though, she wasn't smiling. I would try to smile at her, but she wouldn't smile back. She just kept the same straight expression, not usually looking right at me. Yet, at the same time, she was seemingly in no hurry to get home. I also noticed she really wouldn't smile when we were walking around holding hands.

So, I don't really understand. I know this all might sound really lame. Why was she grinning ear-to-ear in the theater, but not at the cafe/walking around? I'm trying to figure this out. I can't tell if she's interested or not. Was she just going along with it to avoid conflict? I need some help here. This is the first Korean I've dated. Thanks

[The Gipkik]

She was grinning from ear to ear in the theater because she had privacy and didn't have to worry about what other people were thinking about her being with a foreigner. In public, she might have been embarrassed. Don't show your weakness here by having any doubt. She won't find that an attractive quality. Just ask her out again. If no, then no. Then you'll know.

[cdninkorea]

The previous poster may be right, or it may be something completely mysterious to everyone but her.

I remember a few years ago I was out with a Korean girl who kept complaining that she was tired. The first time I said, nonchalantly, "do you want to go home?" She was surprised to hear me ask this and said "no, why do you ask?" Puzzled, we kept hanging out. A few minutes later, another "oh, I'm so tired." Again, I said "if you're tired, it's really okay. We can cut the night short." She was confused yet again and said "no, I'm having fun. Why do you think I want to go home?"

It didn't make sense until years later: she wasn't complaining about being tired as an excuse to go home, and made no connection between her being tired and me asking if she wanted to go home: rather, she was just making conversation, telling me what she's thinking or whatever.

Very different from our culture (assuming you're from a culture with similar dating norms as central or eastern Canada). I can't help explain why your date was acting this way; it's best just to press on. After all, what do you have to lose?

[Joe666]

There are no rules son! I don't care which planet you are on. The sooner you realize this, the easier it gets. I love reading posts on this topic which state it could be this or this or maybe this and that. Yes, it could be one of them, it could be all of them, none of them? Who knows. She may not even know.

[Leslie Cheswyck]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTrez8h1JSM&feature=related

*bong*

[GreenlightmeansGO]

Lol, best of luck to you. Persist and she will open up. If you are the first foreign guy she's been out with, there's a good chance she's still figuring out how she feels about it and how she should act.

[PigeonFart]

I think the person who said that nobody knows is right.

I was going to give you advice but i don't know anything when i really think about it. You're you, so do what you think is best.

That being said, i wouldn't advise holding hands with her in public....especially since you've just met. It will attract too much attention for her to feel comfortable with. Koreans don't like to stand out from the crowd.

[Rory_Calhoun27]

Sometimes ya just gotta let the soju flow, and let the chips fall where they may. There's a reason it's called "Liquid Courage" and "Cupid in a Can." though from what I've seen, it's mostly in a bottle.

[Toju]

[agoodmouse]

Dawson from Dawson's Creek all over again.

[Joe666]

I already weighed in on this one. I apologize for proceeding off the topic, but Toju's avatar has me pissing myself. Some peoples avatar's are a thing of beauty. I have to go change my undies.

curiousaboutkorea - Be careful of what that curiousity might turn into. Things can get mighty strange in the Hermit Kingdom, fast!!!

[agoodmouse]