Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ppcg4]

The last month or so I just feel like leaving here... no real reason really. Other than the fact that I don't have any friends here...

My grandmother has been sick for years and I worry that I'll miss her death... not that it's something pleasant to be around for, but you know... I don't want to be the only one in my family who's absent for her funeral.

I also am not at all achieving one of the goals that I came here for... I'm spending more money than I'm making each month. I'm paying off student loans, but I still find myself using my credit card a lot at the end of the month. Each month I pretty much max out my $500 limit (I have more than one card).

I was hoping to make a trip SOMEWHERE in July, maybe Jeju or anything like that, just to get away. Looks like that's not happening due to financial problems.

It's just starting to feel pointless. But I know that when I get home, I'll end up working in some stupid call center or worse...

Give me some reasons to stay. Don't give me any of this 'you need to find the reasons in yourself' BS. If you've felt like me, tell me why you chose to stay.

Edit: I'm from a small town near Niagara Falls, Ontario. There's not much opportunity for me there.

[Captain Corea]

From the sounds of it, your problems are not related to where you are.

I doubt running will help.

[kabrams]

You've already told yourself.

[Rory_Calhoun27]

You have to make an effort to find friends. I say life itself is an adventure here sometimes. I took the bus one time to work, and found a millipede on my schoulder- where it came from I have no idea...


You actually have to make an effort to meet people. Start with coworkers. If at a hagwon, consider you probably make much more than the Korean teachers do. When I went to lunch with my fellow teachers, I tried to always buy lunch for them- it was at a gimbap shop, so super cheap, but they still appreciated.

and boy, did it pay dividends when I was asked to join a Friday afterschool dinner! at a Mexican restaurant no less.... boy, were they impressed by my 4 years of high school Spanish.... and one semester of college Spanish!

And cut up the credit card. If money is a problem, eliminate one of the problems, and start to manage everything else. but yes, ultimately the choice is up to you.

[Cerriowen]

One thing I've learned... where ever I am... Where ever I go... I'm still me.

You'll end up working a crappy job, have money problems, have no friends... ANYWHERE in the world.

Or you can have an adventure pretty much anywhere in the world. It just sounds cooler to tell people you're having an adventure in Korea rather than in... say... Kansas

At least here you can get away with being the wierd waegookin, and random people on the street will want to talk to you.

[kabrams]

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Rory_Calhoun27]

[Cliffhanger]

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Countrygirl]

I also felt like this all last year. My emotions went up and down every month but mostly it was down. When I left to go back to visit Canada last year, some issues happened at my school which made me not want to come back but I had signed a contract. I also had too much invested here and nothing to go back to.

I didn't really have friends because I don't go to bars and I'm really shy. Even though my husband is here I was lonely because he always plays tennis and leaves me alone....ie one of two big reasons why I felt stressed and depressed here (the other is that my husband doesn't have a stable job). Dave's was where I could go to hear English conversation about issues relevant to me.

The turning point was a lot of little things. Eventually the classes I'd taught had led to making some friendships. Joined a Korean class and church and was able to meet foreigners in the same boat as me.

We now are considering my third year contract. My husband wants to go back to Canada because Korea treats him like crap, but my kids and I want to stay here.

I'm here because I have an easier life in Korea than I would in Canada (ie. I get to spend more time with my kids, live in a bigger place than I would in Vancouver and I get to spend more money) and I am no longer lonely.

Korea isn't always easy but it might work out if you just make it past a certain point. For me it was the one year mark. Get out there, do what scares the pants off of you, plan for your future (ie. take courses).

If you only want to leave because of loneliness, I recommend toughing it out. One year is not that long and, in the end, it might just be culture shock that's got you down. If you make it to the end, you'll feel like you've accomplished something big. My family back home looks at me with respect because I've been here as long as I've have.

I also wouldn't worry about being there for your grandma's funeral. Make a midnight run if you need to. I first came here 10 years ago and during that time my mom called me to tell me my grandma had became sick and was in the hospital. I was so stressed and depressed. Now, 10 years later, she's the strongest of all my remaining grandparents.

[Countrygirl]

[VanIslander]

Go with your gut, not your head.

The older I get, the more often I realize my gut was right nearly every time! even/especially the times I didn't listen to it.

Go for a long walk one morning and don't stop until you know what to do even if you have to walk all day. If you've never gone for a 4 to 12 hour walk to ponder your choices in life you don't know what you're missing. It'll probably take a few hours to get into the zone, certainly a while to clear the noise and just 'sit' in your situation, so to speak. Try it out. Don't overthink. For sure reflect on everything, as it comes to you, just make sure to reflect on what your overall sense is.

Good luck whatever.

[TwoFold]

Great thread in terms of people chipping in to keep things positive!

I will have to agree with all the above advice, with a story about one of my friends.

I�ve known this friend all through grade school. We weren't exactly the best of friends, but still got along really well and hung out with mutual friends. Later on, I ended up rooming with him in college.

Now I should mention that this friend always was a clean cut, shy, honest, and a straight-laced guy. If you met him on the street you would swear that he jumped right out of the Leave It To Beaver Show; no exaggeration. However, as the years went on in college I noticed that he became a bit more distant when we talked about plans after school. His take on life was that things were always the same, predictable, and inevitably he would end up in a dead end job. Since I was not alone in noticing this pattern, we asked him if he'd ever considered studying abroad (add some excitement and adventure to his life). The prospect sparked his interest and he decided to take the entire summer to travel Europe. When asked about the trip, he always spoke of getting a "new perspective." So from the standpoint of the people he knew, we agreed that it was a step in the right direction for him.

After he returned, we got to talk to him about his travels and looked through the thousands of pictures he took. I was excited to see that he saw so many amazing things and learned so much. But nothing really changed about him. Not a single thing. It almost sounded like the whole trip (full of adventure/excitement) was nothing more than your normal Monday.

More time passed. He went and traveled more, this time for work. The opportunities he had while abroad were nothing short of amazing. His stories, told without much emotion, made most envious. Just like the first venture, he made friends overseas and even had the interest of some very attractive girls. Anything about him change though? Nope.

So like other posters have said, wherever you go, that�s where you are.

In summary then, listen to the advice of those that have posted above:

1. Your problems are not related to where you are. Running will not help.

2. Stop spending money, cut up your credit cards.

3. Join some meet up groups and take a short half-day trip somewhere.

Hope this helps.

Best of Luck.

[flakfizer]

Don't run. If you find that you are not happy here and life in Korea is not what you had hoped, go ahead and leave. Not everyone likes the same things and sometimes quitting is the right thing to do and oh so liberating. However, do not "run". If you come to the conclusion that leaving Korea will improve your life, do that, but complete your contract or give a month's notice to your employer. Running without notice makes life difficult on your employer and your co-workers, perhaps students too.