Korean Job Discussion Forums

[eIn07912]

i need help like ive never needed it before.

today i had to print out a rather large file for my classes (40+ pages). The printer in our office wasnt working, so i asked my supervisor if i could use the printer in her class room. Shocked to learn the file was so large, she reluctantly agrees. "Ok", she says. "But you have to tell me a funny story while we wait", "ok" i said. She then tells me to wait while she calls in two other teachers to hear my funny story. Nope, no pressure at all now. Seeing their eyes dance with anticipation, i quickly search my brain and recall the funniest story i can from my boring life with such short notice.

It was about me in my first year in korea. a group of friends and i had gone out for a long night of drinking. after starting at a couple of bars, we eventually wound up at a singing room till the wee hours of the morning. beginning to sober in the early morning sun, one friend in the group decides to call it a night (or a day) and take himself and his korean girlfriend home to, well... you know. After we say our goodbyes, the rest of my friends and i decide we need some kimbap to settle our booze weary stomachs. While pounding down the seaweed covered rice snack, we remember that our friend (that left earlier) never locks his door at night. Going home in assuredly a drunken stupor, tonight should be no different. We then realize that the best way to end this night of nights, was to barge in our friend and his lady and proceed to jump up and down on the bed while they were doing the nasty. We sneak up to his floor and put our inebriated ears to his door. Sure enough; mattress squeaking, furniture rattling, and korean girl moaning. It was go time. We burst into the apartment screaming and yelling, hooting and hollering, moaning and groaning, all while bouncing up and down on his bed, laughing so hard at one point it became difficult to control our flatulence. Our friend was initially amused, laughing along with us. His lady friend was screaming for completely different reasons. frightened and embarrassed, she covers herself with the blanket, while we, still laughing so hard we hadn't noticed our now annoyed friend was trying to kick us out. After a few high fives in the hallway, we head to our respective apartments. The situation gets only funnier as we can hear that our other friend has dropped his key in the apartment and now has to interrupt their love making a second time so that he can finally go to bed.

By the end of this story, the awkwardness has grown so thick, it's visible on all our faces. Being nervous, i've left out words and phrases that are normally recited with precision when i tell this story. Ive forgotten pauses for laughter and effect and have begun mumbling something that on its best day can vaguely resemble to English language. my face now blushing blood red, im faking the laughter that would normally fill the room. i recalled only later that maybe one reason this story is so funny is that ive only told it to other foreigners or very westernized korean girlfriends ive had. I couldnt even get a courtisy "we're laughing to cover up how uncomfortable we feel" laugh from these 3 very proper korean ladies that have long passed their drunken prank phase, if they ever had one. "And he's still friends with you after that?" one asks. "Yeah, he thought it was great" is all i could reply. The two other teachers then inform us that that have something urgent that they must get back to. Leaving me alone in the room with my supervisor and the longest 15 minutes of awkward silence imaginable. Her eyes fixed on her computer screen and typing furiously... me, just staring off into space. "Hot out today" is all i could inject into the silence. "Yes" she replies. After what must have been a day and half, my file is finally done, and the relief of me leaving that room is clearly felt by both of us.

I tried to smooth things over later by bringing her a stack of "replacement paper" for her printer and an orange juice from the corner store. "Sorry I used up so much of your paper"... "thats ok." I then race back to my class to burry my head into whatever work i could find for the rest of the day. I've never been so embarrassed. Not even when i got a boner while playing an angel in the church play. But thats another story for another time.

So, my question: How can I make this all better? Should I just forget it ever happened, try to separate myself from these teachers as much as humanly possible until we all move away or die? Do I apologize? Or do I try to replace that memory by conjuring up something else, so that the next time im with them, i can honestly make them laugh with something, they almost forget the hell i just put them and myself through today?

[Kenny Kimchee]

Now that's what I call a faux pas!

This:

[Hanson]

Ask your coworkers to tell you a funny story. Whatever the story, look confused and ask if they're still friends with whoever their story was about. Ask about the weather. Walk out.

[Straphanger]

A story about humping ... yeah.. with a bunch of women... Good call, man.

[SFValley]

When reading or hearing a story, people generally relate to (or identify themselves as) one of the characters. In your story, the three who found the "prank" humorous, were all male. You told your story to three female teachers. The only female in the story was the one screaming and trying to cover herself with a blanket. I think the teachers you told your story to were probably identifying themselves with the Korean female and mortified that this happened.

In your next story, make the female character the one who gets to laugh and have the foreign males be the ones freaking out or embarassed - they may laugh at that.

[Zantetsuken]

Hell dude...all you should have said in response to "tell me a funny story" is "Sorry I don't have any stories about men dressing up as women or people hitting each other with rubber mallets over a laugh track...nothing I say would be of interest to you"

[thoreau]

Send them all an email asking if they want to go out for a night of drinking with you and your friends.

[Epicurus]

[Joe666]

It's a potent humorous "western story". The key phrase being "western story". Sometimes informal conversations with Koreans can be a painful experience. Your choice of material was not "choice" by any stretch.

Don't act any different from this point on. That will send a negative signal.

[chemicalblur]

This won't be taken lightly. Expect to be called in to the principal's office for a lengthy discussion.

I would also pack your bags just in case.

[Pojogae]

Boy, I can't wait til the media gets a holda this one!

Headline: Low-Quality Unqualified English Teacher Brags About Drug-Fueled Pack Rape of Korean Virgin in Front of Class of 6 Year-Olds Whilst Cackling Madly (and uses up all his supervisor's paper!)

Your days are numbered pal. Anti-English-Spectrum are assembling the case as we speak.

[ChinaBoy]

If I was in charge I'd have fired the OP on the spot and get him deported and blacklisted. What a moron.

Stories like this make everyone think of English teachers as sex-crazed rapists.

[kimuchiii]

Ahaha hahahah that sounds like the mother of all awkwardness there! If you can't pretend it didn't happen-hopefully they will forget. You can casually apologize-bring in some nice Starbuck's coffee/drink/her favorite tell her you don't know why you told that kind of story-apologize if it offended her and ask her to "forget it" so you don't die of embarrassment. Haha good luck or happy packing whichever you decide

[roadwork]

[eamo]

Don't worry! They're Korean! You can buy a round of ddeok and all will be forgiven!